soulless_npc
ángeles y demonios
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2023
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2019
I'm in college and living in an off campus apartment, isolating myself after class because I'm a lonely incel who can't socialize properly. Every weekend my housemates, who I haven't spoken more than five words to, have loud parties blaring music and lots of girls over. I, of course, am not invited even though I live in the same house, because I'm sub 5 and don't have social status.
From the room next door I can hear girls talking and moaning, it sounds as if there are at least 2-3 girls and 2-3 guys. I look out my window and I see in the house next door, through the window which is wide open, a naked girl riding a naked guy on the couch. My adrenaline rushes and my soul is filled with jealousy, sadness and a deep longing. I put in some earplugs to try to blot out the noise and smoke some weed.
I'm feeling down, so I go to visit my only friend at this time. We talk about shit and he gives me a bag of magic mushrooms, saying that the experience might help me a bit. I go back to my place and contemplate it for a bit, and then eat a mushroom. After about ten minutes I start to notice sort of a waterfall effect whenever I look at light sources, like a glitch or a visual lag. Then a little later out of nowhere panic sets in.
I felt suddenly, profoundly aware of all the evil in the world, and that I was some sort of divine hero who would stand up against injustice and wrongdoing, a sort of Messiah complex. Except I either felt like I was going to die, or as if I had been poisoned and my brain was never going to function properly again. My heart rate increased and I started to freak out as I was becoming incapable of rational thought or even of simple motor actions. I pace around my room for a bit like a caged animal trying to calm myself down, but the insane thoughts keep blossoming and sprouting new tendrils which only lead my mind further down bizarre rabbit holes of madness.
Eventually I give up and go knock on the guy next door's door because I don't know what else the fuck to do. After a few minutes he comes to the door and in the background I can hear a girl say "who the fuck is it?" I explain to this guy, who is fat and not particularly attractive, how I just ate magic mushrooms and I'm fucked up. He tells the girl he'll brb and he goes downstairs with me and calls 911 because for some reason I was incapable of making a phone call. Even in this state I feel some sense of humiliation, this guy is getting freshman pussy and I'm a loser dweeb who just fucked myself up.
While we're waiting, I'm low inhib due to being out of my mind and I whine about not getting any pussy. The guy chuckles and explains that he had gone to military school, and implies that if I had gone to military school I would probably get pussy too, presumably, as opposed to being a beta incel faggot who was taking substances just to endure my shitty life.
Eventually an ambulance arrived and took me to the hospital, my psychosis had only increased at this time as I was deeper into the trip, and I was screaming nonsense and rocking from side to side. My mind was filled with demons and all I could think about was sex and everything that I wasnt experiencing in college. They give me some sort of sedative which took effect, and I slowly felt sanity returning. I was still low inhib so I talked shit and tried to flirt with the female nurse.
An hour or so later I was discharged and walked all the way back from the hospital to my apartment. The discharge paperwork had my diagnosis listed as "Acute Intoxication From Hallucinogens".
A couple months later I dropped out of college and would never return. I had no further experiences with psychedelics as I felt that one trip had a permanent effect on me and I would never be able to view life the same way again. A lot has happened since then, but I can still remember this experience extremely vividly.
The end.
I'm in college and living in an off campus apartment, isolating myself after class because I'm a lonely incel who can't socialize properly. Every weekend my housemates, who I haven't spoken more than five words to, have loud parties blaring music and lots of girls over. I, of course, am not invited even though I live in the same house, because I'm sub 5 and don't have social status.
From the room next door I can hear girls talking and moaning, it sounds as if there are at least 2-3 girls and 2-3 guys. I look out my window and I see in the house next door, through the window which is wide open, a naked girl riding a naked guy on the couch. My adrenaline rushes and my soul is filled with jealousy, sadness and a deep longing. I put in some earplugs to try to blot out the noise and smoke some weed.
I'm feeling down, so I go to visit my only friend at this time. We talk about shit and he gives me a bag of magic mushrooms, saying that the experience might help me a bit. I go back to my place and contemplate it for a bit, and then eat a mushroom. After about ten minutes I start to notice sort of a waterfall effect whenever I look at light sources, like a glitch or a visual lag. Then a little later out of nowhere panic sets in.
I felt suddenly, profoundly aware of all the evil in the world, and that I was some sort of divine hero who would stand up against injustice and wrongdoing, a sort of Messiah complex. Except I either felt like I was going to die, or as if I had been poisoned and my brain was never going to function properly again. My heart rate increased and I started to freak out as I was becoming incapable of rational thought or even of simple motor actions. I pace around my room for a bit like a caged animal trying to calm myself down, but the insane thoughts keep blossoming and sprouting new tendrils which only lead my mind further down bizarre rabbit holes of madness.
Eventually I give up and go knock on the guy next door's door because I don't know what else the fuck to do. After a few minutes he comes to the door and in the background I can hear a girl say "who the fuck is it?" I explain to this guy, who is fat and not particularly attractive, how I just ate magic mushrooms and I'm fucked up. He tells the girl he'll brb and he goes downstairs with me and calls 911 because for some reason I was incapable of making a phone call. Even in this state I feel some sense of humiliation, this guy is getting freshman pussy and I'm a loser dweeb who just fucked myself up.
While we're waiting, I'm low inhib due to being out of my mind and I whine about not getting any pussy. The guy chuckles and explains that he had gone to military school, and implies that if I had gone to military school I would probably get pussy too, presumably, as opposed to being a beta incel faggot who was taking substances just to endure my shitty life.
Eventually an ambulance arrived and took me to the hospital, my psychosis had only increased at this time as I was deeper into the trip, and I was screaming nonsense and rocking from side to side. My mind was filled with demons and all I could think about was sex and everything that I wasnt experiencing in college. They give me some sort of sedative which took effect, and I slowly felt sanity returning. I was still low inhib so I talked shit and tried to flirt with the female nurse.
An hour or so later I was discharged and walked all the way back from the hospital to my apartment. The discharge paperwork had my diagnosis listed as "Acute Intoxication From Hallucinogens".
A couple months later I dropped out of college and would never return. I had no further experiences with psychedelics as I felt that one trip had a permanent effect on me and I would never be able to view life the same way again. A lot has happened since then, but I can still remember this experience extremely vividly.
The end.
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