Dude420
Ascend or Rope
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2018
- Posts
- 3,045
- Reputation
- 6,728
First I was in a deep meditative state, wasn't thinking about anything, just being in the present, I wouldn't say it felt good, maybe very slightly, but it just felt neutral for the most part, but it felt like a superior state than being in my head thinking, since most usually refers to that type of experience as being enjoyable and I perceived it only as neutral seems to have influenced how I went about philosophizing about life. I sometimes went on referring that experience as nothingness.
Then I went on and wrote:
it is adaptative to be at the fine line to the desire of wanting to kill ourself, if we were very happy (not eternal happiness, just mostly very high, staying at least high most of the time), we would just be addicted to it and trigger again and again basic triggers, like drinking water, it is like extremely mild pleasure, it could have been orgasmic but if it was, we would just drink, be addicted to drinking, just trigger that pleasure, too good, trigger, override motivation do to long hard things with lower whatever payoff, wife needs you to provide food, cause unsatisfactory state/discomfort comes in, but if drinking could outweigh it, just keep drinking, but no it needs not to be really enjoyable so we go do the thing instead of just continue drinking water. I guess you would be full of water at some point. let say the satisfaction of gently rubbing your finger against a surface was super orgasmic level, that creature would just rob his finger against a surface, while you normal human goes on hunting, you would have a fitness advantage over the ones that get pleasure easily. so things are all meh. but the thing is that the upside needs to be high enough so we engage in it, so we don't just lay there and do nothing instead. let say it was only pain the payoff for all possible actions you would say fuck off by quitting the game (killing yourself). So minimal enjoyment, at least for the things that are easily accessible, just enough so you don’t want to kill yourself because many things also trigger pain.
but it must be extremely adaptive to want to kill yourself if you are old, can’t provide, can’t do shit, assuming your offspring are taking care of you but are struggling for themselves, still want you to take some of their food so you can survive, you take away their chances of survival, your existence is only a deficit to the survival of your own genes, your existence is a net negative, it is adaptive to die right now, you must want to die so bad. Because lets say you have to stay in bed and can’t really communicate with the world, your few pleasures left is eating/drinking, but those experience that used to be pleasurable must now feel unpleasurable at the conceptualization that it takes away the chances of survival of your offspring while you know you are on the brink of death, the genes is hurting itself by eating.
let say that type of previously referred experience was your default for everything, eating/drinking would feel bad, you will want to kill yourself, it can’t be that way, must provide higher pleasure. but not too high so you just addict repeat repeat repeat too good. porn is a bit that by being a superstimuli on our modern environment. well yeah, any of those sort of addiction. an itch, a pleasurable itch.
I don’t understand why I should kill myself
I don’t feel compelled to
but I don’t understand why I shouldn’t do it
I guess the incentive to live is dopamine, bare minimum dopamine though, as we just concluded, I live for that bare minimum programmed accessible dopamine
but if the only reason to live is pleasure I should just hijack it with hard drugs
why I wouldn’t you do that?
if the reflex is just to say no, then dopamine is not the right answer and there is no reason to live, so if the reason to live is dopamine you should do hard drug.
so the only option left is hard drugs or kill yourself. Well maybe only soft drugs, because hard drugs can derail your life and make your life less pleasurable in the long run.
the thing is that killing yourself there is no reason not to do it and no reason to do it.
life is meaningless so you can kill yourself nothing matter. but if that is the case, it is then meaningless to kill yourself, because everything including that act is conferred to be meaningless, why would you do that then? do something of absolute meaninglessness. it kills the argument.
you can’t find the motivation to do a meaningless act out of the realization of his meaninglessness
things you are motivated to act upon are meaningful in some ways.
it is impossible to die by the deepest contemplation of the meaningless of existence. it can only accentuate the desire if one is in a state of suffering. why go through suffering if all of it is meaningless in the end.
but if you are in a good state the hard belief of the meaningless of existence can’t kill yourself. it simply can’t. killing yourself is meaningless, why would push through following this act? If everything is meaningless, why would you do this out of all the possible acts you could do. There is no reason to do anything because all of it is meaningless. But being in nothingness/present moment is also meaningless, so you are stuck by default doing meaningless. you can’t escape but acting meaninglessly.
there is no reason to do anything. but there is no reason to do nothing.
that is textbook existential paralysis.
your body just give you a physiological crave (ex hunger), it manufactures a reason to do something, and you just follow them.
But when it doesn’t trigger any because your needs are met and having no needs entailing psychological craving relating to self/ego due to psychopathologies/traumas from earlier experiences; let’s say you isolate yourself. in a room, no sound, no nothing, no stimulant/demand from the environment can arrive at you. (you don’t have a child, wife, friends, family, because those would create craving based on people demands/expectations on you. even if they are not there, let say your parents might stop giving you their heritage if you stay there and not be there for them, which would make you quit staying in the room doing nothing. lose your friends etc.)
You are faced with should I be in the absolute nothingness vs why you shouldn’t kill yourself
the thing is that you might run out of food
if you had an infinite supply. it is theoretically impossible, outside environment can fuck with it. but let say all humans are dead, you are on an isolated island. you have infinite food.
everyone is dead, infinite food storage somehow, and infinite water.
your sit on a comfortable chair.
why do something?
it sort of cancel out again; when you are in the nothing, then nothing want to nothing, nothingness brings the realization of why wouldn’t you kill yourself if it is only nothingness, it is like neutrally equal (nothingness vs death), if it is only nothingness than killing yourself can’t emerge out of nothingness, so you stay by default in nothingness, sort of the same as the thought before.
it is sort of impossible that the realization of the meaning of life is contemplation/nothingness through meditation.
because to arrive at a state of pure contemplation, planing for survival during your contemplation time is required.
if the meaning of life is contemplation than planing for it is meaningful but planing is anti-contemplation
meaningful would require anti-meaningful
basically is you want to maximize contemplation, you need to maximize your planning to get the longest periods of optimal contemplation, but searching for the optimal level requires more thinking/planning so it hinders what it wants to achieve.
how can you maximize your contemplation knowing you need to get out of it to figure out to get into it
contemplation is in some ways forfeiting to plan how to get more contemplation time for the future
wait but what can increase your possibility to contemplation more in the future, the accumulation money for supply to be comfy
but if you can’t accumulate value that can't perish for the future (like ancestral life)
once you catch your prey and you know you have food for day, no point to get more, then your house is pretty well built, and since you are sort of nomadic, no point doing more, than you could craft more weapon for future hunting, but you already have one, with extra ones, and more you would be too much to carry when moving, everyone is good, even wife/child, group is good, ballsack crempied your wify.
you can just contemplate more, more nothingness, good out of chilling
current era eternal dissatisfaction because you can always plan for a better fictional future
hard work, eternally grind hard for better future, is a pure evolutionary mismatch since you can always accumulate more you never gain the pay off of just chillin/enjoying it like an ancestral time, there is much less of an accessible endpoint for enjoyment in the present time
should just chill, living frugally
we are programmed to want to accumulate more to feel satisfaction, no wants, bliss out of the absence of dissatisfaction
but now we can always accumulate more, so we can’t ever be satisfied (can also be like more muscles as athletes)
(btw you could say well there is your counter-argument ancestral male they could train to be more fit for future hunting endlessly, but more muscle isn’t necessarily useful when a lot of endurance is required, you probably grow the optimal amount of muscles for ancestral life out of living an ancestral lifestyle, exerting more energy also require more food)
girls are attracted to fit dude but not too muscular, because the just fit guy was the fittest(in terms of genetic fitness)).
fuck this life, we are clearly unhappy
we can’t access that satisfactory state, because more for future self is always up for grasp.
the richer you are (meaning the more goods you accumulate) the more unhappy you will be because more things to think about will be absorbing your consciousness, the more you think, the more you get away from the present moment where bliss can be found, so if you accumulate more stuff, the unhappier you are.
even if you are rich without any material stuff, money in the bank is still something, the abstraction of a thing you possess, it is something running in your head making you preoccupy giving you low-level stress/anxiety consuming you (is it securely placed? could I make more interest out of it?)
added: then I realized I shouldn't be smoking before my surgery and I started being paranoid about that.
Then I went on and wrote:
it is adaptative to be at the fine line to the desire of wanting to kill ourself, if we were very happy (not eternal happiness, just mostly very high, staying at least high most of the time), we would just be addicted to it and trigger again and again basic triggers, like drinking water, it is like extremely mild pleasure, it could have been orgasmic but if it was, we would just drink, be addicted to drinking, just trigger that pleasure, too good, trigger, override motivation do to long hard things with lower whatever payoff, wife needs you to provide food, cause unsatisfactory state/discomfort comes in, but if drinking could outweigh it, just keep drinking, but no it needs not to be really enjoyable so we go do the thing instead of just continue drinking water. I guess you would be full of water at some point. let say the satisfaction of gently rubbing your finger against a surface was super orgasmic level, that creature would just rob his finger against a surface, while you normal human goes on hunting, you would have a fitness advantage over the ones that get pleasure easily. so things are all meh. but the thing is that the upside needs to be high enough so we engage in it, so we don't just lay there and do nothing instead. let say it was only pain the payoff for all possible actions you would say fuck off by quitting the game (killing yourself). So minimal enjoyment, at least for the things that are easily accessible, just enough so you don’t want to kill yourself because many things also trigger pain.
but it must be extremely adaptive to want to kill yourself if you are old, can’t provide, can’t do shit, assuming your offspring are taking care of you but are struggling for themselves, still want you to take some of their food so you can survive, you take away their chances of survival, your existence is only a deficit to the survival of your own genes, your existence is a net negative, it is adaptive to die right now, you must want to die so bad. Because lets say you have to stay in bed and can’t really communicate with the world, your few pleasures left is eating/drinking, but those experience that used to be pleasurable must now feel unpleasurable at the conceptualization that it takes away the chances of survival of your offspring while you know you are on the brink of death, the genes is hurting itself by eating.
let say that type of previously referred experience was your default for everything, eating/drinking would feel bad, you will want to kill yourself, it can’t be that way, must provide higher pleasure. but not too high so you just addict repeat repeat repeat too good. porn is a bit that by being a superstimuli on our modern environment. well yeah, any of those sort of addiction. an itch, a pleasurable itch.
I don’t understand why I should kill myself
I don’t feel compelled to
but I don’t understand why I shouldn’t do it
I guess the incentive to live is dopamine, bare minimum dopamine though, as we just concluded, I live for that bare minimum programmed accessible dopamine
but if the only reason to live is pleasure I should just hijack it with hard drugs
why I wouldn’t you do that?
if the reflex is just to say no, then dopamine is not the right answer and there is no reason to live, so if the reason to live is dopamine you should do hard drug.
so the only option left is hard drugs or kill yourself. Well maybe only soft drugs, because hard drugs can derail your life and make your life less pleasurable in the long run.
the thing is that killing yourself there is no reason not to do it and no reason to do it.
life is meaningless so you can kill yourself nothing matter. but if that is the case, it is then meaningless to kill yourself, because everything including that act is conferred to be meaningless, why would you do that then? do something of absolute meaninglessness. it kills the argument.
you can’t find the motivation to do a meaningless act out of the realization of his meaninglessness
things you are motivated to act upon are meaningful in some ways.
it is impossible to die by the deepest contemplation of the meaningless of existence. it can only accentuate the desire if one is in a state of suffering. why go through suffering if all of it is meaningless in the end.
but if you are in a good state the hard belief of the meaningless of existence can’t kill yourself. it simply can’t. killing yourself is meaningless, why would push through following this act? If everything is meaningless, why would you do this out of all the possible acts you could do. There is no reason to do anything because all of it is meaningless. But being in nothingness/present moment is also meaningless, so you are stuck by default doing meaningless. you can’t escape but acting meaninglessly.
there is no reason to do anything. but there is no reason to do nothing.
that is textbook existential paralysis.
your body just give you a physiological crave (ex hunger), it manufactures a reason to do something, and you just follow them.
But when it doesn’t trigger any because your needs are met and having no needs entailing psychological craving relating to self/ego due to psychopathologies/traumas from earlier experiences; let’s say you isolate yourself. in a room, no sound, no nothing, no stimulant/demand from the environment can arrive at you. (you don’t have a child, wife, friends, family, because those would create craving based on people demands/expectations on you. even if they are not there, let say your parents might stop giving you their heritage if you stay there and not be there for them, which would make you quit staying in the room doing nothing. lose your friends etc.)
You are faced with should I be in the absolute nothingness vs why you shouldn’t kill yourself
the thing is that you might run out of food
if you had an infinite supply. it is theoretically impossible, outside environment can fuck with it. but let say all humans are dead, you are on an isolated island. you have infinite food.
everyone is dead, infinite food storage somehow, and infinite water.
your sit on a comfortable chair.
why do something?
it sort of cancel out again; when you are in the nothing, then nothing want to nothing, nothingness brings the realization of why wouldn’t you kill yourself if it is only nothingness, it is like neutrally equal (nothingness vs death), if it is only nothingness than killing yourself can’t emerge out of nothingness, so you stay by default in nothingness, sort of the same as the thought before.
it is sort of impossible that the realization of the meaning of life is contemplation/nothingness through meditation.
because to arrive at a state of pure contemplation, planing for survival during your contemplation time is required.
if the meaning of life is contemplation than planing for it is meaningful but planing is anti-contemplation
meaningful would require anti-meaningful
basically is you want to maximize contemplation, you need to maximize your planning to get the longest periods of optimal contemplation, but searching for the optimal level requires more thinking/planning so it hinders what it wants to achieve.
how can you maximize your contemplation knowing you need to get out of it to figure out to get into it
contemplation is in some ways forfeiting to plan how to get more contemplation time for the future
wait but what can increase your possibility to contemplation more in the future, the accumulation money for supply to be comfy
but if you can’t accumulate value that can't perish for the future (like ancestral life)
once you catch your prey and you know you have food for day, no point to get more, then your house is pretty well built, and since you are sort of nomadic, no point doing more, than you could craft more weapon for future hunting, but you already have one, with extra ones, and more you would be too much to carry when moving, everyone is good, even wife/child, group is good, ballsack crempied your wify.
you can just contemplate more, more nothingness, good out of chilling
current era eternal dissatisfaction because you can always plan for a better fictional future
hard work, eternally grind hard for better future, is a pure evolutionary mismatch since you can always accumulate more you never gain the pay off of just chillin/enjoying it like an ancestral time, there is much less of an accessible endpoint for enjoyment in the present time
should just chill, living frugally
we are programmed to want to accumulate more to feel satisfaction, no wants, bliss out of the absence of dissatisfaction
but now we can always accumulate more, so we can’t ever be satisfied (can also be like more muscles as athletes)
(btw you could say well there is your counter-argument ancestral male they could train to be more fit for future hunting endlessly, but more muscle isn’t necessarily useful when a lot of endurance is required, you probably grow the optimal amount of muscles for ancestral life out of living an ancestral lifestyle, exerting more energy also require more food)
girls are attracted to fit dude but not too muscular, because the just fit guy was the fittest(in terms of genetic fitness)).
fuck this life, we are clearly unhappy
we can’t access that satisfactory state, because more for future self is always up for grasp.
the richer you are (meaning the more goods you accumulate) the more unhappy you will be because more things to think about will be absorbing your consciousness, the more you think, the more you get away from the present moment where bliss can be found, so if you accumulate more stuff, the unhappier you are.
even if you are rich without any material stuff, money in the bank is still something, the abstraction of a thing you possess, it is something running in your head making you preoccupy giving you low-level stress/anxiety consuming you (is it securely placed? could I make more interest out of it?)
added: then I realized I shouldn't be smoking before my surgery and I started being paranoid about that.
