Feeling fake

[subhumanslayer193]

I feel like my actions are fake and i pretend to be someone im not just to fit in with everyone and not be seen as weird. I just ive had no actual important convos with friends and its just been retarded shit but i feel like this will affect my life in the future not being able to maintain long relationships that are meaningful (18M btw)
Tbf a lot of people say they talk to others just because they put up with it and are not interested in what they are saying but i feel like im even bad at hiding i dont care .
Im in a spot where im getting philosophical about each aspect in life and im questioning everything maybe its just because im young and taking a step towards being an adult.
Anyone else understand

 

[sadism]

just be more fake

 

[Asiangymmax]

https://looksmax.org/members/subhumanslayer193.173561/

 

[Randomized Shame]

It's normal. The best thing you can do is just try to enrich yourself personally instead of waiting on a specific type of connection to help you. Join websites/clubs/whatever that have your interests as the main focus and then you can talk to them about the subject and so on. Read books about the stuff you're interested in, listen to podcasts, watch video essays, read articles, and so on.

You will find a good connection who you deem as meaningful, it's just not going to happen from force. If you cannot fulfill these desires yourself, then you're going to seek it from others and then feel unfilled when they don't meet a specific criteria in your head.

Friendships are mainly meant to be fun and goofy, is what I mean. It's normal to want it from others as well but you should try working on it personally first before expecting it from others.

 

[subhumanslayer193]

It's normal. The best thing you can do is just try to enrich yourself personally instead of waiting on a specific type of connection to help you. Join websites/clubs/whatever that have your interests as the main focus and then you can talk to them about the subject and so on. Read books about the stuff you're interested in, listen to podcasts, watch video essays, read articles, and so on.

You will find a good connection who you deem as meaningful, it's just not going to happen from force. If you cannot fulfill these desires yourself, then you're going to seek it from others and then feel unfilled when they don't meet a specific criteria in your head.

Friendships are mainly meant to be fun and goofy, is what I mean. It's normal to want it from others as well but you should try working on it personally first before expecting it from others.

Thank you, i kinda forgot that theres bound to be people that relate to me aslong as i focus on my thing

 

[lastredeemer]

 

[subhumanslayer193]

https://looksmax.org/members/subhumanslayer193.173561/

?

 

[Zeekie]

I WANTED TO ANSWER TO THIS BUT FORGOT. Nigga know the feeling, been fake basically my whole life since I'm a little autistic and can't let people know about that lmao.

It's hard honestly, but that's just life, if you wanna get anywhere, you gotta take the part of yourself that don't work, shove them deep inside your ass and not letting anyone find out about them. It's fake, but that's what you have to do.

Furthermore, your feelings about relationships are your fault. I'm sorry, but I learnt this the hard way, your situation is kind of like mine, so I will extrapolate my findings to you and see if they apply, you likely learned to force yourself to fit in the crowd, not give opinions because you feel different from others, hence you need to hide who you truly are and "fake it", that behaviour is not completely wrong, there's a reason why your brain developed to behave that way, but still, you need to learn how to control it.

What's happening to you is that you get so caught up in holding up this fake persona, that you simply become emotionally unavailable, you don't connect with people because you fear being seen as weird, and how do you expect relationships to flourish if you never are emotionally there for people beyond the surface level stuff?

This is all highly contradictory and difficult, you just can't keep a fake persona but also open up to people, what I learnt to do is to let people open up to you. You need to start being even faker (lol...), act like you care about people, text your friends, act like you care about their feelings and emotions, validate them, EVEN IF IT ISN'T TRUE, again, you gotta fake it. If you learn to make people feel like you care for them beyond the "fun level", and if you actually show people a deeper caring side of you (that's not even real), your bonds will start to become stronger and you will finally feel like you have real friends, at least in some level.

Because truth is, if you fake it all your life, you will always feel like an impostor, your only option is to learn to live with the feeling.

 

[maybeinthenextlife]

real talk