ElySioNs
Mercenary
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- Feb 7, 2021
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I’ve been with my fiancé for 2 years engaged for 2 months. I can go on and on about how great he is but I won’t waste your time. He’s awesome.
Him and my sisters boyfriend have gotten really close over the past year and they talk atleast twice a week whether on the phone or FaceTime or just hanging out with all 4 of us.
Sister has been with her boyfriend since high school so obviously her boyfriend knows me very well. As well as my dating history.
Last weekend bc of the quarantine we all thought it would be fun to drink and hang out over FaceTime. It was a FaceTime double date and we all had a blast. Laughing, playing drinking games, we all partied for over an hour and that’s when I was over it and decided to leave the party to call my sister directly without the boys in another room.
Wel my fiancé and her boyfriend stayed on FaceTime and continued to get drunk together. During this time (I couldn’t hear shit bc I was in another room and was talking to my sister), sisters boyfriend goes and tells a bunch of stories about my college days and how many guys I hooked up with.
Just so everyone knows...idk the actual #. My first 3 years of college was literally one giant party. Without being too descriptive...I admit I was “excessive”. But at the time it was just what we did. I was single during that time and me and my friends...did a lot. With slot of guys. Most of them I couldn’t even pick out of a lineup. But again...I WAS IN COLLEGE!
Anyways, one of the parties I went to I ended up hooking up with 4 different guys at the same time. (This is relevant later)
My fiancé is handsome as fuck and I know for a fact he’s been with several women. We talked about our past a lot in the beginning of our relationship. I wasn’t 100% honest with mine and I can only assume that he was.
After everyone hung up, me and my fiancé were laying in bed and about to sleep when he just Calmly asked me “Did you get gangbanged in college?”
My response was “wtf? Why would you ask that?”
That’s when he told me everything that my sisters bf told him. He told me details I’m not even sure are 100% true bc again...blur. But a lot of the info was accurate and so I just told him yes. It was one time. He continued asking questions about the other stuff but the “gangbang” thing kept coming up and he had ALOT of questions about it that I answered the best of my knowledge.
Fast forward to Wednesday...things had been fine and normal sun mon tue. But on Wednesday...radio silence. He hasn’t texted or talked to me in 3 days. The breaking point was tonight when he came home from work and he asked me
“Are you friends with any of the guys on Facebook?”
Again, not lying to him I admitted that yes I was friends with all of them.
He left a few hours ago and I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing. I’m tempted to call the cops but I feel like that will just make it worse. I feel like garbage. I fucking hate my sisters bf right now but maybe it’s not even his fault, maybe I shoulda been more honest? I’m so lost. He is the best thing to ever happen to me and I’ve never seen him like this before. Is this the end? He refuses to return my calls/texts.
_Relevant comments from OOP_
_I told him a lot of stuff that I did. I happen to leave the worst part out. Does everyone’s husband/wife know every single partner they each had???_
_Yes there was a lot of stuff. He asked about all of it and I answered everything. The only thing that he kept coming back to and asking questions about was the worst part_
[update ](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/g3gh5k/update_fiancé_left_me_after_he_found_out_about_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) April 18, 2020
This is the 2nd time I’m updating bc my 1st one got deleted.
He eventually came back in the middle of the night and we talked untill the morning. We both agreed that he needs to distance himself from the relationship while he figures stuff out. He admitted the only thing he cared about was the “gangbang” and he told me he couldn’t get the visual out of his head. He then told me about a 3some he had in college which I think is totally made up and he just wanted to get a rise out of me but who knows. It just sounded so unbelievable and it felt like he was trying to get back at me.
We did make love before we went to sleep but it was not. Good. And by not good I mean he felt like he was just trying to punish me once again. Everything was weird from the kissing to the ending (being vague here bc this part is probably what got my post deleted last time).
He left in the morning to go stay with his parents and I haven’t seen him since. We still text everyday but it’s different. Everything is different and at this point I’m almost positive we aren’t going to get married. And again, at this point, I’m ok with that. I know I fucked up and I know I lied and all I can do is live and learn. As soon as this quarantine ends I plan on using my work program that helps people find therapist. It’s part of my benefits and I’ve never used it before and I’m legitimately excited to start working on myself for the future, whatever may happen between me and him.
Now...to everyone who left me nice messages. I couldn’t reply to you all so I’m just saying thank you for your help and your advice. None of you know me and you are all awesome and I hope everyone nothing but the best.
To the people who left me horrible messages. Yes I read everyone of them. No, your names do not hurt me. I am not perfect and never claimed to be and I know I have a lot of work to do. But I hope all of you happiness in your perfect relationships with your perfect selves and good luck with everything.
Also, just want to point out there was some confusion about who I was friends with on Facebook. It was just the 4 guys from the “gangbang” that I was friends with, not every guy I’d ever been with. And I’ve since deleted every single one of them. Again, my fuck up. Live and learn.
_Relevant comments from OOP_
_I have over 3000 friends on Facebook. I don’t talk or interact with 99% of them. I admitted I fucked up and it’s not like I was checking their post._
_Very stupid, you’re right. If only every 19 year old girl could be so smart and always do the right thing. Thank you for your comment._
_I wasn’t staying in touch. I hardly ever check my fb. I have thousands of friends on there. I don’t even know what they are up to or what they are doing. But I admit I fucked up._
_I understand all view points here. It’s possible he is not the one. There is someone out there who won’t judge me for my past and that’s who I will find. Thank you for your comment._
_You nailed it. Back in the day you used to accept anyone and everyone as Facebook friends. Nowadays I literally go weeks without so much as even opening the app. Thank you._
_I’m not going to cut contact. We still text everyday and believe it or not, no matter if he doesn’t want to marry me he’s my best friend. I fucked up, it doesnt mean he automatically stops caring about me and I, him. Thank you though._
_I’m done lying. Whether admission or omission. I won’t be dating anyone for awhile untill I do some work on myself. Thank you for the comment._
Him and my sisters boyfriend have gotten really close over the past year and they talk atleast twice a week whether on the phone or FaceTime or just hanging out with all 4 of us.
Sister has been with her boyfriend since high school so obviously her boyfriend knows me very well. As well as my dating history.
Last weekend bc of the quarantine we all thought it would be fun to drink and hang out over FaceTime. It was a FaceTime double date and we all had a blast. Laughing, playing drinking games, we all partied for over an hour and that’s when I was over it and decided to leave the party to call my sister directly without the boys in another room.
Wel my fiancé and her boyfriend stayed on FaceTime and continued to get drunk together. During this time (I couldn’t hear shit bc I was in another room and was talking to my sister), sisters boyfriend goes and tells a bunch of stories about my college days and how many guys I hooked up with.
Just so everyone knows...idk the actual #. My first 3 years of college was literally one giant party. Without being too descriptive...I admit I was “excessive”. But at the time it was just what we did. I was single during that time and me and my friends...did a lot. With slot of guys. Most of them I couldn’t even pick out of a lineup. But again...I WAS IN COLLEGE!
Anyways, one of the parties I went to I ended up hooking up with 4 different guys at the same time. (This is relevant later)
My fiancé is handsome as fuck and I know for a fact he’s been with several women. We talked about our past a lot in the beginning of our relationship. I wasn’t 100% honest with mine and I can only assume that he was.
After everyone hung up, me and my fiancé were laying in bed and about to sleep when he just Calmly asked me “Did you get gangbanged in college?”
My response was “wtf? Why would you ask that?”
That’s when he told me everything that my sisters bf told him. He told me details I’m not even sure are 100% true bc again...blur. But a lot of the info was accurate and so I just told him yes. It was one time. He continued asking questions about the other stuff but the “gangbang” thing kept coming up and he had ALOT of questions about it that I answered the best of my knowledge.
Fast forward to Wednesday...things had been fine and normal sun mon tue. But on Wednesday...radio silence. He hasn’t texted or talked to me in 3 days. The breaking point was tonight when he came home from work and he asked me
“Are you friends with any of the guys on Facebook?”
Again, not lying to him I admitted that yes I was friends with all of them.
He left a few hours ago and I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing. I’m tempted to call the cops but I feel like that will just make it worse. I feel like garbage. I fucking hate my sisters bf right now but maybe it’s not even his fault, maybe I shoulda been more honest? I’m so lost. He is the best thing to ever happen to me and I’ve never seen him like this before. Is this the end? He refuses to return my calls/texts.
_Relevant comments from OOP_
_I told him a lot of stuff that I did. I happen to leave the worst part out. Does everyone’s husband/wife know every single partner they each had???_
_Yes there was a lot of stuff. He asked about all of it and I answered everything. The only thing that he kept coming back to and asking questions about was the worst part_
[update ](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/g3gh5k/update_fiancé_left_me_after_he_found_out_about_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) April 18, 2020
This is the 2nd time I’m updating bc my 1st one got deleted.
He eventually came back in the middle of the night and we talked untill the morning. We both agreed that he needs to distance himself from the relationship while he figures stuff out. He admitted the only thing he cared about was the “gangbang” and he told me he couldn’t get the visual out of his head. He then told me about a 3some he had in college which I think is totally made up and he just wanted to get a rise out of me but who knows. It just sounded so unbelievable and it felt like he was trying to get back at me.
We did make love before we went to sleep but it was not. Good. And by not good I mean he felt like he was just trying to punish me once again. Everything was weird from the kissing to the ending (being vague here bc this part is probably what got my post deleted last time).
He left in the morning to go stay with his parents and I haven’t seen him since. We still text everyday but it’s different. Everything is different and at this point I’m almost positive we aren’t going to get married. And again, at this point, I’m ok with that. I know I fucked up and I know I lied and all I can do is live and learn. As soon as this quarantine ends I plan on using my work program that helps people find therapist. It’s part of my benefits and I’ve never used it before and I’m legitimately excited to start working on myself for the future, whatever may happen between me and him.
Now...to everyone who left me nice messages. I couldn’t reply to you all so I’m just saying thank you for your help and your advice. None of you know me and you are all awesome and I hope everyone nothing but the best.
To the people who left me horrible messages. Yes I read everyone of them. No, your names do not hurt me. I am not perfect and never claimed to be and I know I have a lot of work to do. But I hope all of you happiness in your perfect relationships with your perfect selves and good luck with everything.
Also, just want to point out there was some confusion about who I was friends with on Facebook. It was just the 4 guys from the “gangbang” that I was friends with, not every guy I’d ever been with. And I’ve since deleted every single one of them. Again, my fuck up. Live and learn.
_Relevant comments from OOP_
_I have over 3000 friends on Facebook. I don’t talk or interact with 99% of them. I admitted I fucked up and it’s not like I was checking their post._
_Very stupid, you’re right. If only every 19 year old girl could be so smart and always do the right thing. Thank you for your comment._
_I wasn’t staying in touch. I hardly ever check my fb. I have thousands of friends on there. I don’t even know what they are up to or what they are doing. But I admit I fucked up._
_I understand all view points here. It’s possible he is not the one. There is someone out there who won’t judge me for my past and that’s who I will find. Thank you for your comment._
_You nailed it. Back in the day you used to accept anyone and everyone as Facebook friends. Nowadays I literally go weeks without so much as even opening the app. Thank you._
_I’m not going to cut contact. We still text everyday and believe it or not, no matter if he doesn’t want to marry me he’s my best friend. I fucked up, it doesnt mean he automatically stops caring about me and I, him. Thank you though._
_I’m done lying. Whether admission or omission. I won’t be dating anyone for awhile untill I do some work on myself. Thank you for the comment._
