Mediterranean
Larpcel
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2022
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I am writing this because I have carried this pain inside me for too long. I think it is time to let it out. For years, I tried to hide that I am Indian. I wanted to fit in, to be accepted, but now I am asking myself – why? Why should I be the one to feel ashamed? Why should I let anyone make me feel like my culture, my identity, and my very existence is less? I grew up as one of the few Indian kids in my school. From the very beginning, I stood out. My skin was darker, my lunch smelled different, and my parents spoke in a language most people didn’t understand. It wasn’t long before the teasing started. At first, it was small things – kids laughing at my lunch or asking why my mom wore “funny clothes.” But soon, it became relentless. They called me “curry.” They said I smelled weird, like “spices.” They made fun of my accent when I spoke English, even though it wasn’t my first language. They’d ask if my parents were strict, if we all lived in one room, or if I was “going to marry someone my parents picked.” They’d say things like, “Oh, do you work in a call center?” and laugh like it was the funniest joke in the world.
Do you know what it’s like to be a child and feel like your entire identity is a punchline? I do.
I hated it. I hated everything about myself that made me different. I stopped bringing Indian food to school, even though it was my favorite. I begged my mom to let me wear jeans and a T-shirt to cultural events instead of the beautiful kurtas she bought for me. I stopped speaking my language in public, afraid someone would overhear and mock me. I even tried to “correct” my accent to sound more “Western.”
But no matter how much I tried to fit in, it was never enough. The teasing didn’t stop. The jokes didn’t stop. And inside, I felt smaller and smaller. I started to believe what they were saying. I started to think, “Maybe being Indian is something to be ashamed of.” This went on for years. I grew up with this weight on my shoulders, this anger in my chest, this feeling that I had to hide who I was just to survive. But then, something changed. One day, I was scrolling online, and I came across a post. It was written by someone who had experienced the same things I did – the teasing, the shame, the feeling of being an outsider. But instead of hiding, they had embraced their identity. They spoke about how beautiful and rich their culture was, how proud they were of their heritage, and how they refused to let anyone make them feel small anymore. Reading that post was like a slap in the face. It made me realize how much I had been denying myself. I started thinking about everything I’d been taught to be ashamed of and seeing it in a new light. Our food, for example. Yes, it’s full of spices. Yes, it smells strong. But do you know why? Because it’s made with love, with care, with history. Every spice has a purpose, a story. People all over the world pay a fortune to eat the food I grew up with, but back then, I was too embarrassed to even open my lunchbox. And our clothes – the kurtas, the sarees, the salwar kameez – they’re not just “clothes.” They’re art. They’re tradition. They’re a connection to our ancestors. I used to think they were “too colorful” or “too flashy” because I wanted to blend in. Now, I wear them proudly, and I feel more connected to who I am.
Our festivals, like Diwali and Holi, aren’t just “funny Indian holidays.” They’re celebrations of life, love, and light. They’re a way to bring people together, to honor our traditions, to remember where we come from. Even our language – the one I used to be embarrassed to speak – is a gift. Do you know how powerful it is to be bilingual? To be able to connect with people across cultures, across generations? I do now. The world tries so hard to take from us. They take our spices, our yoga, our music, our movies, our traditions – and they repackage it, sell it, and call it “exotic.” But when it comes to respecting the people behind these things, there’s silence. They’ll praise the benefits of turmeric but still call us “curry.” They’ll say they love Bollywood but laugh at our accents. Well, I’m done. I’m done letting people make me feel ashamed of who I am. I’m done pretending to be something I’m not just to make them comfortable. I’m Indian, and I’m proud of it. If my food, my clothes, my language, or my culture makes you uncomfortable, that’s your problem, not mine. To anyone out there who’s felt the same way I did – please, don’t let them win. Don’t let their ignorance make you feel small. Our heritage is something to be celebrated, not hidden. Our identity is a source of strength, not shame.
I won’t lie to you – it took me years to get here. It took me years to stop hiding, to stop apologizing, to stop feeling like I had to earn my place in the world. But now that I’ve embraced who I am, I feel free. So to the people who mocked me, who made me feel like I wasn’t good enough: I see through you now. Your jokes were never about me. They were about your ignorance, your fear of what you didn’t understand. And to my fellow Indians: Be proud. Be loud. Teach your children to love their heritage. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are. We come from one of the richest, most vibrant cultures in the world. That’s something no one can take away from us.
Do you know what it’s like to be a child and feel like your entire identity is a punchline? I do.
I hated it. I hated everything about myself that made me different. I stopped bringing Indian food to school, even though it was my favorite. I begged my mom to let me wear jeans and a T-shirt to cultural events instead of the beautiful kurtas she bought for me. I stopped speaking my language in public, afraid someone would overhear and mock me. I even tried to “correct” my accent to sound more “Western.”
But no matter how much I tried to fit in, it was never enough. The teasing didn’t stop. The jokes didn’t stop. And inside, I felt smaller and smaller. I started to believe what they were saying. I started to think, “Maybe being Indian is something to be ashamed of.” This went on for years. I grew up with this weight on my shoulders, this anger in my chest, this feeling that I had to hide who I was just to survive. But then, something changed. One day, I was scrolling online, and I came across a post. It was written by someone who had experienced the same things I did – the teasing, the shame, the feeling of being an outsider. But instead of hiding, they had embraced their identity. They spoke about how beautiful and rich their culture was, how proud they were of their heritage, and how they refused to let anyone make them feel small anymore. Reading that post was like a slap in the face. It made me realize how much I had been denying myself. I started thinking about everything I’d been taught to be ashamed of and seeing it in a new light. Our food, for example. Yes, it’s full of spices. Yes, it smells strong. But do you know why? Because it’s made with love, with care, with history. Every spice has a purpose, a story. People all over the world pay a fortune to eat the food I grew up with, but back then, I was too embarrassed to even open my lunchbox. And our clothes – the kurtas, the sarees, the salwar kameez – they’re not just “clothes.” They’re art. They’re tradition. They’re a connection to our ancestors. I used to think they were “too colorful” or “too flashy” because I wanted to blend in. Now, I wear them proudly, and I feel more connected to who I am.
Our festivals, like Diwali and Holi, aren’t just “funny Indian holidays.” They’re celebrations of life, love, and light. They’re a way to bring people together, to honor our traditions, to remember where we come from. Even our language – the one I used to be embarrassed to speak – is a gift. Do you know how powerful it is to be bilingual? To be able to connect with people across cultures, across generations? I do now. The world tries so hard to take from us. They take our spices, our yoga, our music, our movies, our traditions – and they repackage it, sell it, and call it “exotic.” But when it comes to respecting the people behind these things, there’s silence. They’ll praise the benefits of turmeric but still call us “curry.” They’ll say they love Bollywood but laugh at our accents. Well, I’m done. I’m done letting people make me feel ashamed of who I am. I’m done pretending to be something I’m not just to make them comfortable. I’m Indian, and I’m proud of it. If my food, my clothes, my language, or my culture makes you uncomfortable, that’s your problem, not mine. To anyone out there who’s felt the same way I did – please, don’t let them win. Don’t let their ignorance make you feel small. Our heritage is something to be celebrated, not hidden. Our identity is a source of strength, not shame.
I won’t lie to you – it took me years to get here. It took me years to stop hiding, to stop apologizing, to stop feeling like I had to earn my place in the world. But now that I’ve embraced who I am, I feel free. So to the people who mocked me, who made me feel like I wasn’t good enough: I see through you now. Your jokes were never about me. They were about your ignorance, your fear of what you didn’t understand. And to my fellow Indians: Be proud. Be loud. Teach your children to love their heritage. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are. We come from one of the richest, most vibrant cultures in the world. That’s something no one can take away from us.
