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Envious of women with good loving partners | Mumsnet
I am early 40's, attractive, fit, own my own home, work, no debt aside from mortgage, drive, have plenty of friends, a good social life, close to fami...
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Envious of women with good loving partners
109 replies
amdramsham · 26/09/2023 12:36
I am early 40's, attractive, fit, own my own home, work, no debt aside from mortgage, drive, have plenty of friends, a good social life, close to family but no man I've ever dated has wanted to marry me or commit to me long term.
I look at the other women I know who do have long term male partners who obviously adore them and think what do these women have that I don't? I want to make clear that its not me wanting their husbands but just wondering how some women can find a man who is actually a good partner or be a woman that men want to be that kind of man for and I can't?
My last "proper" relationship ended just after I turned 40 after 2 years when it became apparent that he didn't have any interest in committing to our relationship long term, moving in or marriage. Its hard because in the first 6 months the relationship seems so good, the men seem really happy to be with you and talk about a future together but once you're in love they cool off, treat you like an afterthought and you're left trying to figure out what you did wrong and how to fix it as you're already so invested in the relationship.
When I went back to dating after my last relationship I feel like men in my age range 5 years younger to 10 years older are now quite open about not wanting a serious committed relationship with me, they enjoy my company, they are happy to have a casual arrangement for sex and even dating but commitment and love is reserved for younger women. The only men who are interested in me more seriously seem to be men in their late 50's to 60's who I don't rule out wholesale but I've not met one I find to be compatible and I worry about how it would be with a man close to 70 when I am in my early 50's.
Much younger men are interested but again not as a serious prospect, I've had a few friends get into relationships with much younger guys who suddenly go off them when they meet someone more their own age to start a life and have kids with, understandable perhaps but painful just the same.
I don't know I think perhaps its just your luck if you land a good one when you are young but if you aren't lucky its increasingly hard to find a good man who will commit to you perhaps?
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