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r/NYCbitcheswithtaste•4 mo. ago
puggles323
How are people feeling about the dating apps / NYC dating generally?
DatingLadies,
So glad I found this community - so much useful info! I wanted a pulse check on how people are doing on dating apps and dating in the city because I am down BAD. I am 33, I've been single for a little over 2 years and I really put myself out there but the scene has made my confidence NOSEDIVE.
Let's start with the apps: are they extremely dry for anyone else? I get LOTS of matches but minimal engagement. On Hinge, men rarely message me first (even if they liked me first???) and will seldom respond when I initiate the convo. On bumble, my response rate is about 10% and then they stop responding after one message. And then there is the whole issue of seeing the same men on these apps, over and over and over. Idk if it's a design flaw but how is it that I have a 12 year age range, a 6 mile radius and very few dealbreakers and I keep seeing the same chads??? I'm a conventionally attractive female, I have good pics ... I just don't understand
Then the dates themselves: maybe it's just me, but the guys here are a different beast. I feel like regardless of age, so many NYC men just view women and dating in the city as experiential. They seem to treat dating as getting to access a buffet of different kinds of women (race, age, profession, etc.), making it all a very gamified experience for them instead of treating women like humans?? I've also found so many of them just get really handsy and sexually overt on the first date and I leave the encounters feeling kind of icky. And don't get me started on the ghosting, the dating 4 girls at once, etc.
I'd love to hear if people are having similar troubles or if I'M the issue. I really love the city and want to believe there are good men here and that it's possible to find love - I don't wanna move out of state to meet a man!!
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r/NYCbitcheswithtaste•4 mo. ago
Fit_Pool_8622
How to I tell my friend her dating standards are too high?
DatingTitle says it all i guess... I'm in my late 30s and married and I have a very close friend who has been on the singles scene for years ( got out of a terrible long term relationship 3 years ago) and desparately wants to meet her person and get married and have kids ASAP. I have no friends i can set her up with ( and neither does my husband) so she's stuck pretty much playing the app game and most of our wider circle is also married and in the same boat, but from my observation some of the issue is that she exclusively swipes right on these conventionally attractive like "shirt off at the beach with all their bros" guys who claim to have finance jobs etc... you know the type of guy who is probably still single in his 30s because everyone wants to date him so why should he settle down, is a fuckboy etc. She also dosen't live in the city proper (NJ) so the pool of guys is already low and therefore very competitive in its own way... how do i tell her (kindly) that I think she needs to focus on finding her Harry Goldblatt and stop wasting her time on guys that are 1. fuckboys 2. probably only going to settle down for a 10 years younger, very conventionally thin and pretty girl they meet in the city? i'm not saying she should settle for a bad person, someone financially unstable or who treats her badly etc, but just that she keeps striking out trying to compete at the "ultra hot guy" level and she should try a different population pool? I want her to be happy and find her person, but i also can't deal with the endless complaining when suprise! another chad ghosts her after 3 DMs.
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