KraftPowerStrength
Iron
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2022
- Posts
- 10
- Reputation
- 23
tl:dr in the end!
Alright guys,
I am haven't been here in a long time and I need to get something off my chest. About me: I am 25 y/o, that basically puts me in the older percentile in this community. I wouldn't say I was an outcast or ugly in my youth, I had a consistent circle of friends of whom some were part of the "popular" kids in school. But I knew that I was somewhat confined in this circle I had, I would not be able to make a lateral or even vertical into other social groups and I was afraid of girls, I think you get the idea. Even though I had friends, I was condemned to watch my friends make their encounters with girls from the sideline, I don't think I have to tell you about all of that, most of us went through the same shit. I am thankful that I don't have to thoroughly explain this shit in this community.
Anyways, at around 21 y/o I started heavily improving myself, I started styling my curls, switched to contacts, fixed my skin (tret) and even got rid of my lisp. At some point I became somewhat attractive and interesting to women. A few months ago I met with a big group from my high school years, I haven't seen one of them since graduation. The first thing he said? "Alright, anon definetly had the biggest glow up", I kid you not. I am not a chad but I look good enough to theoretically be able to act like one without attracting weird looks.
But here is the big catch, I have already been conditioned in my youth. No matter how good I look, I will still be somewhat shy. People, and especially women, can instantly tell that something is off about me but won't be able to tell what it is. Judging by my looks they expect me to be this charming player who pulls like crazy, but I am not. Looking like a brazilian Eduardo type of player doesn't help, lmao. They just don't know what my youth was like, they don't know that I didn't look the way I look now, I was different then. In fact, everything I never was, made me everything I am today. I fall in love and get attached easily, because I am not used to getting attention by women. I overthink and don't know how to be charming, I need alcohol to losen up, to become more like women's expectations.
I know for a fact that I am wasting so much potential with women, I am honestly convinced I could pull like crazy if I just started acting like a chad, but I just can't. I met some amazing and dropdead gorgeous women whom I slept with who ironically told me this exact thing, that I would be much more successful with women if I just acted different. I am way more extroverted than 2 years ago but still process is still not over and that's what I want to tell you: most of you won't be able to become a chad (lookwise that is), so don't fall into this delusion that at some point you can still be the autistic sperg but still be able to pull because of your looks and because of that your life is suddenly going to be great and you won't be a sperg anymore, not gonna happen. Becoming a chad (characterwise) is something that needs to happen regardless of your looks. Anything else is just vulnerable narcissism and further insecurity, this is a losing game. Do. Not. Try. To. Play. It.
This is going to sound like bohemian hippie tier stuff but: You need to become more positive, most of you unironically need therapy (and I mean it, not as a joke or anything, I am being completely sincere), be happy with life, do something, anything. Let loose a bit, don't let any kind of -maxxing dictate your life 24/7, be wild and free. Later in life the realiziation that instead of being young you decided to live like a wannabe monk because of "alpha males" is gonna grind you down. You are not Bryan Johnson and you are not Patrick Bateman.
I was like you, a depressed young man, being angry and bitter. Believe me when I say I understand you. I won't tell you that becoming more attractive isn't going to help, but it's such a little piece in a much much bigger puzzle. At best you will end up like a bitter, depressed and sad guy who looks like a chad.
I don't really care about improving my looks anymore, I have long surpassed the point of diminishing returns. Becoming more charming and extroverted will yield benefits far greater than becoming even leaner or what else. I could explain what I mean in more detail but I reckon most of you already got the idea. Most of you lack an older brother figure who isn't some kind of narcissistic looksmaxxing or alpha male Tik Toker but instead offers you serenity, warmth and positivity.
All of this might be water to some of you, but to a lot it is not. If you don't understand what I am trying to tell you, no thread will be able to open your eyes, I think in the end most of you, have to have this kind of epiphany on their own, the same way I did...
And inb4 muh greycel, this is honestly a compliment. Why should countless hours wasted on a forum like this be a badge of honor?
I wish you all the best
+++tl;dr: I worked on my looks and became more attractive, but my past insecurities didn’t just disappear. People expect confidence from me, but deep down, I’m still that shy guy. Looks alone won’t change your life, building real confidence and character will. Stop obsessing over appearance and start truly living+++
Alright guys,
I am haven't been here in a long time and I need to get something off my chest. About me: I am 25 y/o, that basically puts me in the older percentile in this community. I wouldn't say I was an outcast or ugly in my youth, I had a consistent circle of friends of whom some were part of the "popular" kids in school. But I knew that I was somewhat confined in this circle I had, I would not be able to make a lateral or even vertical into other social groups and I was afraid of girls, I think you get the idea. Even though I had friends, I was condemned to watch my friends make their encounters with girls from the sideline, I don't think I have to tell you about all of that, most of us went through the same shit. I am thankful that I don't have to thoroughly explain this shit in this community.
Anyways, at around 21 y/o I started heavily improving myself, I started styling my curls, switched to contacts, fixed my skin (tret) and even got rid of my lisp. At some point I became somewhat attractive and interesting to women. A few months ago I met with a big group from my high school years, I haven't seen one of them since graduation. The first thing he said? "Alright, anon definetly had the biggest glow up", I kid you not. I am not a chad but I look good enough to theoretically be able to act like one without attracting weird looks.
But here is the big catch, I have already been conditioned in my youth. No matter how good I look, I will still be somewhat shy. People, and especially women, can instantly tell that something is off about me but won't be able to tell what it is. Judging by my looks they expect me to be this charming player who pulls like crazy, but I am not. Looking like a brazilian Eduardo type of player doesn't help, lmao. They just don't know what my youth was like, they don't know that I didn't look the way I look now, I was different then. In fact, everything I never was, made me everything I am today. I fall in love and get attached easily, because I am not used to getting attention by women. I overthink and don't know how to be charming, I need alcohol to losen up, to become more like women's expectations.
I know for a fact that I am wasting so much potential with women, I am honestly convinced I could pull like crazy if I just started acting like a chad, but I just can't. I met some amazing and dropdead gorgeous women whom I slept with who ironically told me this exact thing, that I would be much more successful with women if I just acted different. I am way more extroverted than 2 years ago but still process is still not over and that's what I want to tell you: most of you won't be able to become a chad (lookwise that is), so don't fall into this delusion that at some point you can still be the autistic sperg but still be able to pull because of your looks and because of that your life is suddenly going to be great and you won't be a sperg anymore, not gonna happen. Becoming a chad (characterwise) is something that needs to happen regardless of your looks. Anything else is just vulnerable narcissism and further insecurity, this is a losing game. Do. Not. Try. To. Play. It.
This is going to sound like bohemian hippie tier stuff but: You need to become more positive, most of you unironically need therapy (and I mean it, not as a joke or anything, I am being completely sincere), be happy with life, do something, anything. Let loose a bit, don't let any kind of -maxxing dictate your life 24/7, be wild and free. Later in life the realiziation that instead of being young you decided to live like a wannabe monk because of "alpha males" is gonna grind you down. You are not Bryan Johnson and you are not Patrick Bateman.
I was like you, a depressed young man, being angry and bitter. Believe me when I say I understand you. I won't tell you that becoming more attractive isn't going to help, but it's such a little piece in a much much bigger puzzle. At best you will end up like a bitter, depressed and sad guy who looks like a chad.
I don't really care about improving my looks anymore, I have long surpassed the point of diminishing returns. Becoming more charming and extroverted will yield benefits far greater than becoming even leaner or what else. I could explain what I mean in more detail but I reckon most of you already got the idea. Most of you lack an older brother figure who isn't some kind of narcissistic looksmaxxing or alpha male Tik Toker but instead offers you serenity, warmth and positivity.
All of this might be water to some of you, but to a lot it is not. If you don't understand what I am trying to tell you, no thread will be able to open your eyes, I think in the end most of you, have to have this kind of epiphany on their own, the same way I did...
And inb4 muh greycel, this is honestly a compliment. Why should countless hours wasted on a forum like this be a badge of honor?
I wish you all the best
+++tl;dr: I worked on my looks and became more attractive, but my past insecurities didn’t just disappear. People expect confidence from me, but deep down, I’m still that shy guy. Looks alone won’t change your life, building real confidence and character will. Stop obsessing over appearance and start truly living+++
