darkness97
Solstice
- Joined
- May 20, 2020
- Posts
- 2,334
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never realized how hard i was coping about having no girl. i've never really ever had a girl that i liked by my side.
i wonder what that feels like. i bet it feels really good. i don't think it will ever happen for me because i'm such a mess. it's too difficult to clean up at this point. i was coping so hard about no having one but came to the realization today of how much i wanted one. a girl was nice to me for the first time the other day. mind you she was a bit drunk but really nice to me. for some reason i actually went back to where she was, and didn't see her. i felt so much fucking disappointment and then felt angry at my own disappointment.
i have literally become so unbelievably jaded that the idea of being with someone else grosses me out. i am forever mad and angry at woman and life and don't even realize it. i live every day like i'm on a mission to fucking get back at the women who've made me feel like shit. im so jaded and cowardly that i'm practically asexual. i literally am too unconfident to even be aroused around a woman. if a girl is ever trying to get with me i'm like constantly looking for cameras or wait for the other shoe to drop.
but the reality is, is i know that a lot of it is within my control and i'm just being a little bitch about it. if i actually went to the gym, became succesful and did what i was supossed to do, i wouldn't be in this situation expecting the world to just give me a girl that is hot and not crazy. i'm a selfish, conceited little asshole, that is too brain dead to realize the price he has to pay for an actually nice girl.
fuck this life had to vent a little.
i wonder what that feels like. i bet it feels really good. i don't think it will ever happen for me because i'm such a mess. it's too difficult to clean up at this point. i was coping so hard about no having one but came to the realization today of how much i wanted one. a girl was nice to me for the first time the other day. mind you she was a bit drunk but really nice to me. for some reason i actually went back to where she was, and didn't see her. i felt so much fucking disappointment and then felt angry at my own disappointment.
i have literally become so unbelievably jaded that the idea of being with someone else grosses me out. i am forever mad and angry at woman and life and don't even realize it. i live every day like i'm on a mission to fucking get back at the women who've made me feel like shit. im so jaded and cowardly that i'm practically asexual. i literally am too unconfident to even be aroused around a woman. if a girl is ever trying to get with me i'm like constantly looking for cameras or wait for the other shoe to drop.
but the reality is, is i know that a lot of it is within my control and i'm just being a little bitch about it. if i actually went to the gym, became succesful and did what i was supossed to do, i wouldn't be in this situation expecting the world to just give me a girl that is hot and not crazy. i'm a selfish, conceited little asshole, that is too brain dead to realize the price he has to pay for an actually nice girl.
fuck this life had to vent a little.
