D
Deleted member 22511
I don't avoid women, but I do deny them my essence
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2022
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In my teenage years, I had both the opportunity of having sex and getting a girlfriend practically thrown at me at every turn.
In terms of having sex, a girl LITERALLY threw herself at me. I was resting in a small hammock when this girl I knew from school came along and laid down next to me. She smiled and asked me what I was currently up to. I responded "Right now I'm listening to you speak" with a blank expression. Her smile disappeared. You see, I was just stating the blank truth. I didn't mean anything by it. But in retrospect, I realize my response came off as if I was annoyed with her talking to me. That aside, afterwards I would continue to just awkwardly lay next to her, not touching her, not flirting with her, replying to all her questions with monotone 1-word answers.
I was like an opossum playing dead. There were a handful of other interactions like this with other girls, where they would approach me (not the other way around mind you) trying to connect and flirt with me, but I'd be cold, monotone or downright unfriendly. Shit, there was even a time I straight up MENACED a foid for flirting with me and touching me. I was drunk af, walking the streets in the middle of the night, when I came across this group of friends about 4-5 years older than me playing beer pong (they had set up a table and everything on the pedestrian path). I started bothering and harassing them because drunk me is an annoying, antagonistic asshole. At first they weren't bothered by it, in fact they were having fun with my shenanigans. But then one of the girls hit on me and touched my chest, and I suddenly sperged out and yelled at her "DON'T TOUCH ME. THATS SEXUAL HARASSMENT". Go on YouTube right now and look up "Hells Kitchen Dramatic Sound Effect". That's what that shit must have felt like to them in the moment. Instantly killed the mood, made everyone uncomfortable. That shit probably had them worried I was some sort of unstable mental case about to violently lash out against them because they accidentally triggered my childhood rape trauma. That's the thing though, I don't have a childhood rape trauma. I never got raped or molested or anything, so I genuinely haven't got a clue where that reaction came from. It doesn't make any sense. I guess I must have just been on edge or something, I approached them all riled up and aggressive from the start after all. But I don't know, it's still so fucking crazy. Literally defending your virginity tooth and nail against willing sexual partners. WHILE DRUNK. I thought alcohol is supposed to make you more open to having sex, not make you HOSTILE AGAINST THE MERE IDEA OF SEX.
But who cares about any of that shit. ONS's with ""used up roasties"" aren't a replacement for a
genuine connection after all. What you really want is a cute, innocent, HECKIN VIRGIN girlfrienderino. TRUE, PURE, TEENAGE LOVE! Well, thanks for bringing it up, because I fucked that up too:
FINAL WARNING TO OLDFAGGOTS: TURN BACK. THE FOLLOWING MIGHT TRIGGER INTENSE FEELINGS OF PAIN WITHIN YOU
GO HOME TO YOUR WIZARD TOWER AND MAGIC ORB AND FORGET THIS THREAD EVER EXISTED
It was literally the most simple thing ever. We were classmates, and she would always stare at me, smiling, not saying a thing. Eventually I caught on to the fact she had a crush on me and I thought it was really cute. I liked her. But I wasn't in love with her. Really, I just liked her for liking me, not for herself. Then one day at school, after I had had a little to drink, I smiled back at her and asked if she wanted to sit on my lap. She did. A couple days later, the two of us, as well as a friend of hers and a friend of mine, were hanging out together outside. She sat on my lap again, this time while we were swinging on a swingset. Textbook cutesy teen love shit. Then, while she and her friend were temporarily away, I talked about her with my friend. And I pretty much did nothing but gloat about how much of a crush she has on me, how I've got her wrapped around my finger, how I could just fuck her and then dip. But even back then, deep down, I knew I never had the makings of a varsity fuckboy, that I was just boosting my ego with power fantasies to cope with being a teenager insecure with his masculinity (yeah this's boutta be the most unironically soy shit I've ever put on paper, but fuck it). It was all bullshit, a LARP. Regardless, eventually, her crush on me waned. She stopped staring and smiling at me, stopped acting shy around me, we just became like regular classmates that rarely spoke with eachother. I was a little disappointed, but overall not too bothered by it. Years later I would find out her crush for me hadn't actually just "waned" by itself though. I had actually broken her heart and hurt her feelings unknowingly. She knew about the fuckboy larp stuff I was saying about her back then, and it had hurt her a lot. I also once told her fat becky neighbor that we "weren't a thing" while she was still crushing on me. She must have felt heartbroken when her neighbor told her about it, but I once again didn't mean it in a bad way. We had never referred to eachother as boyfriend and girlfriend, it was simply the blank truth again that we weren't "a thing". Another important aspect to this incident is that the way this neighbor girl, a complete stranger to me, kept trying to talk to me about my close personal relationships and private life, had simply made me uncomfortable. So uncomfortable I just said "we aren't a thing" to get her to stop grilling me with her questions about me and the girl. So to sum it all up, I fumbled the girl because of LARPing and because a fat woman talking to me made me feel uncomfortable. Right now you might be thinking, that while it is sad I missed out on wholesome teenage love over trivial shit, at least I was the one who "came out on top" as the heartbreaker. Well, 2 years later we reconnected, I fell in love with her, and then she rejected me LOL. I basically WENT OUT OF MY WAY with that shit to turn my past "victory on a technicality" into a decisive loss.
And today? Today I am a 21 year old incel with volcel characteristics.
In terms of having sex, a girl LITERALLY threw herself at me. I was resting in a small hammock when this girl I knew from school came along and laid down next to me. She smiled and asked me what I was currently up to. I responded "Right now I'm listening to you speak" with a blank expression. Her smile disappeared. You see, I was just stating the blank truth. I didn't mean anything by it. But in retrospect, I realize my response came off as if I was annoyed with her talking to me. That aside, afterwards I would continue to just awkwardly lay next to her, not touching her, not flirting with her, replying to all her questions with monotone 1-word answers.
I was like an opossum playing dead. There were a handful of other interactions like this with other girls, where they would approach me (not the other way around mind you) trying to connect and flirt with me, but I'd be cold, monotone or downright unfriendly. Shit, there was even a time I straight up MENACED a foid for flirting with me and touching me. I was drunk af, walking the streets in the middle of the night, when I came across this group of friends about 4-5 years older than me playing beer pong (they had set up a table and everything on the pedestrian path). I started bothering and harassing them because drunk me is an annoying, antagonistic asshole. At first they weren't bothered by it, in fact they were having fun with my shenanigans. But then one of the girls hit on me and touched my chest, and I suddenly sperged out and yelled at her "DON'T TOUCH ME. THATS SEXUAL HARASSMENT". Go on YouTube right now and look up "Hells Kitchen Dramatic Sound Effect". That's what that shit must have felt like to them in the moment. Instantly killed the mood, made everyone uncomfortable. That shit probably had them worried I was some sort of unstable mental case about to violently lash out against them because they accidentally triggered my childhood rape trauma. That's the thing though, I don't have a childhood rape trauma. I never got raped or molested or anything, so I genuinely haven't got a clue where that reaction came from. It doesn't make any sense. I guess I must have just been on edge or something, I approached them all riled up and aggressive from the start after all. But I don't know, it's still so fucking crazy. Literally defending your virginity tooth and nail against willing sexual partners. WHILE DRUNK. I thought alcohol is supposed to make you more open to having sex, not make you HOSTILE AGAINST THE MERE IDEA OF SEX.
But who cares about any of that shit. ONS's with ""used up roasties"" aren't a replacement for a
genuine connection after all. What you really want is a cute, innocent, HECKIN VIRGIN girlfrienderino. TRUE, PURE, TEENAGE LOVE! Well, thanks for bringing it up, because I fucked that up too:FINAL WARNING TO OLDFAGGOTS: TURN BACK. THE FOLLOWING MIGHT TRIGGER INTENSE FEELINGS OF PAIN WITHIN YOU
GO HOME TO YOUR WIZARD TOWER AND MAGIC ORB AND FORGET THIS THREAD EVER EXISTED
It was literally the most simple thing ever. We were classmates, and she would always stare at me, smiling, not saying a thing. Eventually I caught on to the fact she had a crush on me and I thought it was really cute. I liked her. But I wasn't in love with her. Really, I just liked her for liking me, not for herself. Then one day at school, after I had had a little to drink, I smiled back at her and asked if she wanted to sit on my lap. She did. A couple days later, the two of us, as well as a friend of hers and a friend of mine, were hanging out together outside. She sat on my lap again, this time while we were swinging on a swingset. Textbook cutesy teen love shit. Then, while she and her friend were temporarily away, I talked about her with my friend. And I pretty much did nothing but gloat about how much of a crush she has on me, how I've got her wrapped around my finger, how I could just fuck her and then dip. But even back then, deep down, I knew I never had the makings of a varsity fuckboy, that I was just boosting my ego with power fantasies to cope with being a teenager insecure with his masculinity (yeah this's boutta be the most unironically soy shit I've ever put on paper, but fuck it
). It was all bullshit, a LARP. Regardless, eventually, her crush on me waned. She stopped staring and smiling at me, stopped acting shy around me, we just became like regular classmates that rarely spoke with eachother. I was a little disappointed, but overall not too bothered by it. Years later I would find out her crush for me hadn't actually just "waned" by itself though. I had actually broken her heart and hurt her feelings unknowingly. She knew about the fuckboy larp stuff I was saying about her back then, and it had hurt her a lot. I also once told her fat becky neighbor that we "weren't a thing" while she was still crushing on me. She must have felt heartbroken when her neighbor told her about it, but I once again didn't mean it in a bad way. We had never referred to eachother as boyfriend and girlfriend, it was simply the blank truth again that we weren't "a thing". Another important aspect to this incident is that the way this neighbor girl, a complete stranger to me, kept trying to talk to me about my close personal relationships and private life, had simply made me uncomfortable. So uncomfortable I just said "we aren't a thing" to get her to stop grilling me with her questions about me and the girl. So to sum it all up, I fumbled the girl because of LARPing and because a fat woman talking to me made me feel uncomfortable. Right now you might be thinking, that while it is sad I missed out on wholesome teenage love over trivial shit, at least I was the one who "came out on top" as the heartbreaker. Well, 2 years later we reconnected, I fell in love with her, and then she rejected me LOL. I basically WENT OUT OF MY WAY with that shit to turn my past "victory on a technicality" into a decisive loss.And today? Today I am a 21 year old incel with volcel characteristics.
