Vermilioncore
I know what frailty is, I know what the fear is
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2019
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My girlfriend and I have been together for about 14 months. In October, she hooked up with her ex, and gave him a blowjob, and generally spent too much time at his place while I was out of town. Okay, so things happen, we argue, talk about what she felt like led to it, and what could prevent this from happening again, such as telling me about her interactions with him.
2 months later, I find that she at least on one occasion went to meet him with their son so they could do some xmas things together. Even though she had cheated with this guy, it wouldn't have been a big deal, except she didn't tell me, and in fact had lied and initially said she was alone with her son. Okay, so again, we talk, she apologizes, says she didn't know how to talk to me about it, etc. She also reaffirms that in the future, she will do s better job of informing me about their interactions and be upfront about her dealings with him.
This brings us to last week. We were together, and she gets a call which sounded odd, and pretended it was a wrong number. I could hear it was a woman, but something still felt off. It turns out it was a landlord of a new place she's moving into, but not the house sue had just signed a lease for. Due to covid19, she had opted not to move into house A, and told them such, but instead had found house B, and had given them a deposit and such to begin moving in. Since she had used the rest of her money on a deposit for house A, I asked her how she could afford this, and she said she had borrowed it from her ex. Obviously there is a lot she should have told me about there, or at least most people would have, but certainly asking her ex to let her borrow the money, at a minimum. There were even discussions between them about him helping her move.
Is there any chance here? Like, I don't want to nitpick, but she's been engaging in a pattern of lying and hiding things from me, even though I'm relatively certain nothing is going on between them based on the pretty obvious shitty messages he sends her in regards to picking up/dropping off their son as they alternate weeks for custody. Her suggestion was that we move in together, in either my place or her new one, but to me the underlying issue of her ability to tell the truth has to come before moving the relationship to another level.
If someone wanted to make this work, what is that path forward? I'd appreciate any insights or advice anyone may have.
TL;DR: My girlfriend of over a year has been caught numerous times talking to her ex, and even though the conversations are innocent enough, her lying has become a problem.
2 months later, I find that she at least on one occasion went to meet him with their son so they could do some xmas things together. Even though she had cheated with this guy, it wouldn't have been a big deal, except she didn't tell me, and in fact had lied and initially said she was alone with her son. Okay, so again, we talk, she apologizes, says she didn't know how to talk to me about it, etc. She also reaffirms that in the future, she will do s better job of informing me about their interactions and be upfront about her dealings with him.
This brings us to last week. We were together, and she gets a call which sounded odd, and pretended it was a wrong number. I could hear it was a woman, but something still felt off. It turns out it was a landlord of a new place she's moving into, but not the house sue had just signed a lease for. Due to covid19, she had opted not to move into house A, and told them such, but instead had found house B, and had given them a deposit and such to begin moving in. Since she had used the rest of her money on a deposit for house A, I asked her how she could afford this, and she said she had borrowed it from her ex. Obviously there is a lot she should have told me about there, or at least most people would have, but certainly asking her ex to let her borrow the money, at a minimum. There were even discussions between them about him helping her move.
Is there any chance here? Like, I don't want to nitpick, but she's been engaging in a pattern of lying and hiding things from me, even though I'm relatively certain nothing is going on between them based on the pretty obvious shitty messages he sends her in regards to picking up/dropping off their son as they alternate weeks for custody. Her suggestion was that we move in together, in either my place or her new one, but to me the underlying issue of her ability to tell the truth has to come before moving the relationship to another level.
If someone wanted to make this work, what is that path forward? I'd appreciate any insights or advice anyone may have.
TL;DR: My girlfriend of over a year has been caught numerous times talking to her ex, and even though the conversations are innocent enough, her lying has become a problem.
