TrueNateJacobs
I just want to be beautiful
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2025
- Posts
- 356
- Reputation
- 483
Personally I just view friendships as socialmaxxing/NTmaxxing.
Other than that they provide no real benefit, unless you’re an adult.
As a teenager I am financially carefree, and don’t need to build connections yet. My parents deal with that.
Of course I find joy in my friends but I’d be okay without them.
The reason I’m doing this, is because I find that relationships are often 50/50 in how they make you feel.
Half the time they make you happy, half the time sad.
Sometimes annoyed, sometimes relieved.
I find the constant fluctuation to be bothersome, and quite honestly, I feel like people know too much about me.
Perhaps I subconsciously don’t like feeling vulnerable,
and perhaps life is meant to be filled with fluctuations, but I’ve come to realize that I enjoy stability much more.
I like having a routine.
I like being able to rely on myself; because I think myself reliable.
Being lonely fucking sucks.
Almost more than anything.
But what sucks even more is being a joke to everyone you know.
I just don’t want to be a joke anymore.
I’d rather not be perceived.
And all of you can DNR this, call me a depressed faggot, but i dont care.
This is for the better.
I’d rather be invisible than be a clown.
I’ve been a clown my whole life.
And I’m never gonna be a clown again.
Other than that they provide no real benefit, unless you’re an adult.
As a teenager I am financially carefree, and don’t need to build connections yet. My parents deal with that.
Of course I find joy in my friends but I’d be okay without them.
The reason I’m doing this, is because I find that relationships are often 50/50 in how they make you feel.
Half the time they make you happy, half the time sad.
Sometimes annoyed, sometimes relieved.
I find the constant fluctuation to be bothersome, and quite honestly, I feel like people know too much about me.
Perhaps I subconsciously don’t like feeling vulnerable,
and perhaps life is meant to be filled with fluctuations, but I’ve come to realize that I enjoy stability much more.
I like having a routine.
I like being able to rely on myself; because I think myself reliable.
Being lonely fucking sucks.
Almost more than anything.
But what sucks even more is being a joke to everyone you know.
I just don’t want to be a joke anymore.
I’d rather not be perceived.
And all of you can DNR this, call me a depressed faggot, but i dont care.
This is for the better.
I’d rather be invisible than be a clown.
I’ve been a clown my whole life.
And I’m never gonna be a clown again.
