Gtfih i need answers

[ihateevb]

You.

The Person reading this.

Throw away that tuff outer layer and act just for this thread like only what you say matters.








Ever since growing up i had slight sadistic traits (not on some rira shit) i didnt like but tolerated the pain of others and seing blood was not realy bad for me.
i would say i always was the ugly kid, at 13 i was 170cm extremely fat and had bad hygene. I was bullied my whole life and that resulted in me being alone most of the time. Growing up now i would say things got better and im in the middle class of looks.

What also got worse are the emotions i feel, 99% of the time i dont feel anything and that comes with thinking and being hyper self aware. The other times i feel happy, not a little but genuine happiness, and i only get that feeling when i see something bleed, cry or expiriencing negative emotions.

Im aware that its taboo to lust over other peoples pain but i cant help it, also i would never hurt anyone without reason because im aware of how it affects them.

This is not to sound tuff or to get recognition but im pleading with other people that feel the same if there is anything so that i can dull those bad emotions.

 

[ihateevb]

You.

The Person reading this.

Throw away that tuff outer layer and act just for this thread like only what you say matters.








Ever since growing up i had slight sadistic traits (not on some rira shit) i didnt like but tolerated the pain of others and seing blood was not realy bad for me.
i would say i always was the ugly kid, at 13 i was 170cm extremely fat and had bad hygene. I was bullied my whole life and that resulted in me being alone most of the time. Growing up now i would say things got better and im in the middle class of looks.

What also got worse are the emotions i feel, 99% of the time i dont feel anything and that comes with thinking and being hyper self aware. The other times i feel happy, not a little but genuine happiness, and i only get that feeling when i see something bleed, cry or expiriencing negative emotions.

Im aware that its taboo to lust over other peoples pain but i cant help it, also i would never hurt anyone without reason because im aware of how it affects them.

This is not to sound tuff or to get recognition but im pleading with other people that feel the same if there is anything so that i can dull those bad emotions.

bump, i wrote this in a rush, yes i do feel emotions but very dull

 

[ihateevb]

You.

The Person reading this.

Throw away that tuff outer layer and act just for this thread like only what you say matters.








Ever since growing up i had slight sadistic traits (not on some rira shit) i didnt like but tolerated the pain of others and seing blood was not realy bad for me.
i would say i always was the ugly kid, at 13 i was 170cm extremely fat and had bad hygene. I was bullied my whole life and that resulted in me being alone most of the time. Growing up now i would say things got better and im in the middle class of looks.

What also got worse are the emotions i feel, 99% of the time i dont feel anything and that comes with thinking and being hyper self aware. The other times i feel happy, not a little but genuine happiness, and i only get that feeling when i see something bleed, cry or expiriencing negative emotions.

Im aware that its taboo to lust over other peoples pain but i cant help it, also i would never hurt anyone without reason because im aware of how it affects them.

This is not to sound tuff or to get recognition but im pleading with other people that feel the same if there is anything so that i can dull those bad emotions.

Bump

 

[Ldar09867]

You.

The Person reading this.

Throw away that tuff outer layer and act just for this thread like only what you say matters.








Ever since growing up i had slight sadistic traits (not on some rira shit) i didnt like but tolerated the pain of others and seing blood was not realy bad for me.
i would say i always was the ugly kid, at 13 i was 170cm extremely fat and had bad hygene. I was bullied my whole life and that resulted in me being alone most of the time. Growing up now i would say things got better and im in the middle class of looks.

What also got worse are the emotions i feel, 99% of the time i dont feel anything and that comes with thinking and being hyper self aware. The other times i feel happy, not a little but genuine happiness, and i only get that feeling when i see something bleed, cry or expiriencing negative emotions.

Im aware that its taboo to lust over other peoples pain but i cant help it, also i would never hurt anyone without reason because im aware of how it affects them.

This is not to sound tuff or to get recognition but im pleading with other people that feel the same if there is anything so that i can dull those bad emotions.

Heh dnr

 

[ihateevb]

Heh dnr

Read it this is not the time

 

[Ldar09867]

Read it this is not the time

summarise

 

[Scandicel]

You.

The Person reading this.

Throw away that tuff outer layer and act just for this thread like only what you say matters.








Ever since growing up i had slight sadistic traits (not on some rira shit) i didnt like but tolerated the pain of others and seing blood was not realy bad for me.
i would say i always was the ugly kid, at 13 i was 170cm extremely fat and had bad hygene. I was bullied my whole life and that resulted in me being alone most of the time. Growing up now i would say things got better and im in the middle class of looks.

What also got worse are the emotions i feel, 99% of the time i dont feel anything and that comes with thinking and being hyper self aware. The other times i feel happy, not a little but genuine happiness, and i only get that feeling when i see something bleed, cry or expiriencing negative emotions.

Im aware that its taboo to lust over other peoples pain but i cant help it, also i would never hurt anyone without reason because im aware of how it affects them.

This is not to sound tuff or to get recognition but im pleading with other people that feel the same if there is anything so that i can dull those bad emotions.

extremely psychotic

 

[Deleted member 255555]

You.

The Person reading this.

Throw away that tuff outer layer and act just for this thread like only what you say matters.








Ever since growing up i had slight sadistic traits (not on some rira shit) i didnt like but tolerated the pain of others and seing blood was not realy bad for me.
i would say i always was the ugly kid, at 13 i was 170cm extremely fat and had bad hygene. I was bullied my whole life and that resulted in me being alone most of the time. Growing up now i would say things got better and im in the middle class of looks.

What also got worse are the emotions i feel, 99% of the time i dont feel anything and that comes with thinking and being hyper self aware. The other times i feel happy, not a little but genuine happiness, and i only get that feeling when i see something bleed, cry or expiriencing negative emotions.

Im aware that its taboo to lust over other peoples pain but i cant help it, also i would never hurt anyone without reason because im aware of how it affects them.

This is not to sound tuff or to get recognition but im pleading with other people that feel the same if there is anything so that i can dull those bad emotions.

Having fun with friends and looksmaxxing help me I used to be the same with no emotion

 

[eon]

DNR

 

[Euron]

u good? also u might try finding friends so u can get distracted from the negative stuff. other solutions r like going to the gym, focusing on stuff u like n such. Also its better to tell smb what happens around u n w u, not to keep it only to urself. if u dont know who u can talk to u can hit me up in the dms

 

[ihateevb]

extremely psychotic

Are there any drugs thst could help and arent toxic

 

[ihateevb]

DNR

W avi nigger response

 

[ihateevb]

Having fun with friends and looksmaxxing help me I used to be the same with no emotion

I cant talk to people because they anger me, they are mostly useless

 

[ihateevb]

u good? also u might try finding friends so u can get distracted from the negative stuff. other solutions r like going to the gym, focusing on stuff u like n such. Also its better to tell smb what happens around u n w u, not to keep it only to urself. if u dont know who u can talk to u can hit me up in the dms

Gym and all that shit doesent matter, and i despise normies

 

[Deleted member 255555]

I cant talk to people because they anger me, they are mostly useless

Looksmax then looking better made me happy

 

[Euron]

Gym and all that shit doesent matter, and i despise normies

don't know what to tell u then

 

[ihateevb]

don't know what to tell u then

i need some fixes or hobbies that i can practise alone

 

[ihateevb]

Looksmax then looking better made me happy

Im gaining knowledge right now so i can ascend mid year

 

[GonorrhoeaGobbler]

same brah but on some rira shit fr

just live with it don't be ashamed of your true self

 

[donpuro]

You might have some sort of autism

Go to a professional

 

[NVM_Ignacio]

You.

The Person reading this.

Throw away that tuff outer layer and act just for this thread like only what you say matters.








Ever since growing up i had slight sadistic traits (not on some rira shit) i didnt like but tolerated the pain of others and seing blood was not realy bad for me.
i would say i always was the ugly kid, at 13 i was 170cm extremely fat and had bad hygene. I was bullied my whole life and that resulted in me being alone most of the time. Growing up now i would say things got better and im in the middle class of looks.

What also got worse are the emotions i feel, 99% of the time i dont feel anything and that comes with thinking and being hyper self aware. The other times i feel happy, not a little but genuine happiness, and i only get that feeling when i see something bleed, cry or expiriencing negative emotions.

Im aware that its taboo to lust over other peoples pain but i cant help it, also i would never hurt anyone without reason because im aware of how it affects them.

This is not to sound tuff or to get recognition but im pleading with other people that feel the same if there is anything so that i can dull those bad emotions.

Everything points out youre a freak nigger

 

[Euron]

i need some fixes or hobbies that i can practise alone

focusing on stuff u like n such

whenever i didn't want to talk to anybody or had smth that I wanted to say I used to draw. it kept me out of reality. if u r not into art u might find smth else

 

[ihateevb]

same brah but on some rira shit fr

just live with it don't be ashamed of your true self

I dont want to be looked at weird from normies or looked at like a zoo animal

 

[ihateevb]

You might have some sort of autism

Go to a professional

I already have autism, im also a little sadistic and i am a scizo

 

[Sacrimoon]

Id talk to a therapist about that and not .org

 

[ihateevb]

Everything points out youre a freak nigger

Your a freak look at all that makeup you got on

 

[ihateevb]

whenever i didn't want to talk to anybody or had smth that I wanted to say I used to draw. it kept me out of reality. if u r not into art u might find smth else

I could try drawing thanks

 

[ihateevb]

Id talk to a therapist about that and not .org

They treat me like a experiment

 

[donpuro]

I already have autism, im also a little sadistic and i am a scizo

Are you diagnosed?

Have you discussed these thoughts you are having with a professional?

Seems like you are just self diagnosing yourself.

 

[willysucker]

do you take any meds?
do you already go to a doctor?
have you been diagnosed before?
how old are you?

 

[GonorrhoeaGobbler]

I dont want to be looked at weird from normies or looked at like a zoo animal

then act normal you don't need to grinning like a weirdo when you enjoy it

 

[ihateevb]

then act normal you don't need to grinning like a weirdo when you enjoy it

View attachment 4553572

Hahah no i dont smile, its not like i get inro a giggly mood idk how to explain it

 

[Histy]

You.

The Person reading this.

Throw away that tuff outer layer and act just for this thread like only what you say matters.








Ever since growing up i had slight sadistic traits (not on some rira shit) i didnt like but tolerated the pain of others and seing blood was not realy bad for me.
i would say i always was the ugly kid, at 13 i was 170cm extremely fat and had bad hygene. I was bullied my whole life and that resulted in me being alone most of the time. Growing up now i would say things got better and im in the middle class of looks.

What also got worse are the emotions i feel, 99% of the time i dont feel anything and that comes with thinking and being hyper self aware. The other times i feel happy, not a little but genuine happiness, and i only get that feeling when i see something bleed, cry or expiriencing negative emotions.

Im aware that its taboo to lust over other peoples pain but i cant help it, also i would never hurt anyone without reason because im aware of how it affects them.

This is not to sound tuff or to get recognition but im pleading with other people that feel the same if there is anything so that i can dull those bad emotions.

I'm sure you didn't suffer only from bullying.
There must be something bigger than that which caused this lust over seeing others bleed , cry or experiencing negative emotions

 

[ihateevb]

do you take any meds?
do you already go to a doctor?
have you been diagnosed before?
how old are you?

I have been diagnosed with autism and adhd i dont tske meds and im 16

 

[Sacrimoon]

They treat me like a experiment

I mean that’s kinda what you are. But it is possible to feel cared about by therapists, a lot of them are just careless

 

[GonorrhoeaGobbler]

Hahah no i dont smile, its not like i get inro a giggly mood idk how to explain it

yeah just fake your outward emotions

 

[ihateevb]

I'm sure you didn't suffer only from bullying.
There must be something bigger than that which caused this lust over seeing others bleed , cry or experiencing negative emotions

Idk i also got raped at a pretty young age

 

[ihateevb]

Are you diagnosed?

Have you discussed these thoughts you are having with a professional?

Seems like you are just self diagnosing yourself.

You have to self diagnose to get a real diagnosis, a real doctor said i have autism

 

[ihateevb]

yeah just fake your outward emotions

I already do an i sometimes overshoot and i seem like a jester

 

[GonorrhoeaGobbler]

I already do an i sometimes overshoot and i seem like a jester

get better practice in the mirror and film yourself

 

[donpuro]

Idk i also got raped at a pretty young age

Yeah okay lil nigga you are just larping and want attention

No one’s raping your ugly ass

Who was the unlucky individual

You have to self diagnose to get a real diagnosis, a real doctor said i have autism

 

[4Christ_sake]

That’s all you ngl

 

[ihateevb]

Yeah okay lil nigga you are just larping and want attention

No one’s raping your ugly ass

Who was the unlucky individual

U got raped at 8 by the daughter of one of my momes friends, idc if you say im larping even if i get one good response it will matter more than your response

 

[willysucker]

I have been diagnosed with autism and adhd i dont tske meds and im 16

this may not be "pure sadism" then, it's probably "hypo-arousal".
Because your brain is under-stimulated, it seeks out the most "high-voltage" emotional stimulus possible to feel alive. Blood and pain are "high-voltage" signals.
You should probably hop on adhd meds, by chemically raising the baseline of dopamine, the brain stops starving for extreme shocks to feel happy.

​

 

[ihateevb]

get better practice in the mirror and film yourself

Will try thanks, also is looking at interviews of models talking to women cope, like if i try to act like them

 

[ihateevb]

this may not be "pure sadism" then, it's probably "hypo-arousal".
Because your brain is under-stimulated, it seeks out the most "high-voltage" emotional stimulus possible to feel alive. Blood and pain are "high-voltage" signals.
You should probably hop on adhd meds, by chemically raising the baseline of dopamine, the brain stops starving for extreme shocks to feel happy.

​

Thanks im looking into this realy man

 

[ihateevb]

Yeah okay lil nigga you are just larping and want attention

No one’s raping your ugly ass

Who was the unlucky individual

I didnt get raped in the way of getting sucked off or something i got things inserted

 

[GonorrhoeaGobbler]

Will try thanks, also is looking at interviews of models talking to women cope, like if i try to act like them

yeah study how charismatic men move and talk like serial killers, politicians and actors

 

[Histy]

Idk i also got raped at a pretty young age

Makes sense tbh

 

[ihateevb]

yeah study how charismatic men move and talk like serial killers, politicians and actors

OK ok got it