RealFunkyFlamingo
Bloat like a Flamingo, sting like a Bee
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2023
- Posts
- 18,237
- Reputation
- 15,350
Holy fuck I was so depressed today I almost wanted to cry about my whole life. I have had more episodes of depression before, but this one takes the whole damn CAKE. I look depressed, I behave depressed. And it did not help when today I tried to cure my depression by joining in a conversation with a group of my student mates, after which they just ignored my existence. For example, I asked a question to my mate next to me in the group and he loterally went on with another subject with his friend in our group. As if I did not exist. And u might think this is accidental, maybe my voice was not loud or dominant enough. But it keot happening for at least 8 times during the day. The pattern became clear. I am a fucking loser. And the guy who ignored is an actual SUB5. He is short fat and very bad hairline with disastrous eye area. He is like 2/10. This made me furious, i wanted to punch him in the face but I might risk my future with that dumb action. So I just stopped trying to join group convo. And just went on my laptop and phone trying to finish assignments. This is weird cuz in my class the girls are always kind to me and become nervous when I join them or try to talk to them, but the guys literally ignore my exitence altogether, laugh at me, make sometimes jokes of me (I try to laugh it off) and all in all it just seems they do not accept me for who I am. They just dont feel comfortable conversating with me. There is one dude who is chill and actually talks to me. But that is his personality he is chill with everyone.
During the rest of the day I just was tired of everything. Of socialising/ trying to socialize. In the public transport back to home I just was daydream g and didnt do anything just looking away and posting rate me threads in this forum which was a bad idea, cuz everyone keeps rating me low. I am a kind person and I look decent I do not know why people are so mean towards me. Is it cuz I am ethnic in a white country? Is it because my nose job is obvious? Who knows. All I know is that I am severely depressed and do not wanna do anything anymore and just sleep and work my parttime job which does not include socializing. My autism is the root for all this. I fucking hate this. Fate does not like me, it despises me. All I can do is fight. But will it ever be enough?
@Tigermoggerlol @1blameclavicular @glorytonetanyahu @Blackpillirony @Glorious King
During the rest of the day I just was tired of everything. Of socialising/ trying to socialize. In the public transport back to home I just was daydream g and didnt do anything just looking away and posting rate me threads in this forum which was a bad idea, cuz everyone keeps rating me low. I am a kind person and I look decent I do not know why people are so mean towards me. Is it cuz I am ethnic in a white country? Is it because my nose job is obvious? Who knows. All I know is that I am severely depressed and do not wanna do anything anymore and just sleep and work my parttime job which does not include socializing. My autism is the root for all this. I fucking hate this. Fate does not like me, it despises me. All I can do is fight. But will it ever be enough?
@Tigermoggerlol @1blameclavicular @glorytonetanyahu @Blackpillirony @Glorious King
