Nazi Germany
Zubeer Adolf Hipster - KVAZAR MOLOCH
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2024
- Posts
- 1,482
- Reputation
- 4,238
(Stands at attention, wearing a mismatched uniform of what appears to be a Polish army surplus jacket, a Finnish winter hat with earflaps, and mismatched North Korean military trousers, clutching a rusty spork like a ceremonial dagger)
COMRADES! HAPPY 2025! OR AS WE SAY IN THE GLORIOUS PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF… uh….. …THE UNITED FEDERATED SOCIALIST REPUBLIC OF… mumbles …EARTH! YES! EARTH!
(Snaps to attention again, nearly poking an eye out with the spork)
Another year has passed! Another 365 glorious days of checks notepad again of indecipherable scribbles, possibly ancient Sumerian cuneiform mixed with doodles of cats wearing ushankas of maintaining optimal cabbage fermentation levels! YES! FERMENTATION! A KEYSTONE OF OUR OUR STRATEGIC PICKLING DOCTRINE!
(Begins pacing, kicking imaginary landmines)
(Stops pacing, points dramatically with the spork)
(Starts doing a bizarre goose-step, occasionally tripping over his own feet)
@BigJimsWornOutTires ill-fitting spectacles perched precariously on his nose. He wears a stained lab coat over a mismatched ensemble of plaid pajamas and rubber boots, clutching a heavily annotated ledger.)
DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES! We convene this quadrennial convocation to mark the commencement of the annum 2025 CE, or, as it is designated within the codified nomenclature of the Provisional p Republic (PPR), the commencement of Fiscal Cycle 25-Alpha.
(Clears throat, tapping the ledger with a gnarled finger.)
The preceding 365 diurnal rotations of the terrestrial sphere have presented both unique challenges and unprecedented opportunities within the dynamic landscape of tuber-centric socio-economics. Our primary focus during this period has been the optimization of… consults the ledger, squinting through his spectacles… the Strategic Starch Allocation Protocols (SSAP), a crucial element of our overarching National Tuber Sustainability Initiative (NTSI).
(Executes a precise 90-degree turn, nearly losing his balance.)
It has come to our attention that certain… adopts a tone of grave concern… external actors, specifically designated as “Sciuridae Operatives” within our intelligence briefings, have engaged in activities detrimental to the stability of our… flips a page in the ledger… National Sunflower Seed Reserve (NSSR). This constitutes a potential threat to our… adjusts spectacles again… National Sunflower Seed-Dependent Industries (NSSDI), a sector of considerable import to the overall stability of the PPR economy. Contingency Plan “Rodent Retrieval,” involving the deployment of trained… consults a hastily scribbled note tucked within the ledger… dachshund units, has been activated.
(Pauses for dramatic effect, tapping the ledger rhythmically.)
Let us not forget the Tuber Crisis of '23, a period of significant… underlines a passage in the ledger with a stubby pencil… “negative tuber yield variance.” We remain vigilant against the recurrence of such… shudders perceptibly “suboptimal carbohydrate availability.” Our objective remains the achievement of… consults a complex graph drawn on a napkin tucked within the ledger… Maximum Tuber Output per Hectare (MTOpH), a key performance indicator within the PPR’s agricultural sector.
(Begins pacing methodically behind the podium, clutching the ledger tightly.)
In conclusion, colleagues, I urge you to maintain a focus on… consults the ledger one last time… Tuber-Related Productivity and Efficiency (TRPE). May Fiscal Cycle 25-Alpha be a period of… pauses, searching for the appropriate term… “optimal tuber abundance.”
(Closes the ledger with a decisive snap, bows stiffly, and then promptly trips over a stray potato, scattering documents across the makeshift stage.) But I don't know What I am talking about nor you because You can't comprehend with base model brain. Anyway HAPPY 2025
COMRADES! HAPPY 2025! OR AS WE SAY IN THE GLORIOUS PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF… uh….. …THE UNITED FEDERATED SOCIALIST REPUBLIC OF… mumbles …EARTH! YES! EARTH!
(Snaps to attention again, nearly poking an eye out with the spork)
Another year has passed! Another 365 glorious days of checks notepad again of indecipherable scribbles, possibly ancient Sumerian cuneiform mixed with doodles of cats wearing ushankas of maintaining optimal cabbage fermentation levels! YES! FERMENTATION! A KEYSTONE OF OUR OUR STRATEGIC PICKLING DOCTRINE!
(Begins pacing, kicking imaginary landmines)
(Stops pacing, points dramatically with the spork)
(Starts doing a bizarre goose-step, occasionally tripping over his own feet)
@BigJimsWornOutTires ill-fitting spectacles perched precariously on his nose. He wears a stained lab coat over a mismatched ensemble of plaid pajamas and rubber boots, clutching a heavily annotated ledger.)
DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES! We convene this quadrennial convocation to mark the commencement of the annum 2025 CE, or, as it is designated within the codified nomenclature of the Provisional p Republic (PPR), the commencement of Fiscal Cycle 25-Alpha.
(Clears throat, tapping the ledger with a gnarled finger.)
The preceding 365 diurnal rotations of the terrestrial sphere have presented both unique challenges and unprecedented opportunities within the dynamic landscape of tuber-centric socio-economics. Our primary focus during this period has been the optimization of… consults the ledger, squinting through his spectacles… the Strategic Starch Allocation Protocols (SSAP), a crucial element of our overarching National Tuber Sustainability Initiative (NTSI).
(Executes a precise 90-degree turn, nearly losing his balance.)
It has come to our attention that certain… adopts a tone of grave concern… external actors, specifically designated as “Sciuridae Operatives” within our intelligence briefings, have engaged in activities detrimental to the stability of our… flips a page in the ledger… National Sunflower Seed Reserve (NSSR). This constitutes a potential threat to our… adjusts spectacles again… National Sunflower Seed-Dependent Industries (NSSDI), a sector of considerable import to the overall stability of the PPR economy. Contingency Plan “Rodent Retrieval,” involving the deployment of trained… consults a hastily scribbled note tucked within the ledger… dachshund units, has been activated.
(Pauses for dramatic effect, tapping the ledger rhythmically.)
Let us not forget the Tuber Crisis of '23, a period of significant… underlines a passage in the ledger with a stubby pencil… “negative tuber yield variance.” We remain vigilant against the recurrence of such… shudders perceptibly “suboptimal carbohydrate availability.” Our objective remains the achievement of… consults a complex graph drawn on a napkin tucked within the ledger… Maximum Tuber Output per Hectare (MTOpH), a key performance indicator within the PPR’s agricultural sector.
(Begins pacing methodically behind the podium, clutching the ledger tightly.)
In conclusion, colleagues, I urge you to maintain a focus on… consults the ledger one last time… Tuber-Related Productivity and Efficiency (TRPE). May Fiscal Cycle 25-Alpha be a period of… pauses, searching for the appropriate term… “optimal tuber abundance.”
(Closes the ledger with a decisive snap, bows stiffly, and then promptly trips over a stray potato, scattering documents across the makeshift stage.) But I don't know What I am talking about nor you because You can't comprehend with base model brain. Anyway HAPPY 2025
, can you shoot up some potato pickles to my 
