Hey, I wanna be able to look at myself without losing my smile.

[it'sRawby]

I'm from colombia so sorry if my English isn't the best. Or if i use different metrics. I'm currently 21 years old and I've been fat my whole life. My family is fat too except for my brother, he's from a different father thanks to mom and he's in shape from freaking born. I've saw him eating tons of food weekly and he still has abs without hitting the gym more than once in a month when my cousin ask him. I'm not gonna lie, I'm jealous. I've never been in a relationship, the last time I asked a girl for her Instagram she gave it to me just to ghost me, not even answered the first message. My brother had two girlfriends already and lots of friends while my only few friends don't even bother to ask me to come out with them in holidays. I'm tired of trying to hit the gym without any clear results, I'm tried of my constant lack of discipline. So, I need to ask you all for advices to get in shape. I don't even want a girlfriend anymore, I give up when that girl ghosted me. It's not for me, I'm ugly, fat, and not even that tall (182cm). I just want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and smile without two grease balls on my cheeks and a second chin. Please give me any advice you can, seriously, I'm just tired of being me. I want to be a normal person who can fit into clothes that aren't XL without a belly shaping my shirt once I sit.