how do i stop derealization?

[alriodai]

feeling disconnected, has anybody went thru this?

 

[ey88]

Yes it happened to me

Literally just stop stressing and know it will go away soon, it’s just in your mind

Once I stopped worrying about it it went away

 

[alriodai]

Yes it happened to me

Literally just stop stressing and know it will go away soon, it’s just in your mind

Once I stopped worrying about it it went away

yeah i know but i think i got blackpilled at such young age, combine this with childhood trauma that my brain coped into maladaptive daydreaming which went to derealization, this made me procrastinate about many things and im just in a state of derealization
i keep try to be mindful about myself and aware that i am real i exist and i am me and i can do wtf i want but then i derealiz again in 5-10 minutes

 

[ElTruecel]

I like it idk why people hate it

 

[alriodai]

I like it idk why people hate it

i hate it because i am having more responsabilities i need to take care of in life, it makes me procrastinat eand make my brain cope which i don't need, its good when ur in high school or middle school, not now

 

[HighLtn]

feeling disconnected, has anybody went thru this?

Had derealizations for a long time but its just ur mind trust me. Dont go to therapy or do some other bullshit, its only ur mind, tell urself ure a pussy when u have one and someday it wont happen anymore

 

[alriodai]

Had derealizations for a long time but its just ur mind trust me. Dont go to therapy or do some other bullshit, its only ur mind, tell urself ure a pussy when u have one and someday it wont happen anymore

thats how i do it thing is its just a temporary solution and ur brain is so used to derealize that it does it again without u notice it till u notice u been doing it for an hour or two

 

[Slayer]

immerse yourself in something dangerous that demands your immediate physical attention at all times (high stress physical job, contact sports, motorcycles)

your brain cannot ruminate on gay shit like muh purpose muh goals while your well being is threatened

 

[OnlyWs]

Yes I experienced it last year and overcame it.
Derealization is a symptom of anxiety.

You’ve probably heard of fight and flight but there is also the FREEZE response.

This happens when the brain believes there the perceived threat cannot be fought off or ran away from so it disconnects the person from their body to minimise pain.

When a tiger has its prey by the neck and death is unavoidable, you will see the animal goes limp before it dies. The animals brain is “disconnecting” it from the present in order to minimise the pain it’s going through.

So what’s the solution? Well there are acutally 2.

The first is the long term solution.

Why are you feeling like this? Are you facing chihallenges in dating, work that you aren’t making any progress in but simultaneously are frustrated by your current situation?

You need to figure out what your problems are. For most people they will be 1) money 2) relationships 3) happiness 4) status/confidence feelings.

Then you need to figure out why you are not able to achieve these things. It’s likely due to trauma/ emotional repression that a psychologist (not a therapist) that specialises in this area can help you with. Best money I’ve ever spent.

Second, the short term solution. How can you overcome Derealization in the present moment? You need to ground yourself back to reality.

Here is a simple 3 step process to follow:
1) tell yourself you are safe, you are okay and these feelings are just anxiety
2) relax your body. Breathe out, let your shoulders drop.
3) decide to something, anything and do it. This is most important step. You can make a sandwich or play a game or even better take a step to solve your problems like booking a session with a doctor.

The last step is especially important because energy folllows attention. The biggest mistake I made was sitting around trying to solve my anxiety. This just made me even more aware of my mental state which puts you even more in your head and makes you anxious of being anxious. So decide to do something. Doing somehting gives you back control, fires positive neuro-chemicals in your head and doesn’t fuel the anxiety fire.

Also I went on and am still on antidepressants which definitely helped as well, consider talking to a doc about this.

Also last year I didn’t even know I was anxious or depressed my emtions were so repressed and I was so bottled up, so if you don’t think your anxious consider you might be so anxious your afraid to admit it to yourself.

Hope this helps!

 

[alriodai]

immerse yourself in something dangerous that demands your immediate physical attention at all times (high stress physical job, contact sports, motorcycles)

your brain cannot ruminate on gay shit like muh purpose muh goals while your well being is threatened

yea that's what i'm doing currently, it helps a bit but it's not the full solution, as the reason im derealizing is because of high stress shit in the first place, it gives me anxiety so my brain copes by doing this, but thing is deraelizing makes me not do the job fully which makes me more anxious and deraelize more, so its a cycle

Yes I experienced it last year and overcame it.
Derealization is a symptom of anxiety.

You’ve probably heard of fight and flight but there is also the FREEZE response.

This happens when the brain believes there the perceived threat cannot be fought off or ran away from so it disconnects the person from their body to minimise pain.

When a tiger has its prey by the neck and death is unavoidable, you will see the animal goes limp before it dies. The animals brain is “disconnecting” it from the present in order to minimise the pain it’s going through.

So what’s the solution? Well there are acutally 2.

The first is the long term solution.

Why are you feeling like this? Are you facing chihallenges in dating, work that you aren’t making any progress in but simultaneously are frustrated by your current situation?

You need to figure out what your problems are. For most people they will be 1) money 2) relationships 3) happiness 4) status/confidence feelings.

Then you need to figure out why you are not able to achieve these things. It’s likely due to trauma/ emotional repression that a psychologist (not a therapist) that specialises in this area can help you with. Best money I’ve ever spent.

Second, the short term solution. How can you overcome Derealization in the present moment? You need to ground yourself back to reality.

Here is a simple 3 step process to follow:
1) tell yourself you are safe, you are okay and these feelings are just anxiety
2) relax your body. Breathe out, let your shoulders drop.
3) decide to something, anything and do it. This is most important step. You can make a sandwich or play a game or even better take a step to solve your problems like booking a session with a doctor.

The last step is especially important because energy folllows attention. The biggest mistake I made was sitting around trying to solve my anxiety. This just made me even more aware of my mental state which puts you even more in your head and makes you anxious of being anxious. So decide to do something. Doing somehting gives you back control, fires positive neuro-chemicals in your head and doesn’t fuel the anxiety fire.

Also I went on and am still on antidepressants which definitely helped as well, consider talking to a doc about this.

Also last year I didn’t even know I was anxious or depressed my emtions were so repressed and I was so bottled up, so if you don’t think your anxious consider you might be so anxious your afraid to admit it to yourself.

Hope this helps!

this could be one of the best thing i read in this forum
so basically i've bne doing the first solution without nkowing it, i know what my problems are: i have trauma from my parents where im so scared to disappoint them and whenevre they're with the huose in me i fele i can't do anything without them judging me or hurting me mentally, whenever i was alone in the house for few weeks i felt more happier productive, i went to the gym everyday, worked harder, i didn't feel any pressure, so my plan is to mak emoney and gtfo from my parnets house to finally stop all this bullshit

the second short term solution is one i've been doing to keep working to make more monye to gtfo
also i relate to everything you said so far, i need to go get a doctor and talk about everything

 

[alriodai]

@OnlyWs have you ever had a warped view of time? what i mean by this is that you feel you can't do this or that because you think it will take you much time and ruin your day (which isn't the case) and you end up doing just nothing which just end up ruining your day anyway?

 

[OnlyWs]

yea that's what i'm doing currently, it helps a bit but it's not the full solution, as the reason im derealizing is because of high stress shit in the first place, it gives me anxiety so my brain copes by doing this, but thing is deraelizing makes me not do the job fully which makes me more anxious and deraelize more, so its a cycle

this could be one of the best thing i read in this forum
so basically i've bne doing the first solution without nkowing it, i know what my problems are: i have trauma from my parents where im so scared to disappoint them and whenevre they're with the huose in me i fele i can't do anything without them judging me or hurting me mentally, whenever i was alone in the house for few weeks i felt more happier productive, i went to the gym everyday, worked harder, i didn't feel any pressure, so my plan is to mak emoney and gtfo from my parnets house to finally stop all this bullshit

the second short term solution is one i've been doing to keep working to make more monye to gtfo
also i relate to everything you said so far, i need to go get a doctor and talk about everything

Glad it’s helpful.

I relate to what your saying in terms of being more stressed around your parents. My parents are quite anxious/neurotic people so there’s always been a lot of extra tension in the house which definitely makes me more stressed when I’m there.

My parents don’t deal well with negative emotion (as neurotics typically don’t) which led to them coping in various ways when my siblings and I displayed it.

My mother would ignore it and stay (toxically) positive and my Dad would ignore it and stay doing his own thing.

This teaches a child it’s pointless to display sadness, anxiety etc because the caregiver either ignores them or punishes them in severe cases for displaying this emotion.

The parent never teaches the child how to process their negative emotions through awareness and taking action (because the parent themselves don’t know) and instead teaches them to ignore their emotions (avoid).

Which leads to a build up of negative emotion due to avoidance through distraction (porn, YouTube, fantasy of success and power or whatever etc).

This passive approach to negative emotion rather than actively taking action to solve the problems and reduce the negative emotion teaches the brain it’s pointless to try, and therefore disconnecting is the logical solution.

For what it’s worth it can change but it takes a lot of time and effort and you need to be committed but it’s very possible to change your brains wiring in relation to this. Moving out when you can will be helpful but don’t let it be a big obstacle that stops you from making progress in the meantime.

 

[OnlyWs]

@OnlyWs have you ever had a warped view of time? what i mean by this is that you feel you can't do this or that because you think it will take you much time and ruin your day (which isn't the case) and you end up doing just nothing which just end up ruining your day anyway?

I haven’t had this particular thought but yes I have had this thought pattern. This thought pattern is your brain coping with procrastination.

It’s the equivalent of it giving you a pain medication to make the pain of avoiding your tasks less.

It happens when the brain knows it needs to take action to achieve an objective but also believes that taking action is pointless (because emotionally repressed people often start things and give up due to not knowing how to deal with negative emotion of rejection romantically, failure in business etc)

So it comes up with this cope to soothe the pain.

Telling you it’s pointless to try, just like it’s pointless for a deer to try to escape the jaws of a tiger.

 

[slavicpsycho]

Caused by drug consumption
AND caffeine, prescriptions, and nootropics are all drugs

 

[alriodai]

Glad it’s helpful.

I relate to what your saying in terms of being more stressed around your parents. My parents are quite anxious/neurotic people so there’s always been a lot of extra tension in the house which definitely makes me more stressed when I’m there.

My parents don’t deal well with negative emotion (as neurotics typically don’t) which led to them coping in various ways when my siblings and I displayed it.

My mother would ignore it and stay (toxically) positive and my Dad would ignore it and stay doing his own thing.

This teaches a child it’s pointless to display sadness, anxiety etc because the caregiver either ignores them or punishes them in severe cases for displaying this emotion.

The parent never teaches the child how to process their negative emotions through awareness and taking action (because the parent themselves don’t know) and instead teaches them to ignore their emotions (avoid).

Which leads to a build up of negative emotion due to avoidance through distraction (porn, YouTube, fantasy of success and power or whatever etc).

This passive approach to negative emotion rather than actively taking action to solve the problems and reduce the negative emotion teaches the brain it’s pointless to try, and therefore disconnecting is the logical solution.

For what it’s worth it can change but it takes a lot of time and effort and you need to be committed but it’s very possible to change your brains wiring in relation to this. Moving out when you can will be helpful but don’t let it be a big obstacle that stops you from making progress in the meantime.

Are you saying that something that can help me alot will be moving out and living alone, disconnecting from the people that makes the negative emotions pop up?

I haven’t had this particular thought but yes I have had this thought pattern. This thought pattern is your brain coping with procrastination.

It’s the equivalent of it giving you a pain medication to make the pain of avoiding your tasks less.

It happens when the brain knows it needs to take action to achieve an objective but also believes that taking action is pointless (because emotionally repressed people often start things and give up due to not knowing how to deal with negative emotion of rejection romantically, failure in business etc)

So it comes up with this cope to soothe the pain.

Telling you it’s pointless to try, just like it’s pointless for a deer to try to escape the jaws of a tiger.

This is exactly what happens, althought for me I actually got romantically rejected and failed in business before but failure just makes me think it's not worth it in the long term and where I stop doing things ('although lately I've been actually working on it more and it improved but not significally)

Caused by drug consumption
AND caffeine, prescriptions, and nootropics are all drugs

I never took drugs, never drink coffee, I don't take medication too

 

[slavicpsycho]

Are you saying that something that can help me alot will be moving out and living alone, disconnecting from the people that makes the negative emotions pop up?

This is exactly what happens, althought for me I actually got romantically rejected and failed in business before but failure just makes me think it's not worth it in the long term and where I stop doing things ('although lately I've been actually working on it more and it improved but not significally)

I never took drugs, never drink coffee, I don't take medication too

Allergy meds? Even those can cause it

 

[alriodai]

Allergy meds? Even those can cause it

I promise to you I take nothing at all, literally nothing, I only take Vitamin C and Tret for skincare (I doubt that's relevant)

 

[slavicpsycho]

I promise to you I take nothing at all, literally nothing, I only take Vitamin C and Tret for skincare (I doubt that's relevant)

Tret

 

[meropeu]

feeling disconnected, has anybody went thru this?

Delete your account, everyone ascended after that

 

[iblamechico]

Can you explain what exactly derealization is?

 

[alriodai]

Can you explain what exactly derealization is?

you disconnect from your reality at all, you don't feel like you're actually living anymore, it's hard to explain in my case, you feel like you're a non-important character in your own life, you don't even feel like there's free will in your case, tbh

 

[iblamechico]

you disconnect from your reality at all, you don't feel like you're actually living anymore, it's hard to explain in my case, you feel like you're a non-important character in your own life, you don't even feel like there's free will in your case, tbh

I don't get it. I mean

non-important character in your own life, you don't even feel like there's free will in your case,

I feel this way i guess, like I can do things but I just don't, I have no motivation to do anything. but it's the "detachment" part that I don't really get.