kurd
kurd
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2023
- Posts
- 1,368
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First of all, just putting this out there
I’m an introvert. I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I overthink everything what people say, what I say, how I act. Around 3 years ago, I was constantly made fun of for being quiet. I wouldn’t talk unless I really knew someone and when I did, I’d talk a lot.
That messed things up for me. Sometimes I’d be out with close friends, and when their friends showed up, I wouldn’t dap them up, wouldn’t even say “what’s up.” When we walked somewhere together, I’d just stay silent.
I hated that. I wanted to fix it.
So what did I do? I forced myself out of it. No meds. No shortcuts. Just effort. This is a mental thing, and I treated it like that.
I took two internships, started going out more, and pushed myself to talk to people. Even if I didn’t know them, I’d say what’s up. From there, I’d start small talk. If I felt like they weren’t vibing, I’d stop. Not everyone’s chill. You’ll figure that out quickly. But the key is you have to force yourself to talk.
Watching movies and shows helped me too. You can pick up how people interact, how they talk to strangers. You can lowkey copy that in your own life. Just observe and adapt. That’s what most “normies” do without thinking.
Talking to people my age is the easiest. For example today I went to a shop with a friend to grab a Coke and some chips. I walked in, saw the guy at the counter, and said, “Hey, what’s up? Where are the potato chips at, bro?” He pointed them out, and I said “Aight, thanks.”
He laughed and said, “Yeah these aren’t like Lays,” and he was right. It was mostly Cheetos, Takis, and some Nigger brands. I noticed the Suriname flag and said, “Haha, this is what all the Surinamese people eat, right?” He laughed and said, “Yeah.”
I asked what he recommends. He said he likes Takis but has another kind of chips under the counter that he always eats. I looked and said, “Yeah I’m not really a fan of cheese balls,” smiling. He said, “Ah, no worries.” I said, “Thanks though, appreciate it, man.”
I grabbed some Cheetos, walked up to the counter and said, “Yeah I’ll just be getting these.” He was calculating prices on his phone, and I joked, “Damn, still using calculators?” He laughed and explained the cashier was closed at night. I said, “Ah I see, latenight shift grind huh?” He said, “Yeah, 4 nights a week.” I told him, “That’s good man, keep it up.”
Paid, got my chips, and said, “Appreciate it dude, have a good night.”
Now when it comes to adults it’s a lot harder.
Most of them only care about politics or their job field. I don’t talk to adults much unless I’m at work and have no choice.
What I do is start simple. Like, “Hey, how was your weekend?” Then I just follow up with questions about what they did, and try to build a little convo from there. Sometimes, you have to stretch it a bit. If they say, “Yeah, I went to a car race,” you can say, “Oh really? I went to one a few days ago too.” Even if you didn’t. Just makes it more relatable.
That’s really it.
Just force yourself to go out there and try. Get a job, join a sport, anything that pushes you outside and into conversations.
Quick tip: When someone asks you a question like “How was your weekend?”don’t just answer. Say, “It was good, how about you?” Always throw the question back. Doesn’t matter what it is if it’s meant to be social, keep it going.
I’m an introvert. I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I overthink everything what people say, what I say, how I act. Around 3 years ago, I was constantly made fun of for being quiet. I wouldn’t talk unless I really knew someone and when I did, I’d talk a lot.
That messed things up for me. Sometimes I’d be out with close friends, and when their friends showed up, I wouldn’t dap them up, wouldn’t even say “what’s up.” When we walked somewhere together, I’d just stay silent.
I hated that. I wanted to fix it.
So what did I do? I forced myself out of it. No meds. No shortcuts. Just effort. This is a mental thing, and I treated it like that.
I took two internships, started going out more, and pushed myself to talk to people. Even if I didn’t know them, I’d say what’s up. From there, I’d start small talk. If I felt like they weren’t vibing, I’d stop. Not everyone’s chill. You’ll figure that out quickly. But the key is you have to force yourself to talk.
Watching movies and shows helped me too. You can pick up how people interact, how they talk to strangers. You can lowkey copy that in your own life. Just observe and adapt. That’s what most “normies” do without thinking.
Talking to people my age is the easiest. For example today I went to a shop with a friend to grab a Coke and some chips. I walked in, saw the guy at the counter, and said, “Hey, what’s up? Where are the potato chips at, bro?” He pointed them out, and I said “Aight, thanks.”
He laughed and said, “Yeah these aren’t like Lays,” and he was right. It was mostly Cheetos, Takis, and some Nigger brands. I noticed the Suriname flag and said, “Haha, this is what all the Surinamese people eat, right?” He laughed and said, “Yeah.”
I asked what he recommends. He said he likes Takis but has another kind of chips under the counter that he always eats. I looked and said, “Yeah I’m not really a fan of cheese balls,” smiling. He said, “Ah, no worries.” I said, “Thanks though, appreciate it, man.”
I grabbed some Cheetos, walked up to the counter and said, “Yeah I’ll just be getting these.” He was calculating prices on his phone, and I joked, “Damn, still using calculators?” He laughed and explained the cashier was closed at night. I said, “Ah I see, latenight shift grind huh?” He said, “Yeah, 4 nights a week.” I told him, “That’s good man, keep it up.”
Paid, got my chips, and said, “Appreciate it dude, have a good night.”
Now when it comes to adults it’s a lot harder.
Most of them only care about politics or their job field. I don’t talk to adults much unless I’m at work and have no choice.
What I do is start simple. Like, “Hey, how was your weekend?” Then I just follow up with questions about what they did, and try to build a little convo from there. Sometimes, you have to stretch it a bit. If they say, “Yeah, I went to a car race,” you can say, “Oh really? I went to one a few days ago too.” Even if you didn’t. Just makes it more relatable.
That’s really it.
Just force yourself to go out there and try. Get a job, join a sport, anything that pushes you outside and into conversations.
Quick tip: When someone asks you a question like “How was your weekend?”don’t just answer. Say, “It was good, how about you?” Always throw the question back. Doesn’t matter what it is if it’s meant to be social, keep it going.
✌
