5'7" 3/4s
im a manlet with napoleon syndrome
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2025
- Posts
- 1,894
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If you want to dive into the rabbit hole that is my life, this whole arc started here:
looksmax.org
I didn't do any of this for attention, I posted on the forums as a way to cope, and in hindsight as I'm sitting comfortably on my living room couch-- I still can't get past how surreal all of the events that played out after these posts feel. I traveled ~25 miles with ~20-30 pounds worth of luggage uphill and through train tracks in an attempt to flee from my parents, police, and hospital workers over the course of two days. This is because when I left my house, my parents flagged me as missing endangered, my parents told the police I had mental health fucking issues(which caused a slew of problems when they dragged me into the emergency room). I'll elaborate on this later in the thread.
As I was going through my trials and tribulations, as soon as I took my first step out of the house, my life changed almost instantaneously. I had already taken up the appearance of a "homeless" man: large backpack, draped hoodie with hat, oversized and worn down boots, unshaven, and I hadn't showered for two days prior to actually leaving the house. The moment I stepped outside, EVERYONE looked at me differently. I felt genuinely discriminated for the way I looked for the first time in my life, nothing like how lookism affects us on a day-day basis.. dirty stares, scary looks, people crossing entire streets in avoidance of you, if you thought your truecel NEET life living with your parents was bad.. it can ALWAYS get worse.
Every single task that I completed while I was outside was for my own survival and longevity, every. single. one.
You have no clue what it feels like to be bounded by time on a day-day basis, this should be water, you're constantly procrastinating and scrolling on your phone.. unaware of the seconds that are passing by. I had to find ways to secure water and food, internet access, electricity for my phone and laptop, and a means of having consistent income ASAP. While I was outside, I dedicated 100% of my time to these things, I did not waste a single second wallowing in self-pity or else I would face IMMEDIATE CONSEQUENCE. In my head, every second I let pass without being aligned with my goals, was a second closer I was to comprising my own livelihood.
Reflecting on this, it makes me shed so many tears. How could I have allowed myself to waste so much time in the comfortability of my own home? Just a week ago, I was telling my mom it was over because I have recessed infras and chin, a downgrown jaw, and because I'm a manlet.. doomscrolling through off-topic to cope with the pain. But when I was outside, I actually did not CARE about any of this, I was purely concerned with upholding my psychology to make these attempts at self-pity FUTILE. I knew that these thoughts would only drag me down, and I could not afford to compromise myself and sacrifice my well-being. Even when I was "homeless", I still had thoughts of being manlet, of being recessed, and I even did genuinely tell myself, "It's over" at least a couple of times. BUT, the meaningful difference between my truecel NEET life and "Homeless" life lies in my response to these thoughts and actions. How I acted accordingly when I realized I was not in my right mind, when I realized that I was compromising my mission, and this made me realize what true conscientiousness is.
So, my first question to you Incel.. is.. (no pun intended)
Why are you letting your own thoughts hold you back from ascending? I have come to the conclusion, that genetics are not a determiner of your willpower and attitude. This is what your HEART is for. As human beings, I NOW KNOW FOR A FACT, that we possess the unique ability to conquer and hurdle any obstacle through sheer brute-force, and you not being able to recognize this power is simply a form of insecurity and self-doubt.
Realize your potential, there's always a way.
To the nice, young, African-American man at Walgreens who gave me a USB-C Charger for half off because I saw it misplaced on the rack, when I needed it to charge my laptop and had -$25 dollars in my checkings account, when he could have just told me, "Someone must have misplaced the product."
I'm eternally grateful to you, you showed me there's always a way.
To the young Asian girl studying at the library, who didn't discriminate against me based on my appearance, and allowed me her seat so I could have an outlet to troubleshoot my laptop as it wouldn't turn on, you allowed me to continue my journey and showed me that there's always a way.
To the Nigerian man who I met hustling Uber Eats, who I had asked for knowledge as to where he had bought his bicycle from, as he replied with, "I got this in New York!", a whole state away. You left me speechless as to your work ethic and determination to make a journey so far, you gave me hope, and showed me that there's always a way.
To the Indian call-center employees I was forced to deal with as I was climbing up-hill in pitch darkness, in an attempt to transfer my DoorDash and UberEats delivery methods from "Driver" to "Bicycle/Walking", after two hours of trial and error, FINALLY resulting in success. You showed me that there's always a way.
To the police officers who caught me reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius inside a McDonald's, and had temporarily detoured me from my journey, and checked me into the emergency room at the hospital to be evaluated by the psychiatrists in the psych ward. You gave me the opportunity to practice perseverance and mental stillness in circumstance centered in obscene amounts of uncertainty. You showed me that there's always a way.
To the psychiatrist that evaluated me, in which this "evaluation" in particular would be better deemed as an interrogation, and in which you offered me absolutely no empathy, thank you. I gave you absolutely zero substance to be able to classify me as having any mood disorder or mental illness, yet you discharged me with the diagnoses of both. Thank you, I ran and NEVER looked back, you showed me that there's always a way.
This is what they discharged me with: for one, I haven't smoked Cannabis since august, so they already are starting with bullshit; for two, there is absolutely no way they could have concluded I had a mood disorder through the line of questioning they gave me. There are so many confounding variables they did not take into consideration as to why I acted the way I did, and my answers should have been too vague for them to even extrapolate a definitive diagnosis, yet they gave me almost everything under the sun to follow protocol.
The reality is that if you don't fit into the standard mold of society, you will automatically be deemed as crazy or nonadjustable. Do I sound like I'm crazy? I was just lost, and truly underestimated how powerful my mind was/IS. Yet society is quick to judge, and will throw your potential under the bus if you let it.
And finally, to my cousin I***, this nigga is the only reason I was found after running out of the emergency room 10 hours later in the midst of night, as I was sleeping in the overhead of a bridge put under construction. He's a software engineer that makes a lot of money doing what he does, and somehow geotracked my phone(even when I made sure to turn off my location). I guess my OpSec was too shitty, but thanks to him, I now came upon an agreement with my parents for a better living situation.
I don't regret a single action I took, this was the most valuable learning experience that I ever had in my life.
tl;dr : it's never over, there's always a way.
Well my dads gonna crash out if he sees the sink is broken, I’m outta this house for a good minute.
Context: Thread 'I fucked up big time' https://looksmax.org/threads/i-fucked-up-big-time.1642350/ He just shouted at me from the other side of the door that the house in total used 28,000 gallons of water Idk what that even means tbh, all he said was, “it was a lot of money” All I know is...
looksmax.org
I didn't do any of this for attention, I posted on the forums as a way to cope, and in hindsight as I'm sitting comfortably on my living room couch-- I still can't get past how surreal all of the events that played out after these posts feel. I traveled ~25 miles with ~20-30 pounds worth of luggage uphill and through train tracks in an attempt to flee from my parents, police, and hospital workers over the course of two days. This is because when I left my house, my parents flagged me as missing endangered, my parents told the police I had mental health fucking issues(which caused a slew of problems when they dragged me into the emergency room). I'll elaborate on this later in the thread.
As I was going through my trials and tribulations, as soon as I took my first step out of the house, my life changed almost instantaneously. I had already taken up the appearance of a "homeless" man: large backpack, draped hoodie with hat, oversized and worn down boots, unshaven, and I hadn't showered for two days prior to actually leaving the house. The moment I stepped outside, EVERYONE looked at me differently. I felt genuinely discriminated for the way I looked for the first time in my life, nothing like how lookism affects us on a day-day basis.. dirty stares, scary looks, people crossing entire streets in avoidance of you, if you thought your truecel NEET life living with your parents was bad.. it can ALWAYS get worse.
Every single task that I completed while I was outside was for my own survival and longevity, every. single. one.
You have no clue what it feels like to be bounded by time on a day-day basis, this should be water, you're constantly procrastinating and scrolling on your phone.. unaware of the seconds that are passing by. I had to find ways to secure water and food, internet access, electricity for my phone and laptop, and a means of having consistent income ASAP. While I was outside, I dedicated 100% of my time to these things, I did not waste a single second wallowing in self-pity or else I would face IMMEDIATE CONSEQUENCE. In my head, every second I let pass without being aligned with my goals, was a second closer I was to comprising my own livelihood.
Reflecting on this, it makes me shed so many tears. How could I have allowed myself to waste so much time in the comfortability of my own home? Just a week ago, I was telling my mom it was over because I have recessed infras and chin, a downgrown jaw, and because I'm a manlet.. doomscrolling through off-topic to cope with the pain. But when I was outside, I actually did not CARE about any of this, I was purely concerned with upholding my psychology to make these attempts at self-pity FUTILE. I knew that these thoughts would only drag me down, and I could not afford to compromise myself and sacrifice my well-being. Even when I was "homeless", I still had thoughts of being manlet, of being recessed, and I even did genuinely tell myself, "It's over" at least a couple of times. BUT, the meaningful difference between my truecel NEET life and "Homeless" life lies in my response to these thoughts and actions. How I acted accordingly when I realized I was not in my right mind, when I realized that I was compromising my mission, and this made me realize what true conscientiousness is.
So, my first question to you Incel.. is.. (no pun intended)
Why are you letting your own thoughts hold you back from ascending? I have come to the conclusion, that genetics are not a determiner of your willpower and attitude. This is what your HEART is for. As human beings, I NOW KNOW FOR A FACT, that we possess the unique ability to conquer and hurdle any obstacle through sheer brute-force, and you not being able to recognize this power is simply a form of insecurity and self-doubt.
Realize your potential, there's always a way.
To the nice, young, African-American man at Walgreens who gave me a USB-C Charger for half off because I saw it misplaced on the rack, when I needed it to charge my laptop and had -$25 dollars in my checkings account, when he could have just told me, "Someone must have misplaced the product."
I'm eternally grateful to you, you showed me there's always a way.
To the young Asian girl studying at the library, who didn't discriminate against me based on my appearance, and allowed me her seat so I could have an outlet to troubleshoot my laptop as it wouldn't turn on, you allowed me to continue my journey and showed me that there's always a way.
To the Nigerian man who I met hustling Uber Eats, who I had asked for knowledge as to where he had bought his bicycle from, as he replied with, "I got this in New York!", a whole state away. You left me speechless as to your work ethic and determination to make a journey so far, you gave me hope, and showed me that there's always a way.
To the Indian call-center employees I was forced to deal with as I was climbing up-hill in pitch darkness, in an attempt to transfer my DoorDash and UberEats delivery methods from "Driver" to "Bicycle/Walking", after two hours of trial and error, FINALLY resulting in success. You showed me that there's always a way.
To the police officers who caught me reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius inside a McDonald's, and had temporarily detoured me from my journey, and checked me into the emergency room at the hospital to be evaluated by the psychiatrists in the psych ward. You gave me the opportunity to practice perseverance and mental stillness in circumstance centered in obscene amounts of uncertainty. You showed me that there's always a way.
To the psychiatrist that evaluated me, in which this "evaluation" in particular would be better deemed as an interrogation, and in which you offered me absolutely no empathy, thank you. I gave you absolutely zero substance to be able to classify me as having any mood disorder or mental illness, yet you discharged me with the diagnoses of both. Thank you, I ran and NEVER looked back, you showed me that there's always a way.
This is what they discharged me with: for one, I haven't smoked Cannabis since august, so they already are starting with bullshit; for two, there is absolutely no way they could have concluded I had a mood disorder through the line of questioning they gave me. There are so many confounding variables they did not take into consideration as to why I acted the way I did, and my answers should have been too vague for them to even extrapolate a definitive diagnosis, yet they gave me almost everything under the sun to follow protocol.
The reality is that if you don't fit into the standard mold of society, you will automatically be deemed as crazy or nonadjustable. Do I sound like I'm crazy? I was just lost, and truly underestimated how powerful my mind was/IS. Yet society is quick to judge, and will throw your potential under the bus if you let it.
And finally, to my cousin I***, this nigga is the only reason I was found after running out of the emergency room 10 hours later in the midst of night, as I was sleeping in the overhead of a bridge put under construction. He's a software engineer that makes a lot of money doing what he does, and somehow geotracked my phone(even when I made sure to turn off my location). I guess my OpSec was too shitty, but thanks to him, I now came upon an agreement with my parents for a better living situation.
I don't regret a single action I took, this was the most valuable learning experience that I ever had in my life.
tl;dr : it's never over, there's always a way.
