How long does it take to rewire/unfuck your brain after banging a girl?

[shrek]

If you lose your KHHV and get laid regularly, how long does it take to rewire/unfuck your brain?

 

[Vermilioncore]

You’re fucked eternally

 

[shrek]

You’re fucked eternally

Why? Even if I try really hard I still can’t change?

 

[zikzog]

It depends from person to person, some people have more brain plasticity. This is why a lot of people on this forum claim that it's over if you aren't getting STDs by 15, cause you're brain is a lot of receptive to change at that age. As you get older it's harder but it's achievable. I was V until 18 and it took probably about 2 years after that to become better, I'm still not slayer but I'll get there with looksmaxing.

 

[shrek]

It depends from person to person, some people have more brain plasticity. This is why a lot of people on this forum claim that it's over if you aren't getting STDs by 15, cause you're brain is a lot of receptive to change at that age. As you get older it's harder but it's achievable. I was V until 18 and it took probably about 2 years after that to become better, I'm still not slayer but I'll get there with looksmaxing.

I’m 20 khhv. I’ve gotten called hot etc on tinder and insta and I’m in good shape. Do you think I have a good chance to improve?

 

[Amnesia]

After like 10 years old u are who u are, forever


ppl here have it backwards, they think being incel CAUSES shit brain wiring when ur inceldom is a symptom of shit brain wiring since u even knew what sex was

 

[zikzog]

I’m 20 khhv. I’ve gotten called hot etc on tinder and insta and I’m in good shape. Do you think I have a good chance to improve?

Absolutely, I was in a very similar situation to you. I became kinda gl the older I got and got compliments more often. Un-ironically was personality for me. I wasn't getting compliments from stacies but still was getting compliments. That's a sign you can attract people and therefore can date/fuck them. A lot of the time it just takes some balls, it isn't easy to go from socially awkward to at least a bit confident but it takes time. Still even though I said it is personality, don't stop looksmaxing cause being better looking will make it even more easier.

 

[APJ]

I’m a late starter - now in late twenties, lost virginity early twenties, looksmaxed to a point (since a couple of years ago) of being able to have casual sex with ok-looking girls my age or less with relative ease. The feeling never went away.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and a lot of pursuing sex and affection was more about finding people who I admired/valued who would accept and love me for my differences, and not despite them. I never had this growing up, this ‘feeling seen’. I suspect this is what’s going on under the surface with a lot of ‘late ascenders’ who are still dissatisfied with their lot, much of it is about confirmation that someone understands you and is ‘on your team’. Once you have this, you’re free to approach sex in a way which enables you to enjoy it far more

 

[zikzog]

I’m a late starter - now in late twenties, lost virginity early twenties, looksmaxed to a point (since a couple of years ago) of being able to have casual sex with ok-looking girls my age or less with relative ease. The feeling never went away.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and a lot of pursuing sex and affection was more about finding people who I admired/valued who would accept and love me for my differences, and not despite them. I never had this growing up, this ‘feeling seen’. I suspect this is what’s going on under the surface with a lot of ‘late ascenders’ who are still dissatisfied with their lot, much of it is about confirmation that someone understands you and is ‘on your team’. Once you have this, you’re free to approach sex in a way which enables you to enjoy it far more

Really good post for a newcomer. Makes a lot of sense.

 

[APJ]

Really good post for a newcomer. Makes a lot of sense.

Thanks! That said I’d been lurking here for a while before I decided to start posting. Also, one thing to add: I still haven’t solved the problem I described - thought a gf might, but no, they still didn’t try to understand

 

[zikzog]

Thanks! That said I’d been lurking here for a while before I decided to start posting. Also, one thing to add: I still haven’t solved the problem I described - thought a gf might, but no, they still didn’t try to understand

Same with me, I'm younger than you but for me getting into a relationship actually disenchanted me about them. I know a lot of this site likes to bash women but really it's hard to find any people like that.

Really you have to find someone that's similar to you in ways that compliment eachother (I.e. both like quality time together) but then also the contrasts you have with eachother also compliment (one dominant in the relationship, one submissive) if you have that baseline then I think you can make it work, this is why I'm probably not gonna LTR again, at least not for a long time, cause I realised my personality is too unusual for a lot of people, at least the deeper parts I don't show on the surface.

I think this is what you were talking about, apologies if I actually didn't understand what you were talking about and have just rambled about my own problems.

 

[APJ]

Same with me, I'm younger than you but for me getting into a relationship actually disenchanted me about them. I know a lot of this site likes to bash women but really it's hard to find any people like that.

Really you have to find someone that's similar to you in ways that compliment eachother (I.e. both like quality time together) but then also the contrasts you have with eachother also compliment (one dominant in the relationship, one submissive) if you have that baseline then I think you can make it work, this is why I'm probably not gonna LTR again, at least not for a long time, cause I realised my personality is too unusual for a lot of people, at least the deeper parts I don't show on the surface.

I think this is what you were talking about, apologies if I actually didn't understand what you were talking about and have just rambled about my own problems.

Not at all, what you write here sounds very familiar, especially the disenchantment with LTRs once experienced, and the deeper parts of your personality being too ‘unusual’. It’s validating to hear someone else going through similar experiences.

One thing that hit me that you touch upon when you wrote about the dom-sub baseline is that these ‘differences’ extend to the sort of relationship dynamic I prefer. I sort of... don’t really want to dominate my girlfriend (or be submissive to her)? I lose desire for her if I have to step into that role and we can’t just be two chill people who fancy each other.

Another thing is what the (more red-pill) writer Delicious Tacos points out is that perhaps the standard courtship process isn’t really satisfying either - he talks about only feeling for girls who ‘picked him’ out of the blue and escalated themselves, making sexually aggressive moves. To an extent, I have this - having to initiate everything (even if enthusiastically reciprocated) makes me feel a bit dead/numb towards her. But it’s like swimming upstream to try and change that model

 

[zikzog]

Not at all, what you write here sounds very familiar, especially the disenchantment with LTRs once experienced, and the deeper parts of your personality being too ‘unusual’. It’s validating to hear someone else going through similar experiences.

One thing that hit me that you touch upon when you wrote about the dom-sub baseline is that these ‘differences’ extend to the sort of relationship dynamic I prefer. I sort of... don’t really want to dominate my girlfriend (or be submissive to her)? I lose desire for her if I have to step into that role and we can’t just be two chill people who fancy each other.

Another thing is what the (more red-pill) writer Delicious Tacos points out is that perhaps the standard courtship process isn’t really satisfying either - he talks about only feeling for girls who ‘picked him’ out of the blue and escalated themselves, making sexually aggressive moves. To an extent, I have this - having to initiate everything (even if enthusiastically reciprocated) makes me feel a bit dead/numb towards her. But it’s like swimming upstream to try and change that model

Really what you describe is a very unbiological way of a relationship. Nothing wrong with that it's just you're probably a much less biologically driven person by the sounds of it, like you'd still have desires but they don't control you as much and you can reason with them. Usually it's very hard to find people like that in general, never mind women. You seem like the kind of person that really prioritises the love of the mind and soul rather than the love of the body. Not that you don't love sex or can't feel love from sex you just have a much more emotional connection to it than most. You are definitely riding upstream and it's good you recognise that, you can either try to change your mindset or just be content in knowing it will be difficult.

I'm different, I don't mind a bit of chase but then I also need some desire back obviously. I am very biologically driven and have quite strong urges so for me it's natural to be in a dominant position. I love sex and will happily take it without any emotions attached.

 

[APJ]

Really what you describe is a very unbiological way of a relationship. Nothing wrong with that it's just you're probably a much less biologically driven person by the sounds of it, like you'd still have desires but they don't control you as much and you can reason with them. Usually it's very hard to find people like that in general, never mind women. You seem like the kind of person that really prioritises the love of the mind and soul rather than the love of the body. Not that you don't love sex or can't feel love from sex you just have a much more emotional connection to it than most. You are definitely riding upstream and it's good you recognise that, you can either try to change your mindset or just be content in knowing it will be difficult.

I'm different, I don't mind a bit of chase but then I also need some desire back obviously. I am very biologically driven and have quite strong urges so for me it's natural to be in a dominant position. I love sex and will happily take it without any emotions attached.

This is a perceptive diagnosis - it feels like the pure physical desires involved in sex get swamped by the emotional desires, it’s a ‘prioritising’. It was always about what sex means in principle and how it affects everything else. I don’t think it’s low testosterone - haven’t been tested but I’m lean, I lift, in late 20s, diet is good, and my feelings here never changed over the years, even vs. teens when test levels would have been at their highest.

Maybe people are just built a certain way; I don’t enjoy casual sex significantly more than jerking off, and I did try building a rotation but what ends up happening is I just prefer seeing one of the girls way more, due to growing emotional attachment, so seeing the others feels like a waste. On the other hand, I know guys (presumably this is the case for you?) for whom sex is like eating a steak, they can really enjoy the pure physical sensation without anything else attached to it, and they get a lot out of variety of partners. It’s interesting to hear you went down the LTR route for a while, and were dissatisfied, although it seems from how you describe it that there was also a lack of connection there on her side (so really you’d only want to be in one for the regularity of the sex, trading that for more variety, if that’s the trade-off?).

 

[zikzog]

This is a perceptive diagnosis - it feels like the pure physical desires involved in sex get swamped by the emotional desires, it’s a ‘prioritising’. It was always about what sex means in principle and how it affects everything else. I don’t think it’s low testosterone - haven’t been tested but I’m lean, I lift, in late 20s, diet is good, and my feelings here never changed over the years, even vs. teens when test levels would have been at their highest.

Maybe people are just built a certain way; I don’t enjoy casual sex significantly more than jerking off, and I did try building a rotation but what ends up happening is I just prefer seeing one of the girls way more, due to growing emotional attachment, so seeing the others feels like a waste. On the other hand, I know guys (presumably this is the case for you?) for whom sex is like eating a steak, they can really enjoy the pure physical sensation without anything else attached to it, and they get a lot out of variety of partners. It’s interesting to hear you went down the LTR route for a while, and were dissatisfied, although it seems from how you describe it that there was also a lack of connection there on her side (so really you’d only want to be in one for the regularity of the sex, trading that for more variety, if that’s the trade-off?).

Just what I perceived from what you said, I'm by no means an expert so maybe find someone who's good at this stuff that isn't a bluepilled psychologist. Find one who really understands this kind of emotional stuff.

For me it was unusual. I was at first very into the idea of emotional sex but then I got to uni and just decided to drop them and get pussy. After I got into an LTR I was very into her, I enjoyed the time with her and just the way she kind of was just there. It kinda took a while to see that really deeper down we weren't similar people. Like yeah our contrasts were working (dominant and submissive) but really our similarities were lacking, she was into just chilling a lot but I'm more of a need to be doing stuff person like shed lie in til 1 pm but I'll be up at 8 ready to go. For the sex wise I actually got a lot worse at it in an LTR cause my emotions overwhelmed me and I feel that's what kind of ruined the relationship. Attaching my emotions to her and then to the sex just made it difficult to perform how I usually do. I think it also made me not enjoy the sex as much as I would. So I think non LTR sex is better for me.

 

[APJ]

Just what I perceived from what you said, I'm by no means an expert so maybe find someone who's good at this stuff that isn't a bluepilled psychologist. Find one who really understands this kind of emotional stuff.

For me it was unusual. I was at first very into the idea of emotional sex but then I got to uni and just decided to drop them and get pussy. After I got into an LTR I was very into her, I enjoyed the time with her and just the way she kind of was just there. It kinda took a while to see that really deeper down we weren't similar people. Like yeah our contrasts were working (dominant and submissive) but really our similarities were lacking, she was into just chilling a lot but I'm more of a need to be doing stuff person like shed lie in til 1 pm but I'll be up at 8 ready to go. For the sex wise I actually got a lot worse at it in an LTR cause my emotions overwhelmed me and I feel that's what kind of ruined the relationship. Attaching my emotions to her and then to the sex just made it difficult to perform how I usually do. I think it also made me not enjoy the sex as much as I would. So I think non LTR sex is better for me.

That’s interesting, so the attachment made you perform *worse* in bed, that’s literally the opposite for me, in casual sex I have little interest in how good her experience is (maybe a basic amount due to general politeness). The emotions overwhelming you... yeah I feel that.

Good call on psychologists/therapists, have you tried them? I’ve been seeing (a male) one for approx. 6 months now and it’s been fantastic, can’t recommend it enough if you find a good one, even just for better self-understanding. I realise much of PSL thinks therapists are scammy, and they might be in general. Maybe me and the two people who recommended it to me just lucked out, but I saw how those two people changed for the better over time so they walked the walk and weren’t gaslighting