juggernog
Your average ironcel
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2024
- Posts
- 123
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- 114
At the time I was 13, practiced competitive swimming (Wich i later dropped out of) and aspy aswell
I don’t know exactly when but i started being kinda depressed I didn’t have TikTok or anything like that at the time and I didnt know what depression was and though it was something made up,
Swimming was an important thing on my life, happiness depended on how it went, well turns out my genetics sucked, even tho i was the one who trained the hardest i could barely qualify for nationals, this fact made me really sad+ the pressure of my parents also made me feel pressured and sad.
To sum up i was also having bad grades in my school according to my parents strict demandings, like betting’s Bs and some Cs was bad for them
Fast forwarding to the interesting part is after a while i just decided I was gonna kill myself. I hated how i acted and how others saw me. So I planned to jump from a bridge later that month
In the day I attempted, we didn’t have some classes so I went to the bridge to do it, i was crying a shit Ton while on the bridge, while writing my suicide note Wich was basically thanking everyone I knew (friends and family) so no one felt guilty or forgotten jfl.
When i was done I jumped to the other side of the bridge where the cars passed, like you had to do a little parkour cause it had some fences, i knew if I fell straight to the ground it wasn’t enough to kill me, so i had to wait for a big car to pass by. Well 13yo me was dumb asf because the cars could see me from under the bridge and when o was about to jump they turned so they wouldn’t crash on me. As I was about to jump, idk my survival instincts kicked in and i just climbed back to the normal bridge and went home/ to school. When leaving the bridge someone already was waiting for me to try and prevent me. They were the school psychiatrists of the second school Wich was the one o didn’t go to (fuck yeah small towns do this) I just said it was ok and lied about all my info so they couldn’t do anything. And ran home
Well i figured out it was “God” preventing me from suicide and that’s when I became red pilled
After that day it was just so akward and I was so ashamed of myself i never had suicidal thoughts again (until now)
I think that broke permanently the way I view stuff and it isn’t a very positive experience for a kid
I don’t know exactly when but i started being kinda depressed I didn’t have TikTok or anything like that at the time and I didnt know what depression was and though it was something made up,
Swimming was an important thing on my life, happiness depended on how it went, well turns out my genetics sucked, even tho i was the one who trained the hardest i could barely qualify for nationals, this fact made me really sad+ the pressure of my parents also made me feel pressured and sad.
To sum up i was also having bad grades in my school according to my parents strict demandings, like betting’s Bs and some Cs was bad for them
Fast forwarding to the interesting part is after a while i just decided I was gonna kill myself. I hated how i acted and how others saw me. So I planned to jump from a bridge later that month
In the day I attempted, we didn’t have some classes so I went to the bridge to do it, i was crying a shit Ton while on the bridge, while writing my suicide note Wich was basically thanking everyone I knew (friends and family) so no one felt guilty or forgotten jfl.
When i was done I jumped to the other side of the bridge where the cars passed, like you had to do a little parkour cause it had some fences, i knew if I fell straight to the ground it wasn’t enough to kill me, so i had to wait for a big car to pass by. Well 13yo me was dumb asf because the cars could see me from under the bridge and when o was about to jump they turned so they wouldn’t crash on me. As I was about to jump, idk my survival instincts kicked in and i just climbed back to the normal bridge and went home/ to school. When leaving the bridge someone already was waiting for me to try and prevent me. They were the school psychiatrists of the second school Wich was the one o didn’t go to (fuck yeah small towns do this) I just said it was ok and lied about all my info so they couldn’t do anything. And ran home
Well i figured out it was “God” preventing me from suicide and that’s when I became red pilled
After that day it was just so akward and I was so ashamed of myself i never had suicidal thoughts again (until now)
I think that broke permanently the way I view stuff and it isn’t a very positive experience for a kid
