RealNinja
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I just commented this in another thread but it’s helpful info so figured I’d post it separately.
If you have a girl that’s giving you consistent IOIs every time you see her- like staring at you, smiling at you, etcetera- this is what you do.
ICEBREAKER
Just walk up to her and talk to her about literally anything. (Don’t ask for her contact info immediately.) That being said, the best conversation starter with a stranger (any stranger not just a girl you’re interested in) is asking them a question. Try to leave it open ended. Here’s a good example: if you’re approaching a girl in one of your lectures that you think is interested, say something like “what do you think of this class so far? Or “how do you feel about the final next week?”
But again, the icebreaker can be anything as long as you don’t say something autistic and weird. You aren’t trying to win her over with some smooth line. You’re approaching a girl who you think ALREADY LIKES YOU. The only purpose of your first time speaking to her is to gauge how she feels about you and see if your intuition was correct.
CALIBRATION
Listen to the way she responds and pay attention to her body language. This can be individual (some girls are more shy) but a girl who likes you will typically be enthusiastic and appear happy to be speaking with you. She will smile and hold eye contact. She might adjust or play with her hair. She will generally display open body language (arms uncrossed, body facing yours, etcetera.)
She will also try to keep the conversation going. I’m a little socially awkward and sometimes let conversations come to a lull. But when talking to a girl that I knew had a crush on me, she would try to keep the conversation going by asking a question or switching the topic. If the girl is attracted to you, she will be engaged in the conversation and participate actively. If she’s not actively participating when you try to converse with her, that’s a bad sign. In other words, girls who like you will not give dry answers.
Let’s refer back to the example I used- say you ask a girl “what do you think of this class so far?” If she’s interested, she might say something like “it’s pretty boring but I guess it’s an easy A! What did you get on the last exam?” If she’s not interested she will probably give a short and vague response like “it’s alright.” By giving a dry answer like this she is basically saying that she wants the interaction to be over. She chose not to participate in conversation with you.
Other signs of disinterest include closed off body language, or body language that signals discomfort. Girls who are uninterested might cross their arms, avoid eye contact, face their body away from you, or not smile during the interaction. A caveat to the last example is that a lot of people, girls especially, are socialized to smile all the time. So she may still “smile” even if she dislikes you. Differentiate between a real/friendly smile and a fake/uncomfortable smile. A genuine smile will be wider, and will use the whole face. The smile should reach her eyes. If she’s just smiling out of courtesy her eye area will probably remain still. A fake smile is also usually more tight-lipped, with a closed mouth.
HOW TO PROCEED
If all goes well and she seems to be interested, introduce yourself and ask for her name. End the conversation on a good note, keep it relatively brief. Dont stand there and yap her fucking ear off for 10 minutes. Next time you see her, you have the green light to greet her and talk again. Maybe throw in some light flirting. If she still seems interested, ask for her number or social media.
If you misread the situation and she is not interested, cut off the conversation promptly but in a polite manner. This allows both of you to save face- she doesn’t have to tell you to fuck off, and you didn’t embarrass yourself because all you did was ask her a mundane question. (This is why you don’t immediately ask for her number and say you think she’s hot, like a retard. Save face.) Tell her to have a good day and then walk off.
If you have a girl that’s giving you consistent IOIs every time you see her- like staring at you, smiling at you, etcetera- this is what you do.
ICEBREAKER
Just walk up to her and talk to her about literally anything. (Don’t ask for her contact info immediately.) That being said, the best conversation starter with a stranger (any stranger not just a girl you’re interested in) is asking them a question. Try to leave it open ended. Here’s a good example: if you’re approaching a girl in one of your lectures that you think is interested, say something like “what do you think of this class so far? Or “how do you feel about the final next week?”
But again, the icebreaker can be anything as long as you don’t say something autistic and weird. You aren’t trying to win her over with some smooth line. You’re approaching a girl who you think ALREADY LIKES YOU. The only purpose of your first time speaking to her is to gauge how she feels about you and see if your intuition was correct.
CALIBRATION
Listen to the way she responds and pay attention to her body language. This can be individual (some girls are more shy) but a girl who likes you will typically be enthusiastic and appear happy to be speaking with you. She will smile and hold eye contact. She might adjust or play with her hair. She will generally display open body language (arms uncrossed, body facing yours, etcetera.)
She will also try to keep the conversation going. I’m a little socially awkward and sometimes let conversations come to a lull. But when talking to a girl that I knew had a crush on me, she would try to keep the conversation going by asking a question or switching the topic. If the girl is attracted to you, she will be engaged in the conversation and participate actively. If she’s not actively participating when you try to converse with her, that’s a bad sign. In other words, girls who like you will not give dry answers.
Let’s refer back to the example I used- say you ask a girl “what do you think of this class so far?” If she’s interested, she might say something like “it’s pretty boring but I guess it’s an easy A! What did you get on the last exam?” If she’s not interested she will probably give a short and vague response like “it’s alright.” By giving a dry answer like this she is basically saying that she wants the interaction to be over. She chose not to participate in conversation with you.
Other signs of disinterest include closed off body language, or body language that signals discomfort. Girls who are uninterested might cross their arms, avoid eye contact, face their body away from you, or not smile during the interaction. A caveat to the last example is that a lot of people, girls especially, are socialized to smile all the time. So she may still “smile” even if she dislikes you. Differentiate between a real/friendly smile and a fake/uncomfortable smile. A genuine smile will be wider, and will use the whole face. The smile should reach her eyes. If she’s just smiling out of courtesy her eye area will probably remain still. A fake smile is also usually more tight-lipped, with a closed mouth.
HOW TO PROCEED
If all goes well and she seems to be interested, introduce yourself and ask for her name. End the conversation on a good note, keep it relatively brief. Dont stand there and yap her fucking ear off for 10 minutes. Next time you see her, you have the green light to greet her and talk again. Maybe throw in some light flirting. If she still seems interested, ask for her number or social media.
If you misread the situation and she is not interested, cut off the conversation promptly but in a polite manner. This allows both of you to save face- she doesn’t have to tell you to fuck off, and you didn’t embarrass yourself because all you did was ask her a mundane question. (This is why you don’t immediately ask for her number and say you think she’s hot, like a retard. Save face.) Tell her to have a good day and then walk off.
