D
Deleted member 5927
Lurker
The depression is killing me. The loneliness, is fucking brutal. Every day I come home from work and just sit down and cry for like 30 minutes. I literally don't have motivation to move and I can't do anything. I can't even play video games I don't know which one to play. The loneliness is killing me, save me. I've noticed NoFap makes me motivated as fuck and feeling good, and if I do it for around 4-5 days I feel untouchable. But at around the 2 week mark the depression comes back and I start to see the reality around me again, and I have to fap to save myself. If I fap then I become a little foggy minded and less horny and I can actually think about other shit than my life.
I am going insane. The depression and loneliness constantly haunts me. I have no family at all, no friends, I live in the middle of nowhere, no hobbies and no money. I wakecuck all day just to pay my bills at age 19. I have like no money saved up, all my money goes to bills.
How any person could live this life and save for fucking retirement is beyond me. I barely make it through the day and I'm alone and depressed and it's awful. I have so much shit to do since I have to take care of myself, but since I'm lonely I don't have the motivation to do it. For example I have to wagecuck 9 hours at work, I skip lunch just to make extra money to pay bills. Then I get home exhausted, and have to wash clothes, clean my room, vaccuum my car, cook dinner for myself, etc.
On top of all of this I am subhuman. How anyone could live this life for extended periods of time is beyond me. Even more brutal is I am not Chad so nobody on this forum gives a shit about my threads other than @Gunnersup @NewParasite and a few others. If I rope I ask the government feds to give all my belongings to these users. Not that I will, but if I do inevitably in the future they are the only fucking people keeping me going.
If I can take a pill to go insane or lower my IQ tell me now. I see the world in such a blackpilled view. Every day I think of new blackpills. I realized everything is about looks because that's your brains main organ to learn information, the eyes. Everyone wants a good looking car. Nobody wants to drive a fucking minivan. Everyone wants a clean looking house, nobody wants a fucking rotting shed to live in. Everyone wants a decent looking partner, nobody wants a fucking low average male, even to be seen in public with as a friend.
This life is brutal and I can't even enjoy anything without blackpilling myself. I literally walk in the woods and think about how nature isn't really beautiful, it's just deadly. If I was small enough, the ants on the ground would tear me to pieces and feed me to the colony. If I was weak enough, the vultures flying miles above in the sky would come down and pick me apart to suffice their hunger. The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm larger than them, and stronger than them. Nature is not beautiful, it's not on your side.
I need to go insane. I need to pull a Friedrich Nietzsche and just live the rest of my days in a frenzied state of nothingness and insanity. Teach me how.
I am going insane. The depression and loneliness constantly haunts me. I have no family at all, no friends, I live in the middle of nowhere, no hobbies and no money. I wakecuck all day just to pay my bills at age 19. I have like no money saved up, all my money goes to bills.
How any person could live this life and save for fucking retirement is beyond me. I barely make it through the day and I'm alone and depressed and it's awful. I have so much shit to do since I have to take care of myself, but since I'm lonely I don't have the motivation to do it. For example I have to wagecuck 9 hours at work, I skip lunch just to make extra money to pay bills. Then I get home exhausted, and have to wash clothes, clean my room, vaccuum my car, cook dinner for myself, etc.
On top of all of this I am subhuman. How anyone could live this life for extended periods of time is beyond me. Even more brutal is I am not Chad so nobody on this forum gives a shit about my threads other than @Gunnersup @NewParasite and a few others. If I rope I ask the government feds to give all my belongings to these users. Not that I will, but if I do inevitably in the future they are the only fucking people keeping me going.
If I can take a pill to go insane or lower my IQ tell me now. I see the world in such a blackpilled view. Every day I think of new blackpills. I realized everything is about looks because that's your brains main organ to learn information, the eyes. Everyone wants a good looking car. Nobody wants to drive a fucking minivan. Everyone wants a clean looking house, nobody wants a fucking rotting shed to live in. Everyone wants a decent looking partner, nobody wants a fucking low average male, even to be seen in public with as a friend.
This life is brutal and I can't even enjoy anything without blackpilling myself. I literally walk in the woods and think about how nature isn't really beautiful, it's just deadly. If I was small enough, the ants on the ground would tear me to pieces and feed me to the colony. If I was weak enough, the vultures flying miles above in the sky would come down and pick me apart to suffice their hunger. The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm larger than them, and stronger than them. Nature is not beautiful, it's not on your side.
I need to go insane. I need to pull a Friedrich Nietzsche and just live the rest of my days in a frenzied state of nothingness and insanity. Teach me how.
