ShineBright
King of Cages
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2019
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Inb4 the virtue signalling fags storm this thread with "Nooo you can't just lie on a resumé! That's unethical & discredits my hard work! Y-you'll get caught!"
1. Learn the boundaries
Obviously you'll have limitations. I don't recommend lying about education, since those details are regularly checked. Sometimes you can get away with lying about your GPA, I'd recommend not including it at all if it's bad. But it is legal to lie about anything on a resumé, and the worst things that can happen are:
2. Building your resumé
Paradoxically, many entry-level jobs require previous experience. It's really simple to beat this system: claim that you actually have it.
On your resumé, bullshit time frames and positions at any relevant company. If you have gaps of employment on your resumé, lie to fill them up. Employers are wary about gaps because they'll assume you were a slacker.
For example, let's say you want to get a job as a phlebotomist (college education isn't usually a requirement, but it's still a good gateway into the medical field). You can just google "example resumé for ____" and find it pre-made most of the time, like:
To be extra prepared, the company may ask for a referral phone number to one of your previous places of employment. For the job you lied about, give them the phone number of a clever accomplice & fill them in on the details they'd need to know. If you have no clever friends (you don't), just never answer the calls if they do decide to call.
3. Preparing for interviews
Good job, you've managed to beat out the competition that was foolish enough to be honest & you've landed an interview. To prepare, spend a few hours watching YouTube reviews & explanations of the job, relevant vocabulary & duties, etc. Even if you bomb this interview, you've learned some relevant questions & are now more prepared to lie your way past the next interview.
4. What? You don't seem like you've worked in a hospital before...
Congrats, you little sociopath. If you cleaned up your resumé enough, nailed your interviews, cleverly covered up your few exaggerated truths, and never disclose your lies to co-workers, you'll have made it.
1. Learn the boundaries
Obviously you'll have limitations. I don't recommend lying about education, since those details are regularly checked. Sometimes you can get away with lying about your GPA, I'd recommend not including it at all if it's bad. But it is legal to lie about anything on a resumé, and the worst things that can happen are:
- you get denied the job
- fired after you already made it if you suck
- you get blacklisted from that particular company
2. Building your resumé
Paradoxically, many entry-level jobs require previous experience. It's really simple to beat this system: claim that you actually have it.
On your resumé, bullshit time frames and positions at any relevant company. If you have gaps of employment on your resumé, lie to fill them up. Employers are wary about gaps because they'll assume you were a slacker.
For example, let's say you want to get a job as a phlebotomist (college education isn't usually a requirement, but it's still a good gateway into the medical field). You can just google "example resumé for ____" and find it pre-made most of the time, like:
Phlebotomist Resume Sample
This phlebotomist resume shows how you can communicate your credentials and draw your resume to the top of the stack.
www.monster.com
To be extra prepared, the company may ask for a referral phone number to one of your previous places of employment. For the job you lied about, give them the phone number of a clever accomplice & fill them in on the details they'd need to know. If you have no clever friends (you don't), just never answer the calls if they do decide to call.
3. Preparing for interviews
Good job, you've managed to beat out the competition that was foolish enough to be honest & you've landed an interview. To prepare, spend a few hours watching YouTube reviews & explanations of the job, relevant vocabulary & duties, etc. Even if you bomb this interview, you've learned some relevant questions & are now more prepared to lie your way past the next interview.
4. What? You don't seem like you've worked in a hospital before...
Congrats, you little sociopath. If you cleaned up your resumé enough, nailed your interviews, cleverly covered up your few exaggerated truths, and never disclose your lies to co-workers, you'll have made it.
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