How to not want to die?

[EverythingMaxxer]

lately I’ve just been wanting life to end. I’ll take risks, go anywhere I want, and a cop had me at gunpoint and I didn’t care at all. I’m ready to die.

I hate who I am in every single way, I hate a few people, and I hate working 9-5 so much. My friends and all the money I have for surgeries and copes keep me going, but even if I become happy with my life how can I be happy in this clown world that’s filled with suffering?

I know this isn’t a good place to ask but just reply if you can relate or whatever. You can tell me to rope but tell me if there’s any drugs/meds/something that could help too. Thanks

 

[Elias]

Dn rd

 

[ChaddeusPeuterschmit]

Hello? Aw shit, nigga!
What the fuck time is it, man?
Oh goddamn, nigga!
Do you know what time it is?
Aw shit, what the fuck's goin' on? You aight?
Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?
When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
'Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
It don't make sense, goin' to heaven with the goodie-goodies
Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
God'll prob'ly have me on some real strict shit
No sleepin' all day, no gettin' my dick licked
Hangin' with the goodie-goodies, loungin' in paradise
Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice (You talkin' some crazy shit now, nigga)
All my life I been considered as the worst
Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion
She don't even love me like she did when I was younger (Get a hold of yourself, nigga!)
Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger
I wonder, if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
My baby mother's eight months, her little sister's two
Who's to blame for both of them? (Nah, nigga, not you)
I swear to God I want to just slit my wrists and end this bullshit
Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit (Nigga, what the fuck?)
And squeeze until the bed's completely red (It's too late for this shit, man)
I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddha head
The stress is buildin' up, I can't— I can't believe (Yo, I'm on my way over there, man)
Suicide's on my fuckin' mind, I wanna leave
I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me
But nah, you wouldn't understand (Nigga, talk to me please, man!)
You see it's kinda like the crack did to Pookie in New Jack
Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back (Yo, I'ma call you when I get in the car)
Should I die on the train track like Ramo in Beat Street
People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me (Ayo, where your girl at, man?)
My baby mama kiss me, but she glad I'm gone (Yo, put your girl on the phone, nigga!)
She know me and her sister had somethin' goin' on
I reach my peak, I can't speak (Ayo, you listenin' to me, motherfucker?)
Call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak (Ayo, c'mon, nigga)
I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin'
Matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'
(Ayo Big! Ayo Big!)
Please hang up, and try your call again
Please hang up, this is a recording

 

[Elias]

^ dn rd

 

[disillusioned]

a cop had me at gunpoint and I didn’t care at all.

Elab.

 

[Deleted member 3853]

Elab.

Wtf. He never elabed

 

[Entschuldigung]

IDK

 

[Tyronecell]