how to social maxx need advice?

[Deleted member 14166]

i suck at socializing , Idk how to talk to people , I need advice , it usually the other person that starts the conversation

 

[Deleted member 13335]

Idk have the same problem its actually over for us

 

[Deleted member 14978]

I have very poor social skills but one thing that I'm doing is making a conscious effort to spend time with the most NT people I know and just trying to learn from what they say/do. Sounds weird, but I sometimes listen into other peoples conversations just to learn

 

[Deleted member 14543]

I have very poor social skills but one thing that I'm doing is making a conscious effort to spend time with the most NT people I know and just trying to learn from what they say/do. Sounds weird, but I sometimes listen into other peoples conversations just to learn

great advice ngl, listen to this guy OP

 

[klamus]

You cant fake it. You have to have genuine want to talk to random people and be somewhat charismatic. If you didnt cultivate these skills in 20 years, its never gonna happen in your lifetime

 

[Deleted member 14166]

I have very poor social skills but one thing that I'm doing is making a conscious effort to spend time with the most NT people I know and just trying to learn from what they say/do. Sounds weird, but I sometimes listen into other peoples conversations just to learn

mirin

 

[Deleted member 14166]

You cant fake it. You have to have genuine want to talk to random people and be somewhat charismatic. If you didnt cultivate these skills in 20 years, its never gonna happen in your lifetime

im 18

 

[klamus]

im 18

Same thing

 

[Deleted member 14978]

You cant fake it. You have to have genuine want to talk to random people and be somewhat charismatic. If you didnt cultivate these skills in 20 years, its never gonna happen in your lifetime

I disagree. Socialising like other things is a skill you can learn/practice. The more you do it the better you will get.

 

[klamus]

I disagree. Socialising like other things is a skill you can learn/practice. The more you do it the better you will get.

No I mean that after certain age you are not gonna make friends anymore unless you are someone who people benefit from. So someone with status, money or just chad. If you have to ask how to social maxx, you clearly dont have anything to offer to random people.

You arent going to hang out with your work colleagues. If you are in college at best you will only occasionally drink with your college friends.

If you didnt make a large friend network during your adolescence and teenage years, its over for you friends wise. Just accept it or kys and reroll

 

[Deleted member 14978]

So someone with status, money or just chad. If you have to ask how to social maxx, you clearly dont have anything to offer to random people.

yes, only rich chads are socialising. The rest of the 99% of people are just rotting in their room

 

[klamus]

yes, only rich chads are socialising. The rest of the 99% of people are just rotting in their room

Nono, the people that are socializing made friends during their adolescence. They dont come to looksmaxx for "advice"

 

[enzo]

yes, only rich chads are socialising. The rest of the 99% of people are just rotting in their room

Read the rest of his post, bainlet.

 

[Primordial]

you have to be interested in talking to other people, you have to be interested in that person otherwise you'll start a conversation you don't give a shit about. You have to give a shit first. I for one am not interested in anyone but myself so my world is closed and I stay to myself (which is fine to me for now). You have to open your world, take away insecurities you have and find an interest in the world and people from the bottom of the heart. Interest can't be faked, you have to genuinely have an adventurous, optimistic mindset that starts things first. People would rather have positive company than no company at all, you kinda have to become a people person. Maybe I'm taking it to an extreme but u get what I mean

 

[klamus]

you have to be interested in talking to other people, you have to be interested in that person otherwise you'll start a conversation you don't give a shit about. You have to give a shit first. I for one am not interested in anyone but myself so my world is closed and I stay to myself (which is fine to me for now). You have to open your world, take away insecurities you have and find an interest in the world and people from the bottom of the heart. Interest can't be faked, you have to genuinely have an adventurous, optimistic mindset that starts things first. People would rather have positive company than no company at all, you kinda have to become a people person. Maybe I'm taking it to an extreme but u get what I mean

This. But it's much harder in practice. I tried going to a club alone on halloween because I'm ldaring 350 days a year anyway. Anyway there's a 15-45 minute line to bars so you would have to talk to the people in front of you or behind you. Staring at someones back or your phone isnt an ideal start to the evening. But then theres the practical problem, the people in front of you or behind you are a friend group. If I was with my friend group I wouldnt want to add a random stranger to my group. So essentially they dont want to talk to you because they would just have to small talk with a stranger and they would completely halt their own little topics, because you are not a part of the topic.

People also know that other people are not that interesting in general. It's the connection between long time friends that makes them interesting. if you start small talk with a stranger in a club, there is very high chance he is not going to be so interesting that you are going to want to talk to him again. I mean sure, women want tall chads but approaching a pack of women alone is fucking difficult. And they are always in a pack.

Then you get inside the club. You have to somewhat analyze the group you are going to approach. How big the group is, male/female ratio, how many chads there are etc.

This is almost literally impossible in Finland. I've had one time when I went drinking to a club where I knew my college classmates were. I didnt really hang out with them that much but I knew the there was someone in the club that I could talk to. Anyway some random guys from northern finland just started talking to me and I hung out with them till closing time. It was fun but it always lasts for exactly the one day, and you cant force that happening. It just happens or not. Most of the time not.

Age also affects. The random guys hanging out with me happened when I was 25. Now I'm 28. It just shows on my face that I dont really wanna be here no matter how hard I mentally "psyche myself out" Clubs are for young people

 

[Primordial]

This. But it's much harder in practice. I tried going to a club alone on halloween because I'm ldaring 350 days a year anyway. Anyway there's a 15-45 minute line to bars so you would have to talk to the people in front of you or behind you. Staring at someones back or your phone isnt an ideal start to the evening. But then theres the practical problem, the people in front of you or behind you are a friend group. If I was with my friend group I wouldnt want to add a random stranger to my group. So essentially they dont want to talk to you because they would just have to small talk with a stranger and they would completely halt their own little topics, because you are not a part of the topic.

People also know that other people are not that interesting in general. It's the connection between long time friends that makes them interesting. if you start small talk with a stranger in a club, there is very high chance he is not going to be so interesting that you are going to want to talk to him again. I mean sure, women want tall chads but approaching a pack of women alone is fucking difficult. And they are always in a pack.

Then you get inside the club. You have to somewhat analyze the group you are going to approach. How big the group is, male/female ratio, how many chads there are etc.

This is almost literally impossible in Finland. I've had one time when I went drinking to a club where I knew my college classmates were. I didnt really hang out with them that much but I knew the there was someone in the club that I could talk to. Anyway some random guys from northern finland just started talking to me and I hung out with them till closing time. It was fun but it always lasts for exactly the one day, and you cant force that happening. It just happens or not. Most of the time not.

Age also affects. The random guys hanging out with me happened when I was 25. Now I'm 28. It just shows on my face that I dont really wanna be here no matter how hard I mentally "psyche myself out" Clubs are for young people

Easiest way to make friends is through work imo, I moved to this area with none of my old friends and did a labouring job and I worked with people my age (21) and that built a friendship over time where they would invite me out with them and check up on how I'm doing. I was the most quiet in the group but because I was a good listener and said only positive shit and made them laugh at least once a day unintentionally I became a positive presence. Going to bars and clubs you're only going to see people once so even if you meet people it doesn't matter because you haven't impacted their lives that much.

 

[klamus]

Easiest way to make friends is through work imo, I moved to this area with none of my old friends and did a labouring job and I worked with people my age (21) and that built a friendship over time where they would invite me out with them and check up on how I'm doing. I was the most quiet in the group but because I was a good listener and said only positive shit and made them laugh at least once a day unintentionally I became a positive presence. Going to bars and clubs you're only going to see people once so even if you meet people it doesn't matter because you haven't impacted their lives that much.

I dont know anyone that hangs out with their work colleagues.

 

[Primordial]

I dont know anyone that hangs out with their work colleagues.

maybe its an age difference

 

[Deleted member 14166]

maybe its an age difference

how old are you ?

 

[Primordial]

how old are you ?

21

 

[Deleted member 14166]

21

any life lessons you can give me I'm 18btw

 

[klamus]

maybe its an age difference

Probably office people hang out less. I was in construction for a summer and made one friend there. We went to bar couple of times after that but 2 guys hanging out is not a long time recipe unless you are really alike.

 

[Primordial]

any life lessons you can give me I'm 18btw

make sure you get a degree and finish your education

 

[Deleted member 14166]

make sure you get a degree and finish your education

yeah im planning to be a chemical engineer , I just wanna work for 5 years and do stock trading as my part time hobby , if that become successful and I make enough money I wanna buy a cottage in the countryside and live

 

[Primordial]

yeah im planning to be a chemical engineer , I just wanna work for 5 years and do stock trading as my part time hobby , if that become successful and I make enough money I wanna buy a cottage in the countryside and live

that's good you got a plan, I wish you the best

 

[Deleted member 14166]

that's good you got a plan, I wish you the best

thanks bro likewise , what are you doing now you're in uni ?

 

[Primordial]

thanks bro likewise , what are you doing now you're in uni ?

I dropped out of uni in my second year which is why I said to finish it cos I regret dropping out, but I'm studying towards gas engineering now

 

[Deleted member 14166]

I dropped out of uni in my second year which is why I said to finish it cos I regret dropping out, but I'm studying towards gas engineering now

nice man , where are you from?

 

[Primordial]

nice man , where are you from?

UK, wbu?

 

[Deleted member 14166]

UK, wbu?

same

 

[TeenAscender]

You cant fake it. You have to have genuine want to talk to random people and be somewhat charismatic. If you didnt cultivate these skills in 20 years, its never gonna happen in your lifetime

nope u gotta start somewhere, and if thats faking it thats cool. You need to start before 16 I'd say before its over