I [22f] girlfriend just say my [24m] boyfriend lose a fight and can't help but feel less attracted to him

ElySioNs

ElySioNs

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So about a week ago me and my boyfriend let's call him jim was at a bar. James a big guy goes to the gym a lot and has a lot of muscle to show for it I've always liked this about him although I'm not normally into muscly guys. But I always imagined it meant I was protected around him although I've never seen him show any sort of aggressive or violent side he's always been pretty chill and peaceful.

Anyway so we was at this bar when this guy started harassing us (let's call him dick) mainly me. He was this skinny preppy looking kid couldn't have been older than 20. The perfect way to describe him was he looked like a spoiled kid with a rich dad. He had this medium length curly hair and was wearing a clearly expensive suit hanging out with his asshole friends probably coworkers who all looked and dressed the same. They was all being obnoxiously loud all night and he wouldn't stop saying rude sexual things to me all night. James tried to tell him to stop but he wouldn't everytime james said anything this dick would start barrating my boyfriend about how he probably dousnt have a job just said a bunch of other stupid stuff you'd expect a stuck up idiot like dick to say. Anyway we move tables but these assholes keep shouting stuff over. The bartender didn't do anything about this either which pissed us both of so we eventually decided to leave.

On the way out is where things got bad. So James decides to walk past them on the way out to say something i try to talk him out of it but he wouldn't listen part of me didn't want him to listen at the time anyway. He walks right up to dick and asks him if he always talks to women like that. Dick gives him back some shitfaced answer and they talk shit back and forth for a while. Eventually dick says my boyfriend muscles are just glamour muscles and that he's not scared of him. James gets mad and the standard guy rituals of starting a fight happen. The hole why don't we take this outside business. Here's where things get real bad dick basically stands says why not right here and punches my boyfriend in the stomach I can't even say it was a sucka punch everyone knew it was coming :( then James basically cowers like a scared cat dousnt even try to fight back gets hit in the head falls and dick just proceeds to kick him in the ribs till his friends pull him of leaving James whimpering on the floor and the bartender kicks everyone involved out including us.

Ever since then I've just found it hard to look at him the same. He's always been a peaceful almost feminine person but i guess with him being so big and a little older than me I just saw him as big and masculine. I'm not one of these girls who needs a "alpha" but seeing your boyfriend cower from a skinny looking teenagers punches get knocked down and left basically crying is difficult thing to see. He's just been so emasculated in my eyes. I haven't told him but I can tell he's embarrassed and knows he's not the same in my eyes no matter how hard I try to hide it. I still love him just as much but this has affected my attraction. I've tried telling myself the skinny guy probably knew how to fight or he wouldn't have been so confident against a big guy like James and that the wimpering (which is what I have the biggest problem with) wasn't from pain but from embarrassment. But how do I get over this? will I get over this? Has anyone had any similar experiences? And most importantly what should I'd do should I tell him should I not tell him is there anything I can do to fix this and make him an man in my eyes again.

Lt:dr: boyfriend got beat up and I've lost attraction to him.

Extra information: I've seen boyfriends lose fights in the past and it hasn't bothered me it's the nature of how bad he looked that bothers me.
 
  • JFL
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This is completely understandable OP! Your boyfriend hid his real personality behind the one you were attracted to. This is basically LYING. I would feel completely betrayed. I would suggest you find someone that fits your expectations better and leave him. I mean, he lied to you, manipulated you, giving you a false sense of security... This can't work out! Wish you the best, OP!
 
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