ElySioNs
Mercenary
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
- Posts
- 2,044
- Reputation
- 4,235
Let me say this first. I know what I did was terrible, I fully admit it and I wont' try to justify my cheating at all.
Last night I was out with some friends and the combination of alcohol and a handsome stranger flirting with me led to a terrible decision. I ended up sleeping with the guy but as soon as I realized what I did, I left his place pretty much in tears at 4 am and went back home. Thankfully my boyfriend was already asleep.
Since I got home I've been able to hide my guilt so far but I know I can't do it forever. The problem is, and I know it makes incredibly selfish, breaking up with my boyfriend isn't an option. I love him beyond belief and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know what I did was wrong, but I know it was a one-time mistake and it really won't ever happen again. I get that this is standard cheater talk but I know for certain it really won't happen again. The other guy is totally out of the picture. I can't remember his name even and it was just sex, not a trace of feelings involved.
But I also know that it's not fair to my boyfriend to let him continue being with me under the assumption that I've always been faithful to him. Believe me, I know telling him is the right thing to do and I really do want to tell him, but I can't risk losing him, I wouldn't survive without my boyfriend. I hate to say the next part, especially since everything I've already said makes me a piece of shit, but I'm almost totally dependent on my boyfriend. I live with him and our income gap is just comical. I know it makes me a selfish monster but I literally would be out on the street if he broke up with me.
what do I do? I know the morally right thing to do is tell him and honestly I deserve to be kicked to the curb, but I'm not exactly a saint, so I can't do that. I don't want to lose my boyfriend and I know he would most likely leave me if I told him. At the same time I don't feel it's totally necessary to tell him especially since I know the cheating was definitely a one-off.
I've been wracked with guilt all day. I know I'm gonna get a lot of responses further telling me I'm a piece of shit and I know it's rightfully deserved but if you could please spare judgment for just a moment, it would mean the world to me. I've never felt so ashamed and guilty before.
tl;dr: Cheated on perfect boyfriend last night. I know I should tell him but I love him to bits, the cheating was definitely a one time thing, and I completely depend on my boyfriend.
Last night I was out with some friends and the combination of alcohol and a handsome stranger flirting with me led to a terrible decision. I ended up sleeping with the guy but as soon as I realized what I did, I left his place pretty much in tears at 4 am and went back home. Thankfully my boyfriend was already asleep.
Since I got home I've been able to hide my guilt so far but I know I can't do it forever. The problem is, and I know it makes incredibly selfish, breaking up with my boyfriend isn't an option. I love him beyond belief and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know what I did was wrong, but I know it was a one-time mistake and it really won't ever happen again. I get that this is standard cheater talk but I know for certain it really won't happen again. The other guy is totally out of the picture. I can't remember his name even and it was just sex, not a trace of feelings involved.
But I also know that it's not fair to my boyfriend to let him continue being with me under the assumption that I've always been faithful to him. Believe me, I know telling him is the right thing to do and I really do want to tell him, but I can't risk losing him, I wouldn't survive without my boyfriend. I hate to say the next part, especially since everything I've already said makes me a piece of shit, but I'm almost totally dependent on my boyfriend. I live with him and our income gap is just comical. I know it makes me a selfish monster but I literally would be out on the street if he broke up with me.
what do I do? I know the morally right thing to do is tell him and honestly I deserve to be kicked to the curb, but I'm not exactly a saint, so I can't do that. I don't want to lose my boyfriend and I know he would most likely leave me if I told him. At the same time I don't feel it's totally necessary to tell him especially since I know the cheating was definitely a one-off.
I've been wracked with guilt all day. I know I'm gonna get a lot of responses further telling me I'm a piece of shit and I know it's rightfully deserved but if you could please spare judgment for just a moment, it would mean the world to me. I've never felt so ashamed and guilty before.
tl;dr: Cheated on perfect boyfriend last night. I know I should tell him but I love him to bits, the cheating was definitely a one time thing, and I completely depend on my boyfriend.
