ElySioNs
Mercenary
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
- Posts
- 2,044
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My boyfriend and I were together for 6 years. We were each other's first in everything. I would say our relationship was going well and was healthy. However, I went out of town with a friend and met a guy who became part of our group. One night, we were all hanging out in a room, and after some time, I was left alone with this guy. He started kissing me and suddenly put on a condom. I told him to stop, but he didn’t listen. He continued and forced himself on me while I was crying. The entire incident lasted less than 10 minutes. To make things worse, the condom got stuck inside me, which made me even more furious. I left the room in shock, unable to process what had just happened. I felt so ashamed that I didn’t tell anyone.
A few months later, the guy messaged me, asking to meet. I don’t know why, but I agreed. I went to see him without telling my boyfriend and ended up spending the night with him. We had sex again. I don’t understand how I could have let go of the anger I felt from the first incident and allowed this to happen. All I knew at that point was that I needed to break up with my boyfriend. I couldn’t bear to look at the love of my life, knowing I had betrayed him for someone who had done me wrong. When I broke up with him, I didn't tell him the reason. And, I am happy that he is finally happy with someone else.
Now, I don’t talk to anyone anymore. I don’t think I can see myself in another relationship, knowing I am capable of betraying someone who loved me so much. I also don't think I can forgive myself. How do I move past this?
A few months later, the guy messaged me, asking to meet. I don’t know why, but I agreed. I went to see him without telling my boyfriend and ended up spending the night with him. We had sex again. I don’t understand how I could have let go of the anger I felt from the first incident and allowed this to happen. All I knew at that point was that I needed to break up with my boyfriend. I couldn’t bear to look at the love of my life, knowing I had betrayed him for someone who had done me wrong. When I broke up with him, I didn't tell him the reason. And, I am happy that he is finally happy with someone else.
Now, I don’t talk to anyone anymore. I don’t think I can see myself in another relationship, knowing I am capable of betraying someone who loved me so much. I also don't think I can forgive myself. How do I move past this?
