I ( 29, F) wish that my boyfriend ( 30,M) was more of a man . Help?

[Vermilioncore]

Hi Reddit friends,

Would love your advice on this . I have been in a beautiful relationship with my boyfriend for 1.5 years now .We truly are in love with eachother and he is seriously my best friend . He truly has a heart of gold and is very selfless.

HOWEVER…. i am aware that there is no such thing as having the perfect boyfriend , but I am starting to get bothered that my boyfriend isn’t much of a man sometimes . I actually wish he was more of a masculine/dominant person . And I’m not talking about sex or his physicality, because the sex is great and I am very much attracted to him. I am talking about the way he Carrys himself in daily situations .

Let me explain.

1) My boyfriend doesn’t make me feel like I am protected/safe when I’m with him.​

Example - one time in the middle of the night there was a very loud bang in my kitchen . We both got scared . Got up. He waited for ME to take the lead in going to the kitchen while he followed behind in the back . As a female , that didn’t make me feel good.

2) I wish he was more assertive and not so passive .​

Example - One day I had to drive myself to the ER because I was in a lot of pain . I texted him where I was at. Of course my boyfriend expressed his worries and was constantly in communication with me , but I wish he was assertive enough to physically come be with me when I was in there ( he had the day off of work). Instead he kept texting me if I was ok and how I was feeling . I feel like any real man would ask if I needed him there with me. Hours passed and I asked him if he could come to me , which then of course he happily agreed to come . I just feel like I shouldn’t need to ask these things at this point in our relationship, right ?

3) I wish he verbalized things more to make me feel wanted and loved. I feel like I am always the one saying “ I love you “ first . I’m always the one saying “ you look so handsome today “ first . Of course he’s said these things first to me , but 9 times out of 10 … I am the one saying it first .​

TLDR - I feel like I have to tap into my masculinity more with him because he is so passive . Do you think this is something I can talk to him about ? Or is this just a sign that he isn’t the one for me ? I am confused because I can’t picture my life without him. He is everything to me . I just feel like I need to be loved more by him , If that makes any sense .

 

[Juandigomigo22]

Hi Reddit friends,

Would love your advice on this . I have been in a beautiful relationship with my boyfriend for 1.5 years now .We truly are in love with eachother and he is seriously my best friend . He truly has a heart of gold and is very selfless.

HOWEVER…. i am aware that there is no such thing as having the perfect boyfriend , but I am starting to get bothered that my boyfriend isn’t much of a man sometimes . I actually wish he was more of a masculine/dominant person . And I’m not talking about sex or his physicality, because the sex is great and I am very much attracted to him. I am talking about the way he Carrys himself in daily situations .

Let me explain.

1) My boyfriend doesn’t make me feel like I am protected/safe when I’m with him.​

Example - one time in the middle of the night there was a very loud bang in my kitchen . We both got scared . Got up. He waited for ME to take the lead in going to the kitchen while he followed behind in the back . As a female , that didn’t make me feel good.

2) I wish he was more assertive and not so passive .​

Example - One day I had to drive myself to the ER because I was in a lot of pain . I texted him where I was at. Of course my boyfriend expressed his worries and was constantly in communication with me , but I wish he was assertive enough to physically come be with me when I was in there ( he had the day off of work). Instead he kept texting me if I was ok and how I was feeling . I feel like any real man would ask if I needed him there with me. Hours passed and I asked him if he could come to me , which then of course he happily agreed to come . I just feel like I shouldn’t need to ask these things at this point in our relationship, right ?

3) I wish he verbalized things more to make me feel wanted and loved. I feel like I am always the one saying “ I love you “ first . I’m always the one saying “ you look so handsome today “ first . Of course he’s said these things first to me , but 9 times out of 10 … I am the one saying it first .​

TLDR - I feel like I have to tap into my masculinity more with him because he is so passive . Do you think this is something I can talk to him about ? Or is this just a sign that he isn’t the one for me ? I am confused because I can’t picture my life without him. He is everything to me . I just feel like I need to be loved more by him , If that makes any sense .

STFUUUU

 

[Deleted member 78221]

 

[Dendoni]

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Are these them? He looks beta