ElySioNs
Mercenary
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- Feb 7, 2021
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Twenty years ago when I was 18 years old I shot an adult scene (porn). I didn’t intend to shoot the scene, I was going with my friend for support and when she chickened out at the last minute I stepped in and did it.
I regretted it immediately after and regretted it even more when I saw it on the internet. The video which was about 30 minutes long made its way around, mostly being shared on file sharing servers. This was post Napster so there were a lot of knockoffs at the time. But after a while the video seemed to disappear and nobody I knew ever found out about it.
I met my husband a few years after I shot that scene and I never told him. I was ashamed and prayed that he would never find out. He never did and we’ve been married for 15 years and have two children together. He is the love of my life and he satisfies me in every way.
I check frequently for that video that I made and unfortunately last week I found it again on an adult site. It’s one of the more popular sites and I am now terrified that someone will find it. It could be someone that my husband works with or a friend of my daughters. I’m just terrified.
My question is, should I finally come clean and tell my husband? I know that he won’t leave me if I do. He knows I was rather promiscuous before I met him and he’s been ok with all of the crazy things I did before him. But this is the one thing I never told him. It’s the thing I am most ashamed of and I don’t want him to ever see it.
And that is what is preventing me from telling him, because I don’t want him to see it. There are many reason for this, the biggest for me is that I don’t want my husband to feel insecure. The man I shot that scene with had a very large penis and I made kind of a big deal about it when I shot the scene. My husband is a little above average in that area but he isn’t close to that guy, but none of the other guys I have even been with were either. I’ve had the best sex of my life with my husband and that’s the truth. But I still feel like he may lose his confidence if he sees that video.
So what do I do? Should I just roll the dice and pray he never finds it or just come clean?
TLDR: I shot an adult scene when I was 18 and my husband doesn’t know. Should I tell him?
EDIT: I’m not giving a link or title of the video so everyone can quit asking. My god I want to erase the video from existence not help spread it further.
I regretted it immediately after and regretted it even more when I saw it on the internet. The video which was about 30 minutes long made its way around, mostly being shared on file sharing servers. This was post Napster so there were a lot of knockoffs at the time. But after a while the video seemed to disappear and nobody I knew ever found out about it.
I met my husband a few years after I shot that scene and I never told him. I was ashamed and prayed that he would never find out. He never did and we’ve been married for 15 years and have two children together. He is the love of my life and he satisfies me in every way.
I check frequently for that video that I made and unfortunately last week I found it again on an adult site. It’s one of the more popular sites and I am now terrified that someone will find it. It could be someone that my husband works with or a friend of my daughters. I’m just terrified.
My question is, should I finally come clean and tell my husband? I know that he won’t leave me if I do. He knows I was rather promiscuous before I met him and he’s been ok with all of the crazy things I did before him. But this is the one thing I never told him. It’s the thing I am most ashamed of and I don’t want him to ever see it.
And that is what is preventing me from telling him, because I don’t want him to see it. There are many reason for this, the biggest for me is that I don’t want my husband to feel insecure. The man I shot that scene with had a very large penis and I made kind of a big deal about it when I shot the scene. My husband is a little above average in that area but he isn’t close to that guy, but none of the other guys I have even been with were either. I’ve had the best sex of my life with my husband and that’s the truth. But I still feel like he may lose his confidence if he sees that video.
So what do I do? Should I just roll the dice and pray he never finds it or just come clean?
TLDR: I shot an adult scene when I was 18 and my husband doesn’t know. Should I tell him?
EDIT: I’m not giving a link or title of the video so everyone can quit asking. My god I want to erase the video from existence not help spread it further.
