I am a piece of shit

[ghostfaceguyinvegas]

I am a piece of shit. Every single day I continue to degrade more and more.

I am doing horrible in school. I quit football. I can’t get a girl. I can’t make friends. I have no friends.

I am working a night shift at the gas station right now and I am making a fucking post on this website about what a colossal piece of shit I am.

I only hurt people and I don’t help them. I can’t stop myself because it feels like I was pre-programmed. Like every ounce of this piece of shit I have become was intended to happen. As if my ugly face elicited certain reactions out of people and made them dislike me instantly. It’s probably true too.

I’m too much a pussy to even kill myself. Lately I want to but I feel like there’s hope at the end of the tunnel even though I know that this tunnel ends in the same black hole for all of us regardless of what you look like or are. I don’t even feel like anything is real anymore it feels like I’m a piece of shit trapped in a simulation where I have the ability to make certain decisions but the outcome is always the same.

 

[Dogs]

Personally I've been starting to feel like the only true cope is religion, I want to start reading the Bible or something

 

[Demir]

Mogs me

 

[ghostfaceguyinvegas]

Personally I've been starting to feel like the only true cope is religion, I want to start reading the Bible or something

That used to be my cope, but I just can’t believe in that stuff anymore. It’s over.

 

[Pu33]

Death is an absolute and a guarentee whether it happens now or in 80 years. You are in pain but its an illogical choice to make in the moment. It sounds like you are self aware of your own problems and behaviours. What are you doing right now? Are you posting on a website? You can decide what you want to write. You feel like you are pre-programmed but that is your emotive perception. Your past resides in the memories you have stored, memories can be faulty and sometimes dont even last. You don't know what is going to happen in the next 5 minutes or 5 years there is no guarentee. You have now, in 5 minutes or 5 years (if you are there) you will have the now. You can choose how you want to respond to any given situation. Do you have to hate yourself now?

You can keep letting what has happened dictate your feelings and behaviour but it wont change anything. Start by making better decisions in the moment and there will be better outcomes. Live in the now and not the past.

 

[StoicNihilist]

Yeah bro, it sucks failing at literally everything in life. I feel your pain.

 

[turkproducer]

Make friends - just be social but not annoying, i know it’s easier said than done but very possible, being too eager fucks you over though

- Getting a girlfriend well first i’d have to know your stats

- helping people is easy, just be positive but have self respect and boundaries

- school is easy, just study and ask for extra pieces of homework

 

[ghostfaceguyinvegas]

Death is an absolute and a guarentee whether it happens now or in 80 years. You are in pain but its an illogical choice to make in the moment. It sounds like you are self aware of your own problems and behaviours. What are you doing right now? Are you posting on a website? You can decide what you want to write. You feel like you are pre-programmed but that is your emotive perception. Your past resides in the memories you have stored, memories can be faulty and sometimes dont even last. You don't know what is going to happen in the next 5 minutes or 5 years there is no guarentee. You have now, in 5 minutes or 5 years (if you are there) you will have the now. You can choose how you want to respond to any given situation. Do you have to hate yourself now?

You can keep letting what has happened dictate your feelings and behaviour but it wont change anything. Start by making better decisions in the moment and there will be better outcomes. Live in the now and not the past.

It’s hard to explain. It’s like gravity, you can resist it but you can’t defy it.

This world is a fucked up place that left me with a fucked up perception of it. I can’t make it go away. I can pretend to be all happy, I can overcompensate and be overly nice, I can do all kinds of shit but in the end of the day I revert right back into the piece of shit I am because that’s all I know how to be.

 

[framecel222]

not a letter

 

[Chadelite]

not a pixel

 

[Deleted member 1774]

nice bro

 

[Pu33]

It’s hard to explain. It’s like gravity, you can resist it but you can’t defy it.

This world is a fucked up place that left me with a fucked up perception of it. I can’t make it go away. I can pretend to be all happy, I can overcompensate and be overly nice, I can do all kinds of shit but in the end of the day I revert right back into the piece of shit I am because that’s all I know how to be.

It's fucked up because it does not fit in with what your idea of a perfect world is. your perception shapes your world if you are conscious of it. Get off social media and sites like this, start engaging in activities you enjoy and don't dwell on negative thoughts if you can help it. What other world have you known? this is your world and you can decide how you engage in it.