I am afraid of who I really am.

[MoggerGaston]

I had a terrible shroom-experience yesterday. So bad I had to vomit and felt sick for hours.

But it was not because the shrooms were bad for me, it is because I couldn't accept what my mind was telling me.

I am a scared pussy, I couldn't accept reality. I was afraid of feeling the pain and despair of what my life really is like.

It's sad really. Having to live this constant fake-life, yet being affraid to be real.

 

[Numb The Pain]

You just had a bad trip, bhai. It happens.

 

[MoggerGaston]

You just had a bad trip, bhai. It happens.

yes it was a bad-trip, but no you are wrong to just discard what happened as a 'badtrip'. It's like you say 'bro its just chemicals in your brain man they didnt mix in the proper way man, u shouldn't care.'

but that is totally NOT THE VIBE. I was very mentally clear when I was tripping balls. The reason why I had a bad trip is because I was afraid of myself, I couldn't accept who I am.

Man I don't know if you can understand this. But I am literally affraid of who I am, who I have become. I can't accept an idea as: ' Nah you aren't right' on a deeper level. I couldn't do it. It was such a painfull experience and it was only when I rejected the truth, because I was afraid of accepting it, that I started vomitting and couldn't cope anymore.

Bad trips happen for a reason. it is because your emotional state is bad. Don't disregard bad-trips as being useless.

You are disregarding severe human-emotion here and you and I know how rare it is for a traumatized man to feel strong emotion. I can personally only feel strong emotion on drugs, so feeling these intense bad emotions is not something to ignore.

 

[Numb The Pain]

yes it was a bad-trip, but no you are wrong to just discard what happened as a 'badtrip'. It's like you say 'bro its just chemicals in your brain man they didnt mix in the proper way man, u shouldn't care.'

but that is totally NOT THE VIBE. I was very mentally clear when I was tripping balls. The reason why I had a bad trip is because I was afraid of myself, I couldn't accept who I am.

Man I don't know if you can understand this. But I am literally affraid of who I am, who I have become. I can't accept an idea as: ' Nah you aren't right' on a deeper level. I couldn't do it. It was such a painfull experience and it was only when I rejected the truth, because I was afraid of accepting it, that I started vomitting and couldn't cope anymore.

Bad trips happen for a reason. it is because your emotional state is bad. Don't disregard bad-trips as being useless.

You are disregarding severe human-emotion here and you and I know how rare it is for a traumatized man to feel strong emotion. I can personally only feel strong emotion on drugs, so feeling these intense bad emototions is not something to ignore.

But even I had a trip gone bad even though no bad emotions were involved. It really does just happen like that sometimes. I had neutral vibes going in though but it went bad before I even knew it. Without the influence of any emotions. So that’s why I’m thinking, even in your case, it was just a bad trip. Sometimes you can prepare yourself in the best way but you can still end up in a bad trip anyway. It’s unpredictable.

 

[MoggerGaston]

But even I had a trip gone bad even though no bad emotions were involved.

I don't understand this. Because a drug-experience is only bad when your emotions are bad, in my experience. Else it wouldn't be bad?
You can be vomitting and feel good. This is possible. It's an emotional high with a body which can't cope.

So no. I don't believe you.

Like when things are getting too much for you, you can feel anxiety, pain, fear. But that is emotional. You are resisting what is happening through the drugs, you dont like what is happening. Your body responds physically. And this then can end up in you vomitting or other physical pains.

You say no bad emotions were involved but it's hard for me to believe due to my own drug-experiences. There is always some anxiety involved, atleast for me, must be for you too. That is emotional struggle which will be magnified by the drugs you are using.

I don't think you are lieing, I believe that you felt 'natural' going into whatever drugs you used. But then thing start coming up and you start feeling sick because you can't accept them. It's very relatable in this sense. But I think you are lieing when you say there is nothing going on. You are feeling sick for a reason other than that 'the drugs make me feel sick'. I don't buy that.

 

[Numb The Pain]

I don't understand this. Because a drug-experience is only bad when your emotions are bad, in my experience. Else it wouldn't be bad?
You can be vomitting and feel good. This is possible. It's an emotional high with a body which can't cope.

So no. I don't believe you.

Like when things are getting too much for you, you can feel anxiety, pain, fear. But that is emotional. You are resisting what is happening through the drugs, you dont like what is happening. Your body responds physically. And this then can end up in you vomitting or other physical pains.

You say no bad emotions were involved but it's hard for me to believe due to my own drug-experiences. There is always some anxiety involved, atleast for me, must be for you too. That is emotional struggle which will be magnified by the drugs you are using.

I don't think you are lieing, I believe that you felt 'natural' going into whatever drugs you used. But then thing start coming up and you start feeling sick because you can't accept them. It's very relatable in this sense. But I think you are lieing when you say there is nothing going on. You are feeling sick for a reason other than that 'the drugs make me feel sick'. I don't buy that.

Feeling good and puking? Don’t you mean feeling good after puking? No, I think in my experience I puked because I ate too much. They say you need to be on an empty stomach when you take acid and I didn’t do it on an empty stomach at that time. I also took more than I should have, but I don’t recall feeling anxious. I was in a “meh, idc” mood.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Feeling good and puking? Don’t you mean feeling good after puking? No, I think in my experience I puked because I ate too much. They say you need to be on an empty stomach when you take acid and I didn’t do it on an empty stomach at that time. I also took more than I should have, but I don’t recall feeling anxious. I was in a “meh, idc” mood.

There is nothing wrong with puking in essence. I can puke and still feel okay/good.

I am talking from personal experience.
When i puke from too much alcohol, it's mostly that I am ashamed from what I am doing and how that doesn't match what I should be doing/feeling.

Yes you feel physically horrible, but there is an emotional pain involved.
Alcohol is mostly a drug which numbs your emotions. But if you have to puke on shrooms or acid, you are actually extremely emotional and aren't numb whatsoever.
It's different.

And yes you are right. Be on an empty stomach when you are doing heavy drugs is a top-tier tip. Your body simply can't cope with the emotion and will start feeling sick at times. With an empty stomache it is easier to navigate these things.

It's also easier to navigate these things when you are in a safe environment, are listening to music you like and have friends surrounding you.

 

[Numb The Pain]

There is nothing wrong with puking in essence. I can puke and still feel okay/good.

I am talking from personal experience.
When i puke from too much alcohol, it's mostly that I am ashamed from what I am doing and how that doesn't match what I should be doing/feeling.

Yes you feel physically horrible, but there is an emotional pain involved.
Alcohol is mostly a drug which numbs your emotions. But if you have to puke on shrooms or acid, you are actually extremely emotional and aren't numb whatsoever.
It's different.

And yes you are right. Be on an empty stomach when you are doing heavy drugs is a top-tier tip. Your body simply can't cope with the emotion and will start feeling sick at times. With an empty stomache it is easier to navigate these things.

It's also easier to navigate these things when you are in a safe environment, are listening to music you like and have friends surrounding you.

I absolutely hate puking.

 

[MoggerGaston]

I absolutely hate puking.

On good nights I have puked and kept on partying. Kissing some girl (tasting my puke) minutes later lmao.

I can puke as a release because I've had too much beer, food. It's a release, I feel better afterwards.

 

[Numb The Pain]

On good nights I have puked and kept on partying. Kissing some girl (tasting my puke) minutes later lmao.

I can puke as a release because I've had too much beer, food. It's a release, I feel better afterwards.

That’s absolutely disgusting.

 

[MoggerGaston]

That’s absolutely disgusting.

Yes which is why it is so hard to believe in NT-theory.

Chad can taste like puke and it is okay. Incel tastes like berries&cream but is rejected.

Over.

 

[Numb The Pain]

Yes which is why it is so hard to believe in NT-theory.

Chad can taste like puke and it is okay. Incel tastes like berries&cream but is rejected.

Over.

So basically you admit to being a chad?

 

[Lucent]

I’ve seen you talk about taking shrooms 3 times now can you shut the fuck up I don’t care

 

[MoggerGaston]

So basically you admit to being a chad?

in some occasions I am chad.

I hope you can understand I feel subhuman 99% of the time. But then I have this one moment, super-rare, where suddenly I am elevated towards a higher status somehow, I am appreciated, I am valued, somehow I am now attractive.

You had the same on the flight of yours where the attendant flirted with you.

I am subhuman truecel 99% of the time. I go on raves all the time, nobody flirts with me. girls reject me. Then I have this one positive experience, first time this year, people immediately call me fakecel. Not realizing that the only reason I am sharing this is because of how rare it is.

But maybe I should appreciate the positive experiences more than I am doing right now. I feel so subhuman all the time with 0 positive experiences.

Maybe I should appreciate those few rare occasions where I do get treated well, treated like I am chad?!

 

[MoggerGaston]

I’ve seen you talk about taking shrooms 3 times now can you shut the fuck up I don’t care

you are a subhuman scared faggot affraid to take shrooms or do drugs

you aren't welcome in my topic.

 

[Numb The Pain]

in some occasions I am chad.

I hope you can understand I feel subhuman 99% of the time. But then I have this one moment, super-rare, where suddenly I am elevated towards a higher status somehow, I am appreciated, I am valued, somehow I am now attractive.

You had the same on the flight of yours where the attendant flirted with you.

I am subhuman truecel 99% of the time. I go on raves all the time, nobody flirts with me. girls reject me. Then I have this one positive experience, first time this year, people immediately call me fakecel. Not realizing that the only reason I am sharing this is because of how rare it is.

But maybe I should appreciate the positive experiences more than I am doing right now. I feel so subhuman all the time with 0 positive experiences.

Maybe I should appreciate those few rare occasions where I do get treated well, treated like I am chad?!

Yes, I was gonna say I understand where you come from. I feel like a true untermensch 99.999999% of the time, but on a rare occasion I think, “Oh, maybe it’s not so bad after all.” But I put myself back in my place and realize this isn’t the case. We are both mentalcels?

 

[purpleyealbino2]

You could have been close to an ego death. Happens to me even from smoking weed sometimes.

 

[twojei]

I had a terrible shroom-experience yesterday. So bad I had to vomit and felt sick for hours.

But it was not because the shrooms were bad for me, it is because I couldn't accept what my mind was telling me.

I am a scared pussy, I couldn't accept reality. I was afraid of feeling the pain and despair of what my life really is like.

It's sad really. Having to live this constant fake-life, yet being affraid to be real.

I think meditation is a better and more compasionate way to get there bro...

 

[Defeatist]

Don’t reject it

 

[twojei]

yes it was a bad-trip, but no you are wrong to just discard what happened as a 'badtrip'. It's like you say 'bro its just chemicals in your brain man they didnt mix in the proper way man, u shouldn't care.'

but that is totally NOT THE VIBE. I was very mentally clear when I was tripping balls. The reason why I had a bad trip is because I was afraid of myself, I couldn't accept who I am.

Man I don't know if you can understand this. But I am literally affraid of who I am, who I have become. I can't accept an idea as: ' Nah you aren't right' on a deeper level. I couldn't do it. It was such a painfull experience and it was only when I rejected the truth, because I was afraid of accepting it, that I started vomitting and couldn't cope anymore.

Bad trips happen for a reason. it is because your emotional state is bad. Don't disregard bad-trips as being useless.

You are disregarding severe human-emotion here and you and I know how rare it is for a traumatized man to feel strong emotion. I can personally only feel strong emotion on drugs, so feeling these intense bad emotions is not something to ignore.

Yeah, I don't know why people cope with "those just are chemicals bro!".

Our fucking feelings matter, our pain matters. By disregarding them as you say, we only create resentment which transforms into depression.

 

[Defeatist]

Yeah, I don't know why people cope with "those just are chemicals bro!".

Our fucking feelings matter, our pain matters. By disregarding them as you say, we only create resentment which transforms into depression.

So you detach from it and recognize its triviality , but that doesn’t mean you reject it

You feel it with passion sorta

 

[twojei]

So you detach from it and recognize its triviality , but that doesn’t mean you reject it

You feel it with passion sorta

Yeah, it is both a "passional" and conscious process at the same time. First, we allow to feel whatever we feel without disregarding it, and then we see it for what it is: feelings, sensations, experiences, neurochemicals, whatever.

The mistake is that in Incel communities people take this to the extreme. They disregard too fast their emotions, but deep down they must know how painful it is to reject the pain just as if didn't matter... Obviously, it matters because well... Pain is simply fucking painful.

 

[Defeatist]

Pain is simply fucking painful.

Like cogito ergo sum

 

[MoggerGaston]

Yes, I was gonna say I understand where you come from. I feel like a true untermensch 99.999999% of the time, but on a rare occasion I think, “Oh, maybe it’s not so bad after all.” But I put myself back in my place and realize this isn’t the case. We are both mentalcels?

Nah I think we are both thinking too black-white.
You and I are not as ugly as we think we are. We are not chads, but we are also not subhumans.

For me personally I wouldn't be able to accept being average-looking. It fills me with disgust and wanting to vomit. I think this is another type of mental disease inside of me.

but otherwise, I think being average-looking somewhat, will allow you to get decent social experiences. Better than the average forum user, better than roting on this forum.

 

[MoggerGaston]

I think meditation is a better and more compasionate way to get there bro...

I like this type of meditation when I am angry/frustrated.

 

[Latinolooksmaxxer]

taking drugs made me realize Im a chad trapped in mtn body

 

[Numb The Pain]

Nah I think we are both thinking too black-white.
You and I are not as ugly as we think we are. We are not chads, but we are also not subhumans.

For me personally I wouldn't be able to accept being average-looking. It fills me with disgust and wanting to vomit. I think this is another type of mental disease inside of me.

but otherwise, I think being average-looking somewhat, will allow you to get decent social experiences. Better than the average forum user, better than roting on this forum.

I don’t know bhai, I gotta be pretty dang ugly for a girl to turn me down without even wanting to know me in the first place.

 

[TheMaxxer333]

Our minds are just one cope away from ropemaxxing

 

[Clark]

Your constant stress about being a failure is a sign of high IQ. Life is too big to give a shit about anything tbh. Thankfully I have a low IQ and I am as happy as ever

 

[Youㅤ]

I am a scared pussy, I couldn't accept reality. I was afraid of feeling the pain and despair of what my life really is like.

u dont have to accept it, change it

accept that u can change

 

[1966Ford]

Hallo boyo, have you considered taking Ayahuasca? I heard some positive reviews on it.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Hallo boyo, have you considered taking Ayahuasca? I heard some positive reviews on it.
View attachment 3447319

Ive done lsd before, its probably similar.

i want to do lsd a few more times, then try salvia.

 

[1966Ford]

Ive done lsd before, its probably similar.

i want to do lsd a few more times, then try salvia.

How the did you even survive the Salvia trip?

 

[MoggerGaston]

How the did you even survive the Salvia trip?

havnet done yet

 

[1966Ford]

havnet done yet

I thought you've done it before

 

[MoggerGaston]

I thought you've done it before

no only lsd i just said