I am crippled mentally.

[Deleted member 21467]

I don’t belong where many people belong, such as social gatherings, school, work, etc. Bottom line is I am a neurodivergent human who is in touch with the essence, therefore I repulse many people. But as confident as I try to be, the company of other people (especially in school) does at times really affect me.

Everyday it feels like time is running quicker and quicker ahead of me. I say to myself “when will this be over?”, as I ignore the outer world since it’s too much to handle.

I feel like absolute shit every time I leave the door. I get anxiety at the store, at school, even walking outside gives me anxiety. My self esteem has been dragged through the dirt.

I have no drive to do anything, because I feel so trapped in my own life by other people. Every time I try to change, I get pushed back down into my original spot. It all seems so pointless to me.

I‘m tired of pretending to be confident, I’m tired of pretending to care about school work, and I’m tired of taking shit from people. I’m tired of being tired. I don’t care about any of these things. I just want to sit down, stay in my cacoon, read books, listen to rain, and research online.

Society likes to prance around this idea that we are all different in our own unique way. That is a fallacy, because if that were the case, why would it make people who are on a higher frequency or people who are in touch with the essence want to die?

 

[Deleted member 32285]

I have exactly the same problem, from years of solitude and self isolation I dont tolerate presence of people in their physical form (except my few relatives that I sometimes talk with). Also knowing the truth (blackpill, loosh farm theory, devil and tricksterish nature of material world) I truly have no intention to be "succesfull" and be part of this fake trashy society of slightly evolved apes anymore. When I was still attending school and college I was in state of constant stress and existencial dread, I often had panic attacks and anger outbursts, I skipped many classes by wandering around the near forest because sitting there in such a state of misery was unbearable. Seeing all those tall attractive males and most foids being overall calm and happy was what hurt me the most, because it shows that my life is not a default and in fact its quite a torture, everytime I hear normies laughing I start to lose my shit.
The worst part of it all isthat your teenage years shape you so if you behaved like an abused neurotic psychotic dog during your "peak" high school years then what awiats you is not any better. Thats why I became neet and dropped out from society entirely, Its not worth it, even dying from starvation would be better than living like this for another 40 years.

 

[Deleted member 4397]

I have exactly the same problem, from years of solitude and self isolation I dont tolerate presence of people in their physical form (except my few relatives that I sometimes talk with). Also knowing the truth (blackpill, loosh farm theory, devil and tricksterish nature of material world) I truly have no intention to be "succesfull" and be part of this fake trashy society of slightly evolved apes anymore. When I was still attending school and college I was in state of constant stress and existencial dread, I often had panic attacks and anger outbursts, I skipped many classes by wandering around the near forest because sitting there in such a state of misery was unbearable. Seeing all those tall attractive males and most foids being overall calm and happy was what hurt me the most, because it shows that my life is not a default and in fact its quite a torture, everytime I hear normies laughing I start to lose my shit.
The worst part of it all isthat your teenage years shape you so if you behaved like an abused neurotic psychotic dog during your "peak" high school years then what awiats you is not any better. Thats why I became neet and dropped out from society entirely, Its not worth it, even dying from starvation would be better than living like this for another 40 years.

more about loosh farm theory? intersting

 

[cashmerefraud]

stop jerking off for a year or two and stop taking shi from ppl deadass, no one will help u, gl bro ly

 

[Deleted member 20399]

stop jerking off for a year or two and stop taking shi from ppl deadass, no one will help u, gl bro ly

Dumb ass

 

[Foreverbrad]

I have exactly the same problem, from years of solitude and self isolation I dont tolerate presence of people in their physical form (except my few relatives that I sometimes talk with). Also knowing the truth (blackpill, loosh farm theory, devil and tricksterish nature of material world) I truly have no intention to be "succesfull" and be part of this fake trashy society of slightly evolved apes anymore. When I was still attending school and college I was in state of constant stress and existencial dread, I often had panic attacks and anger outbursts, I skipped many classes by wandering around the near forest because sitting there in such a state of misery was unbearable. Seeing all those tall attractive males and most foids being overall calm and happy was what hurt me the most, because it shows that my life is not a default and in fact its quite a torture, everytime I hear normies laughing I start to lose my shit.
The worst part of it all isthat your teenage years shape you so if you behaved like an abused neurotic psychotic dog during your "peak" high school years then what awiats you is not any better. Thats why I became neet and dropped out from society entirely, Its not worth it, even dying from starvation would be better than living like this for another 40 years.

Relatable. Even with my surgeries I suspect it’s over for me due to the irreparable mental damage. At least I have enough money saved to kinda last to my mid 30s, 40 if stock market is kind.

 

[Deleted member 45942]

I don’t belong where many people belong, such as social gatherings, school, work, etc. Bottom line is I am a neurodivergent human who is in touch with the essence, therefore I repulse many people. But as confident as I try to be, the company of other people (especially in school) does at times really affect me.

Everyday it feels like time is running quicker and quicker ahead of me. I say to myself “when will this be over?”, as I ignore the outer world since it’s too much to handle.

I feel like absolute shit every time I leave the door. I get anxiety at the store, at school, even walking outside gives me anxiety. My self esteem has been dragged through the dirt.

I have no drive to do anything, because I feel so trapped in my own life by other people. Every time I try to change, I get pushed back down into my original spot. It all seems so pointless to me.

I‘m tired of pretending to be confident, I’m tired of pretending to care about school work, and I’m tired of taking shit from people. I’m tired of being tired. I don’t care about any of these things. I just want to sit down, stay in my cacoon, read books, listen to rain, and research online.

Society likes to prance around this idea that we are all different in our own unique way. That is a fallacy, because if that were the case, why would it make people who are on a higher frequency or people who are in touch with the essence want to die?

Tl;Dr it's over cuz I'm an autistic mentalcel

 

[bndar.337]

Can you expand on being 'in touch with the essence' and what does that look like? What words and behaviors would I see?

 

[Deleted member 21467]

Can you expand on being 'in touch with the essence' and what does that look like? What words and behaviors would I see?

People who view the world in a more realistic way and take the time out of there lives to make progress internally