JoeNutz
Philipino
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2024
- Posts
- 493
- Reputation
- 640
I have been abandoned by god, I was once in his graces, the garden of Eden. I had a beautiful loyal white bitch with eyes as blue as the ice, a non supervised low stress job, even made a friend (Which is unheard of in my life!!!!) lived in arguably the most beautiful city in my country, middle of the summer, just got my own car.
Each day of my life was like a MOVIE, I was talking to people, I had a girlfriend, I loved making her laugh, Interesting things would happen in my life I wanted this to never end!! I thought I had beat life, I thought I had won, months and months go by, things are going incredible as always, me and gf are making plans of moving in next year (which her parents were against AND SHE WAS ARGUING WITH HER PARENTS TO MAKE THIS PLAN WORK) so yeah I was ready to glide through life free of the stresses that nearly brought me to suicide before I had met her.
Once more we both worked at the same grocery store it was actually her mother who offered me the job, but I'm wiping tables excited to pick up my girl from work (my shift ended much earlier than hers) and spend the night at hers since her parents were out camping and I'm loving life, I come back to the grocery store later that night, we buy some frozen pizza then I take her back to hers and we spend some time in her bedroom and I play her Xbox while she does her hw, then we make our pizzas and put on some JOJO'SSS (we took turns watching each others favorite anime's) and I enjoy my pizza and we go back down to her room and put on some yt, then we go to bed and she wakes me up then asks me if im ready for something she complains about me not being physically affectionate to her and I don't lean in to kiss at all I just recieve hers, blah blah she leaves me I drive home and vigorously ask god for strength it fucking kills me blah blah blah, I don't want to add too much detail here
but yeah everything has gone to shit my grades are nothing (We go to the same uni but thankfully I haven't seen her there since) I'm unemployed, I just stopped showing up and I haven't tried to find a job since, I moved further from my friends I live in a much more industrial plain looking town I often think of my own suicide I have recent cutting scars across my wrist and forearm (Pussy shit ik) I drink alcohol I smoke cigarretes I smoke weed I stopped going to the gym I just let my life fall apart because I have a strong feeling I'm going to srsly try and take my life so I just use my time and resources to occupy myself with amusement and distractions
I've been abandoned by god, this is my penance for all my sins gluttony pride wrath greed its all come back to make sure I never want to wake up another day, It's all gone everything was taken from me, everything I get from now on will be a rotted version of what I once had I have no motivation to better my life or help myself so I just continue distracting myself until everything feels strong enough to go through with it. I'm pretty high rn if you can't tell
Each day of my life was like a MOVIE, I was talking to people, I had a girlfriend, I loved making her laugh, Interesting things would happen in my life I wanted this to never end!! I thought I had beat life, I thought I had won, months and months go by, things are going incredible as always, me and gf are making plans of moving in next year (which her parents were against AND SHE WAS ARGUING WITH HER PARENTS TO MAKE THIS PLAN WORK) so yeah I was ready to glide through life free of the stresses that nearly brought me to suicide before I had met her.
Once more we both worked at the same grocery store it was actually her mother who offered me the job, but I'm wiping tables excited to pick up my girl from work (my shift ended much earlier than hers) and spend the night at hers since her parents were out camping and I'm loving life, I come back to the grocery store later that night, we buy some frozen pizza then I take her back to hers and we spend some time in her bedroom and I play her Xbox while she does her hw, then we make our pizzas and put on some JOJO'SSS (we took turns watching each others favorite anime's) and I enjoy my pizza and we go back down to her room and put on some yt, then we go to bed and she wakes me up then asks me if im ready for something she complains about me not being physically affectionate to her and I don't lean in to kiss at all I just recieve hers, blah blah she leaves me I drive home and vigorously ask god for strength it fucking kills me blah blah blah, I don't want to add too much detail here
but yeah everything has gone to shit my grades are nothing (We go to the same uni but thankfully I haven't seen her there since) I'm unemployed, I just stopped showing up and I haven't tried to find a job since, I moved further from my friends I live in a much more industrial plain looking town I often think of my own suicide I have recent cutting scars across my wrist and forearm (Pussy shit ik) I drink alcohol I smoke cigarretes I smoke weed I stopped going to the gym I just let my life fall apart because I have a strong feeling I'm going to srsly try and take my life so I just use my time and resources to occupy myself with amusement and distractions
I've been abandoned by god, this is my penance for all my sins gluttony pride wrath greed its all come back to make sure I never want to wake up another day, It's all gone everything was taken from me, everything I get from now on will be a rotted version of what I once had I have no motivation to better my life or help myself so I just continue distracting myself until everything feels strong enough to go through with it. I'm pretty high rn if you can't tell
