D
Deleted member 78221
Neurodivergent
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2024
- Posts
- 3,106
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I am aware that the title might sound provocative, but hear me out.
We met when we were both 20 and quickly hit it off. We were both young and more or less broke so we both relied heavily on the help of parents. As such, our financial statuses were more or less the same.
But then, changes came. We both finished our respective unis and got more respectable jobs. However, my degree ended up earning me much more money. Don’t get me wrong, nothing too crazy, but combined with my PhD course I earn almost 2x what he does.
And so the troubles came. First off it wasn’t too bad - as we live together he asked me not to split the living costs 50/50 but proportionally to the income. Although technically unfair, it sounded logically to me so I agreed. However, it all went downhill. He started avoiding to pay his dues, claiming to always have no money, I started paying for all the dates. First big argument came when I changed my car to something maybe not luxurious, but brand new and much more fun. He got angry, as he was driving something quite older. Firstly he wanted me to participate in buying him a new one as well, then to give my car to him as “I can afford second one anyway” and lastly, in a last ditch, he wanted me to share mine. That will be three times no from me.
We had an argument, we fought, we made up, things got better. That was like a year ago now.
Then, a week ago, he asked me to join our accounts because “we are an end game anyway”. As it is the default financial situation of both formal and long term informal couples in my country. Initially I agreed, because - once again - it made sense. However, a day or two later, when we had a dinner he just said (although he claimed it to be a joke later) that maybe now he will be able to afford to buy the stuff he wants.
I lost it. I work twice his hours, and he just wants to waltz and take the advantage while not trying to improve his situation whatsoever.
I am aware that I what I did might seem to be an overreaction, but idc. I said that I am not going to live like that, being expected to pay for everything while he is out in a bar with friend or playing video games. He pointed out he does majority of the chores and - to be fair - that was truth. But once again, I am paying for majority of everything anyway AND I am expected to pay even more because he does not feel like doing more?
I was done, moved out the next day. From that moment dead silence from both parties. I am done.
I don’t want any advices, I just wanted to vent.
We met when we were both 20 and quickly hit it off. We were both young and more or less broke so we both relied heavily on the help of parents. As such, our financial statuses were more or less the same.
But then, changes came. We both finished our respective unis and got more respectable jobs. However, my degree ended up earning me much more money. Don’t get me wrong, nothing too crazy, but combined with my PhD course I earn almost 2x what he does.
And so the troubles came. First off it wasn’t too bad - as we live together he asked me not to split the living costs 50/50 but proportionally to the income. Although technically unfair, it sounded logically to me so I agreed. However, it all went downhill. He started avoiding to pay his dues, claiming to always have no money, I started paying for all the dates. First big argument came when I changed my car to something maybe not luxurious, but brand new and much more fun. He got angry, as he was driving something quite older. Firstly he wanted me to participate in buying him a new one as well, then to give my car to him as “I can afford second one anyway” and lastly, in a last ditch, he wanted me to share mine. That will be three times no from me.
We had an argument, we fought, we made up, things got better. That was like a year ago now.
Then, a week ago, he asked me to join our accounts because “we are an end game anyway”. As it is the default financial situation of both formal and long term informal couples in my country. Initially I agreed, because - once again - it made sense. However, a day or two later, when we had a dinner he just said (although he claimed it to be a joke later) that maybe now he will be able to afford to buy the stuff he wants.
I lost it. I work twice his hours, and he just wants to waltz and take the advantage while not trying to improve his situation whatsoever.
I am aware that I what I did might seem to be an overreaction, but idc. I said that I am not going to live like that, being expected to pay for everything while he is out in a bar with friend or playing video games. He pointed out he does majority of the chores and - to be fair - that was truth. But once again, I am paying for majority of everything anyway AND I am expected to pay even more because he does not feel like doing more?
I was done, moved out the next day. From that moment dead silence from both parties. I am done.
I don’t want any advices, I just wanted to vent.
