I can't believe what had happened to the young boy I used to be.

[Salieri]

Its insane what has happened to me. When I was growing up I was very high iq, my teachers made me did highschool maths in grade 3 and my whole life I was very motivated and had very big aspirations like becoming a scientist or mathematician. I was very talented in piano as well and loved music and wanted to become a pianist at some points. I wasnt exactly NT but I was NT enough to have friends and enjoy seeing people irl at school, but now I actually cant leave my dark room without getting aggravated by the sound of human voices or presence of light. I used to feel a connection to god and religion and had the most pure love for my oneitis and now all I do is wake up and jerk off the tiktok girls and browse looksmax. I dont even like animals or nature anymore, I used to love going on walks and seeing nature but now it just makes me angry, I feel like all the animals are very stupid. I feel like a very empty person now, like the character from that book "No Longer Human", I find it relatable and its very sad. I hope I can still change eventually, but I wonder if my soul is too far gone? There is nothing left inside of me anymore.

 

[JimmyDreamsOfZygos]

 

[Deleted member 19994]

Oofy Doofy theory.

 

[Salieri]

Oofy Doofy theory.

thoughts of oofy doofy theory:

oofy doofy theory is legit if ur tall and have decent harmony despite lack of symmetry or bones, it also requires clear skin and nice hair.

regardless, I cant run it because I have none of those things; i am ogrecel for life

 

[SeiGun]

i dont think you were high iq

 

[Salieri]

i dont think you were high iq

maybe, maybe not, i dont know, but i was talented at the things i liked to do and had aspirations in them, and now i am left with nothing. my brain has been corrupted. the effect is the same.

 

[nobodyspecial369]

Its insane what has happened to me. When I was growing up I was very high iq, my teachers made me did highschool maths in grade 3 and my whole life I was very motivated and had very big aspirations like becoming a scientist or mathematician. I was very talented in piano as well and loved music and wanted to become a pianist at some points. I wasnt exactly NT but I was NT enough to have friends and enjoy seeing people irl at school, but now I actually cant leave my dark room without getting aggravated by the sound of human voices or presence of light. I used to feel a connection to god and religion and had the most pure love for my oneitis and now all I do is wake up and jerk off the tiktok girls and browse looksmax. I dont even like animals or nature anymore, I used to love going on walks and seeing nature but now it just makes me angry, I feel like all the animals are very stupid. I feel like a very empty person now, like the character from that book "No Longer Human", I find it relatable and its very sad. I hope I can still change eventually, but I wonder if my soul is too far gone? There is nothing left inside of me anymore.

i know exactly what happened to you. This is a very sick deviation that happens to many of us, myself included and you must take significant efforts to rise above

The root cause is m4sturbation. this is not a joke, please take me seriously. there is too much to explain and not enough time on my hands. If i could transfer all my knowledge to you i would

Have a look at a couple of these threads

The pernicious habit of onanism (treatise from the 1800s)- avoidation that will make you quit

The heart and the mind suffer as much as the body from excesses of masturbation. To be assured of this we have only to remember the power exercised by...

forum.nofap.com

“
Masturbation will make people sluggish, lethargic, lethargic, mentally decadent, lose their fighting spirit, easily distracted, serious like walking dead, listless, wretched temperament, poor physical fitness, fear of cold!Get sick easily and behave sleazy!It can also cause rhinitis!Personality is no longer sunny and cheerful ~ lead to injury to sperm, dead sperm, neurasthenia, varicocele, diabetes, uremia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, frequent urination, urgency, insomnia, waiting for urination, insomnia, endocrine disorders or endocrine disorders, etc. Symptoms (remember the truth that kidney deficiency is full of diseases)

Prostitution makes us extremely bad luck!Dark yellow complexion, oily, many pimples or acne, acne scars that are difficult to disappear, body odor, reluctance to talk, childish thinking, involuntarily diverting your head when looking at people, or bowing your head (that is because you are afraid of others) See through your dirty and filthy heart, you have no confidence at all!)!There will also be signs of premature aging, more and more hair loss, too much dandruff, white hair, and bad breath~

Severely suffering from depression!Memory decline, brain power is getting worse and worse, reaction is slow, prostatitis ~ will also lead to indigestion, no matter how you eat, you will not gain weight, and you will not grow meat at all (kidney essence is used to nourish the internal organs, because you lose a lot of kidney essence due to evil spirits Kidney qi, bone marrow, spinal cord, brain marrow, and spirit are all gone. Do you think you can be healthy? Can you still be as energetic and energetic as a normal person?

Those who are lustful and indulgent, doze off at work, feel lifeless, lose executive power”

 

[nobodyspecial369]

This is the ultimate death formula what you are doing:

- instant gratification activities 24/7 with no self control. Bible says a man without self control is like a city without walls (you are easily overtaken)
- tik tok addiction + jerking off
- congregating with low vibrational people here on this forum. Bible says “Iron sharpens iron, but the companion of fools suffers harm”

Also read pdf free online: “Bliss of the celibate”

it will explain the devolvement you described in words eerily accurate.

I experienced the same as you. A once promising boy. this video also explains it in 3 mintues

 

[HerpDerpson]

“Iron sharpens iron”

Just became Zephir, greycels won't lead me astray anymore.

 

[Moggie]

This is the ultimate death formula what you are doing:

- instant gratification activities 24/7 with no self control. Bible says a man without self control is like a city without walls (you are easily overtaken)
- tik tok addiction + jerking off
- “Iron sharpens iron, but the companion of fools suffers harm”

These are good points but you lost me on the spiritual energy stuff.

 

[ReadBooksEveryday]

i know exactly what happened to you. This is a very sick deviation that happens to many of us, myself included and you must take significant efforts to rise above

The root cause is m4sturbation. this is not a joke, please take me seriously. there is too much to explain and not enough time on my hands. If i could transfer all my knowledge to you i would

Have a look at a couple of these threads

The pernicious habit of onanism (treatise from the 1800s)- avoidation that will make you quit

The heart and the mind suffer as much as the body from excesses of masturbation. To be assured of this we have only to remember the power exercised by...

forum.nofap.com

“
Masturbation will make people sluggish, lethargic, lethargic, mentally decadent, lose their fighting spirit, easily distracted, serious like walking dead, listless, wretched temperament, poor physical fitness, fear of cold!Get sick easily and behave sleazy!It can also cause rhinitis!Personality is no longer sunny and cheerful ~ lead to injury to sperm, dead sperm, neurasthenia, varicocele, diabetes, uremia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, frequent urination, urgency, insomnia, waiting for urination, insomnia, endocrine disorders or endocrine disorders, etc. Symptoms (remember the truth that kidney deficiency is full of diseases)

Prostitution makes us extremely bad luck!Dark yellow complexion, oily, many pimples or acne, acne scars that are difficult to disappear, body odor, reluctance to talk, childish thinking, involuntarily diverting your head when looking at people, or bowing your head (that is because you are afraid of others) See through your dirty and filthy heart, you have no confidence at all!)!There will also be signs of premature aging, more and more hair loss, too much dandruff, white hair, and bad breath~

Severely suffering from depression!Memory decline, brain power is getting worse and worse, reaction is slow, prostatitis ~ will also lead to indigestion, no matter how you eat, you will not gain weight, and you will not grow meat at all (kidney essence is used to nourish the internal organs, because you lose a lot of kidney essence due to evil spirits Kidney qi, bone marrow, spinal cord, brain marrow, and spirit are all gone. Do you think you can be healthy? Can you still be as energetic and energetic as a normal person?

Those who are lustful and indulgent, doze off at work, feel lifeless, lose executive power”

I came to same conclusion from reading the incel’s post

Masturbation kills lives

 

[nobodyspecial369]

These are good points but you lost me on the spiritual energy stuff.

what’s hard to understand. hanging out with people will make you like them.

without self control you are like a city whose walls have been broken down

 

[Moggie]

what’s hard to understand. hanging out with people will make you like them.

without self control you are like a city whose walls have been broken down

No that is good, I just mean the low vibration and spiritual stuff I personally do not believe in that sort of thing, isolated it is true that depressive people are going to drag you down but I do not think it is due to a evil or dark soul for instance. I definitely agree that the people you choose to be with will influence the person you are.

 

[nobodyspecial369]

I came to same conclusion from reading the incel’s post

Masturbation kills lives

i’ve read countless stories exactly like OPs. OP shouldn’t think himself a unique case. Furthermore he and many here must be able to put two and two together. What could have changed from childhood to now to completely alter his whole life…

High iq and sociable, having a sunny disposition, a positive outlook on the world, having hopes and dreams and aspirations of changing the world…

every kid has this right? what causes this to disappear for so many..

Formerly had a connection with God and pure hearted love for a woman, destroyed by lust. Many who start down the path of m4sturbation report similar feelings of no longer being able to feel connection to God, they feel miserable abandoned lonely, depressed. their love for women is not the pure love it once was, but merely an animalistic desire to fk them. Their minds are warped, they have lost the innate masculine/feminine dynamic, and this makes them very repulsive to women.

I used to love going on walks and seeing nature but now it just makes me angry, I feel like all the animals are very stupid. I feel like a very empty person now

this is another one that’s quite common. The love for nature is lost for several reasons. one might be that the individual is out of tune with nature so can no longer appreciate. Also the excess dopamine makes it difficult to appreciate the small things in life

A common reported benefit of abstaining from self vice is actually that animals come to you (rare but i’ve seen cases).

And finally the emptiness comes from dispelling the essence of yourself. You become a former shell of yourself, bc you’re literally dumping out what makes you you. Your own life

 

[ReadBooksEveryday]

i’ve read countless stories exactly like OPs. OP shouldn’t think himself a unique case. Furthermore he and many here must be able to put two and two together. What could have changed from childhood to now to completely alter his whole life…

High iq and sociable, having a sunny disposition, a positive outlook on the world, having hopes and dreams and aspirations of changing the world…

every kid has this right? what causes this to disappear for so many..

Formerly had a connection with God and pure hearted love for a woman, destroyed by lust. Many who start down the path of m4sturbation report similar feelings of no longer being able to feel connection to God, they feel miserable abandoned lonely, depressed. their love for women is not the pure love it once was, but merely an animalistic desire to fk them. Their minds are warped, they have lost the innate masculine/feminine dynamic, and this makes them very repulsive to women.



this is another one that’s quite common. The love for nature is lost for several reasons. one might be that the individual is out of tune with nature so can no longer appreciate. Also the excess dopamine makes it difficult to appreciate the small things in life

A common reported benefit of abstaining from self vice is actually that animals come to you (rare but i’ve seen cases).

And finally the emptiness comes from dispelling the essence of yourself. You become a former shell of yourself, bc you’re literally dumping out what makes you you. Your own life

all are true

Masturbation is a disease bro. Tho I doubtOP had some great childhood, the long term effects of fapping are still true

Glorious detailed post tbh

 

[nobodyspecial369]

No that is good, I just mean the low vibration and spiritual stuff I personally do not believe in that sort of thing, isolated it is true that depressive people are going to drag you down but I do not think it is due to a evil or dark soul for instance. I definitely agree that the people you choose to be with will influence the person you are.

then take from it what you will. i didn’t mean to put a spirituall woo woo on it. i meant it the way you said which is that hanging out with the wrong crowd will bring you down and likewise the company of the wise will uplift you

I like to take from this site what benefits me, and leave the rest of the toxicity

 

[nobodyspecial369]

all are true

Masturbation is a disease bro. Tho I doubtOP had some great childhood, the long term effects of fapping are still true

Glorious detailed post tbh

thank you brother. I’m sure you will be well off, if you agree and apply and internalize what is wrote. Best of luck to you

 

[Salieri]

i know exactly what happened to you. This is a very sick deviation that happens to many of us, myself included and you must take significant efforts to rise above

The root cause is m4sturbation. this is not a joke, please take me seriously. there is too much to explain and not enough time on my hands. If i could transfer all my knowledge to you i would

Have a look at a couple of these threads

The pernicious habit of onanism (treatise from the 1800s)- avoidation that will make you quit

The heart and the mind suffer as much as the body from excesses of masturbation. To be assured of this we have only to remember the power exercised by...

forum.nofap.com

“
Masturbation will make people sluggish, lethargic, lethargic, mentally decadent, lose their fighting spirit, easily distracted, serious like walking dead, listless, wretched temperament, poor physical fitness, fear of cold!Get sick easily and behave sleazy!It can also cause rhinitis!Personality is no longer sunny and cheerful ~ lead to injury to sperm, dead sperm, neurasthenia, varicocele, diabetes, uremia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, frequent urination, urgency, insomnia, waiting for urination, insomnia, endocrine disorders or endocrine disorders, etc. Symptoms (remember the truth that kidney deficiency is full of diseases)

Prostitution makes us extremely bad luck!Dark yellow complexion, oily, many pimples or acne, acne scars that are difficult to disappear, body odor, reluctance to talk, childish thinking, involuntarily diverting your head when looking at people, or bowing your head (that is because you are afraid of others) See through your dirty and filthy heart, you have no confidence at all!)!There will also be signs of premature aging, more and more hair loss, too much dandruff, white hair, and bad breath~

Severely suffering from depression!Memory decline, brain power is getting worse and worse, reaction is slow, prostatitis ~ will also lead to indigestion, no matter how you eat, you will not gain weight, and you will not grow meat at all (kidney essence is used to nourish the internal organs, because you lose a lot of kidney essence due to evil spirits Kidney qi, bone marrow, spinal cord, brain marrow, and spirit are all gone. Do you think you can be healthy? Can you still be as energetic and energetic as a normal person?

Those who are lustful and indulgent, doze off at work, feel lifeless, lose executive power”

i actually realized this myself sort of since writing the original post lol i was jerking off like 10 times a day but then when i walked into a mausoleum earier i felt a grand sense of peace with all the religeous art and rosaries and crosses hanging everywhere u always believed in god but never took the religeous purpose seriously but now i am going down the righteous path for real like its my #1 priority

@RabidRosaries sparked my wisdom about sex drive and low T and how it kills ur spirit, praise be to you both

 

[nobodyspecial369]

i actually realized this myself sort of since writing the original post lol i was jerking off like 10 times a day but then when i walked into a mausoleum earier i felt a grand sense of peace with all the religeous art and rosaries and crosses hanging everywhere u always believed in god but never took the religeous purpose seriously but now i am going down the righteous path for real like its my #1 priority

@RabidRosaries sparked my wisdom about sex drive and low T and how it kills ur spirit, praise be to you both

best of luck bro, your ascension (in all aspects physical mental emotional spiritual) starts today. how old are you btw. my realization happened at 18, and i’ve turned everything around in a few years

 

[Salieri]

best of luck bro, your ascension (in all aspects physical mental emotional spiritual) starts today. how old are you btw. my realization happened at 18, and i’ve turned everything around in a few years

i am 18

 

[nobodyspecial369]

i am 18

then you’re right on time, follow the path i took and you will be a completely new person in a few years it will take time though and lots of growth and trials. you can do it

seek and you will find

 

[Idontknowlol]

I was lost, on my own
And I couldn't bear the thought of my life
I was gone, caught in the torturing memories
And they burned like fire
Water can never heal such pain
Can't you believe
Nothing is real
Can't you see
I cannot feel
Take me away
Bury me in the sand
Cause after all these years I am still the same
A sad and bitter man
Crush my hope, grow my hate
There's no home for me
Nothing to give, nothing to say
So tell me it's a dream

 

[Salieri]

Tho I doubtOP had some great childhood

it wasnt great, i never said it was great, but like life was good in general

basically responding to bump this thread cuz this greycel nobodyspecial39 dropped some giga wisdom ngl

 

[Schizoidcel]

i’ve read countless stories exactly like OPs. OP shouldn’t think himself a unique case. Furthermore he and many here must be able to put two and two together. What could have changed from childhood to now to completely alter his whole life…

High iq and sociable, having a sunny disposition, a positive outlook on the world, having hopes and dreams and aspirations of changing the world…

every kid has this right? what causes this to disappear for so many..

Formerly had a connection with God and pure hearted love for a woman, destroyed by lust. Many who start down the path of m4sturbation report similar feelings of no longer being able to feel connection to God, they feel miserable abandoned lonely, depressed. their love for women is not the pure love it once was, but merely an animalistic desire to fk them. Their minds are warped, they have lost the innate masculine/feminine dynamic, and this makes them very repulsive to women.



this is another one that’s quite common. The love for nature is lost for several reasons. one might be that the individual is out of tune with nature so can no longer appreciate. Also the excess dopamine makes it difficult to appreciate the small things in life

A common reported benefit of abstaining from self vice is actually that animals come to you (rare but i’ve seen cases).

And finally the emptiness comes from dispelling the essence of yourself. You become a former shell of yourself, bc you’re literally dumping out what makes you you. Your own life

Julian Lee, is that you? Good post.