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ElySioNs
Mercenary
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- Feb 7, 2021
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tldr; ive been with my husband for ten years. i cheated on him after his diagnosis with cancer and now he is going to kill himself.
I (42f) have been with my husband (45m) for a decade. it was the cliche, corny love story. l used to see him at our local coffee shop but never really gave him much attention. We were just passers by who shopped at the same place. Until one day we both had the same order and walked up to the counter reaching for it. From there it was magic.
we dated for 2 years then eloped in our third year. like any other marriage we’ve had or ups and downs but came through strong each time. life was good up until a year ago when we learnt my husband has stage 3 cancer. he’s been doing all these treatments even when it drains the life out of him and while the disease has slowed it is still progressing. doctors have recommended hospice because at the rate he’s going they think treatment will kill him before his cancer does.
i thought i was handling it well until one day a co worker asked how i was doing and i just broke down sobbing. i hadn’t cried when we just found out, i hadn’t cried when i had to lift him off the bathroom floor every time after his chemo, i hadn’t cried when he was hospitalized with pneumonia because of his weakened immune system, i hasn’t cried when his doctors recommended he killed himself. but that day i did. and that was the start of my worst mistake.
i confided in my coworker (39m) about the stress and somewhere he became my stress relief. i shamefully started an affair that lasted until last week when my husband found out. i had forgot to delete some texts and he read them. i could see the emptiness in his eyes. he never lost his will to fight after every bad prognosis but finding out my betrayal drained him of it.
his exact words were “well i guess i have nothing left to fight for.” he has called his doctor and told him he reconsidered his opinion on hospice. no matter how much i’m crying, begging and pleading, my husband is going to kill himself as his revenge.
edit: I don’t know why I came here. I guess just to vent. You all have been calling me out rightfully so. I don’t have any words to explain why I did what I did. I truly love my husband with my whole heart. I was burnt out from being his caretaker and money maker. I am in no way blaming him. He’s apologized for not giving me the attention i needed leading me to turn to this and that his decision still stands as he feels i would be better off. My face is swollen from crying non stop. Please I just need advice on how to stop him
508 comments
I (42f) have been with my husband (45m) for a decade. it was the cliche, corny love story. l used to see him at our local coffee shop but never really gave him much attention. We were just passers by who shopped at the same place. Until one day we both had the same order and walked up to the counter reaching for it. From there it was magic.
we dated for 2 years then eloped in our third year. like any other marriage we’ve had or ups and downs but came through strong each time. life was good up until a year ago when we learnt my husband has stage 3 cancer. he’s been doing all these treatments even when it drains the life out of him and while the disease has slowed it is still progressing. doctors have recommended hospice because at the rate he’s going they think treatment will kill him before his cancer does.
i thought i was handling it well until one day a co worker asked how i was doing and i just broke down sobbing. i hadn’t cried when we just found out, i hadn’t cried when i had to lift him off the bathroom floor every time after his chemo, i hadn’t cried when he was hospitalized with pneumonia because of his weakened immune system, i hasn’t cried when his doctors recommended he killed himself. but that day i did. and that was the start of my worst mistake.
i confided in my coworker (39m) about the stress and somewhere he became my stress relief. i shamefully started an affair that lasted until last week when my husband found out. i had forgot to delete some texts and he read them. i could see the emptiness in his eyes. he never lost his will to fight after every bad prognosis but finding out my betrayal drained him of it.
his exact words were “well i guess i have nothing left to fight for.” he has called his doctor and told him he reconsidered his opinion on hospice. no matter how much i’m crying, begging and pleading, my husband is going to kill himself as his revenge.
edit: I don’t know why I came here. I guess just to vent. You all have been calling me out rightfully so. I don’t have any words to explain why I did what I did. I truly love my husband with my whole heart. I was burnt out from being his caretaker and money maker. I am in no way blaming him. He’s apologized for not giving me the attention i needed leading me to turn to this and that his decision still stands as he feels i would be better off. My face is swollen from crying non stop. Please I just need advice on how to stop him
508 comments