Apparition
Aimless Spirit
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2024
- Posts
- 386
- Reputation
- 398
when i started forgetting about my oneitis, i literally felt lost, like i felt empty and unmotivated.
but when i became pathologically obsessed with her, i had so much energy in me. i didnt even care that she had forgtten about me, i didnt even care if she was alive, i believed in something that she made me feel and that was all i needed to keep myself going.
Sadly i couldnt go on like that forever because it needed way too much willpower. I had to mentally isolate myself from people around me so that i would concetrate better on my goals. It was a form of mediation, im pretty certain there is a term about it and i just happend to discover it myself.
But when i saw that my oneitis suceeded in her goals without having to do any of this shit i got super depressed. Especially knowing that at some point i was just another stepping stone for her success.
Meanwhile, she wasnt stepping stone for me but a legit inspiration. Because oneitis just gives you an insight into some things that go way beyond human compehension, and you can do shit earier when you realize whats truly unattainable.
but when i became pathologically obsessed with her, i had so much energy in me. i didnt even care that she had forgtten about me, i didnt even care if she was alive, i believed in something that she made me feel and that was all i needed to keep myself going.
Sadly i couldnt go on like that forever because it needed way too much willpower. I had to mentally isolate myself from people around me so that i would concetrate better on my goals. It was a form of mediation, im pretty certain there is a term about it and i just happend to discover it myself.
But when i saw that my oneitis suceeded in her goals without having to do any of this shit i got super depressed. Especially knowing that at some point i was just another stepping stone for her success.
Meanwhile, she wasnt stepping stone for me but a legit inspiration. Because oneitis just gives you an insight into some things that go way beyond human compehension, and you can do shit earier when you realize whats truly unattainable.