i don’t wanna fix myself i just wanna know myself

[swt]

i wanna go to therapy just to figure out what i have and then dip, just to know myself and know why i do the shit i do

i don’t believe anyone could fix me even if it took years upon years of therapy, i’m a total lost cause, too far gone. but i wanna know whats wrong

whatever is wrong, i probably have the highest degree of it, and i don’t wanna self diagnose but genuinely, whatever is wrong, is very wrong

but at the same time it’s not worth paying therapy for this and wasting my time so i suppose i’ll just keep living self destructively and destructively towards people that love me until they eventually don’t anymore