I don’t want to act like I don’t care anymore

maxilofailo

maxilofailo

im a failure
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For years now I’ve put on this persona like I don’t care and I’m above everyone as a coping mechanism for being socially isolated

But im tired of that
I’m soooooooo
SO
Fucking tired of suppressing who I really am inside man

I’m not this Damon Salvatore, edgy, super high iq, wannabe try hard dark triad gangster

I’m a kid who wants to be part of a group of friends and have a gf who loves me and I love back man that’s it

But I dont have that so I created this as a way to defend myself kind of like rejecting everyone else first so I don’t have to face rejection

I don’t want to be this way anymore I want people in my life who care about me I want friends so bad
 
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Then maybe you should drop that persona if its just doing more harm than good
 
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Then maybe you should drop that persona if its just doing more harm than good
I don’t even know how at this point
I want to be more friendly and smiley all the time
And talk to people and have positive energy

But I feel so rejected that all I can do is project anger
 
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Reactions: BeanletMogger and rand anon
I don’t even know how at this point
I want to be more friendly and smiley all the time
And talk to people and have positive energy

But I feel so rejected that all I can do is project anger
Bro it's all in your head you're gonna find people who actually like you no matter what you do as long as you're not a extremely shitty person or a subhuman

The more you overthink it the more likely you're gonna stay like this
 
I have this persona but I dont care if I have a friend group I just hate seeing others in one, same with a gf but id rather have that than not

although I can imagine me still not caring once Ive had them both
 
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Reactions: BeanletMogger and Darkeningstar
But I dont have that so I created this as a way to defend myself kind of like rejecting everyone else first so I don’t have to face rejection
Similar situation, but rather than developing a non caring persona I've just embraced self hatred instead :feelsautistic::feelsautistic:
 
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This is the problem with wanting to imitate psychopathy in the long term
 
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Wow sounds like your life is really shit
 

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