I feel completely and utterly defeated

[baerr]

all copes came to an end. This is horrible. I feel powerless, there’s nothing I can do. I am the biggest looser I’ve ever known. The validation of random Beckies lost its worth entirely, it is a useless short term cope. It‘s all about fitting in, all about getting respected by your peers, all about mogging in the end, in every aspect. If you get lifemogged by 95% of people your age, it’s over, you’re a clown, a failure. Always getting reminded by everyone you couldn’t make it.