ehks
Iron
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2025
- Posts
- 3
- Reputation
- 14
Hello. This is my first post here and the first time writing something so detailed in ages, so it might be shit to read. That being said, let me elaborate on the title.
Some backstory:
1. I was born a few days late. I was initially supposed to be very healthy and big kid, but since the birth got delayed, i was born skinny and barely really living. My mom and grandma had to keep me close to heaters the few days of my birth, to keep me warm as even my temperature was really unstable.
2. I was born with slight pectus carinatum, which has been an insecurity for the upcoming years.
3. I lived in a village until 11 years old, then moved to a big city.
4. I broke up with a girlfriend of mine around the age of 14-15, and was called skinny and unable to protect her after.
These are all some of the things i think influenced my insecurities.
Now, about my body. I always felt small and short and like i had no presence at all. I will also explain the stages as we go:
Stage 1: 14 Years old
Not single - No clue what the gym is - Somehow confident ?
Stage 2: 15 Years old
Get introduced to the gym - Signs of life - Get obsessed with it
Stage 3: 15-18
Insert dirty bulking - Feel like a literal NPC - Went from 48 kg to 80 kg
Left one here
Peak bulk: 78-80kg - 176 cm
Stage 4 (Current stage): 19 Years old
Learn about LM and the importance of being lean - Decided to cut down for summer 2026
How it's going so far (70ish kg):
The dilemma:
After so much work i feel so fucking short and small.
This picture especially fucking triggered me so hard (I'm the middle one)
Final thoughts and side notes:
Before other people say it: I know the reality is that I am not big and around below average height. I want to run some cycle, I'm really close to. I just wanted to get some general opinions, while I haven't ran it yet.
About my face: I might make a second part about it - I've been LTN all my life i think I've reached MTN now though. I was rated three times in org discord: MLTN - HLTN and LMTN.
Let me know what you think and thank you for reading this far if you did
Some backstory:
1. I was born a few days late. I was initially supposed to be very healthy and big kid, but since the birth got delayed, i was born skinny and barely really living. My mom and grandma had to keep me close to heaters the few days of my birth, to keep me warm as even my temperature was really unstable.
2. I was born with slight pectus carinatum, which has been an insecurity for the upcoming years.
3. I lived in a village until 11 years old, then moved to a big city.
4. I broke up with a girlfriend of mine around the age of 14-15, and was called skinny and unable to protect her after.
These are all some of the things i think influenced my insecurities.
Now, about my body. I always felt small and short and like i had no presence at all. I will also explain the stages as we go:
Stage 1: 14 Years old
Not single - No clue what the gym is - Somehow confident ?
Stage 2: 15 Years old
Get introduced to the gym - Signs of life - Get obsessed with it
Stage 3: 15-18
Insert dirty bulking - Feel like a literal NPC - Went from 48 kg to 80 kg
Left one here
Peak bulk: 78-80kg - 176 cm
Stage 4 (Current stage): 19 Years old
Learn about LM and the importance of being lean - Decided to cut down for summer 2026
How it's going so far (70ish kg):
The dilemma:
After so much work i feel so fucking short and small.
This picture especially fucking triggered me so hard (I'm the middle one)
Final thoughts and side notes:
Before other people say it: I know the reality is that I am not big and around below average height. I want to run some cycle, I'm really close to. I just wanted to get some general opinions, while I haven't ran it yet.
About my face: I might make a second part about it - I've been LTN all my life i think I've reached MTN now though. I was rated three times in org discord: MLTN - HLTN and LMTN.
Let me know what you think and thank you for reading this far if you did
