
Deleted member 5048
Zephir
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2020
- Posts
- 1,801
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I feel like I’ve been pretending my whole life to fit in, I was caring too much what others think of me cause I wanted to be accepted, since kindergarten I was actively trying to figure out how others are interacting with themselves I was amazed how easy it is for them while I was mostly playing with toys mostly alone, then when I had a closer friend that accepted me I was mirroring him subconsciously cause I liked him and others liked him too so I thought he’ll help me with his persona, that sounds so pathetic, such is my history, nothingness, no personality, no spirit, just a projection of a human being, and I’m sick of myself after realising it, I will never be a real part of any group I will never pair bonds with anyone, I’m like nobody’s son, an abstraction, a joke
I realized it just now I didn’t know before I’m actually an aspie but everything checks out that’s why the comparison cause he was delusional about himself as well
I realized it just now I didn’t know before I’m actually an aspie but everything checks out that’s why the comparison cause he was delusional about himself as well