I fucked it up again.

[Deleted member 10699]

I was having dinner with family and a topic came out: my mother sold a stationary bicycle we used to have last year; I asked her why he sold it, and she told me that she did it because it was occuping space and because it was pretty old. Then, she mentioned that she wanted to sell my drumkit (I play the drums regularly), and I screamed: "No!", in a really upset and angry voice tone. My father looked at my mother, and told her: "don't talk to Melkor, as if he wasn't here". At that moment I went insane hitted my elbow against a wall (it hurts now), and punched my face. I screamed that I felt like I was treated like an animal, that my drumkit was mine, and then, I got my food and ran to my bedroom. I began to cry.

Later, my mother came and said that she wants me to leave her house after I'll finissh the CFGS I'm doing, that they're scared of living with me, because I could kill them (my mind goes blank and I hit myself with whathever I got when I have a breakdown. I can even stab myself in one of those breakdowns). I'm scared, too, since I can't trust myself. My mother also told me that she wouldn't help me with the psychiatrist, with the psychologist, and that I've been destroying their lifes since I was born. I want to leave them, so they can begin to be happy without me, but I won't be able to take care of myself.

I often wonder if they'll be happier if I'll kill myself. In the next month I'll be seeing the psychiatrist, and he'll give me the medication, so I'll be a different person by then. I hope so.

 

[Deleted member 10536]

I was having dinner with family and a topic came out: my mother sold a stationary bicycle we used to have last year; I asked her why he sold it, and she told me that she did it because it was occuping space and because it was pretty old. Then, she mentioned that she wanted to sell my drumkit (I play the drums regularly), and I screamed: "No!", in a really upset and angry voice tone. My father looked at my mother, and told her: "don't talk to Melkor, as if he wasn't here". At that moment I went insane hitted my elbow against a wall (it hurts now), and punched my face. I screamed that I felt like I was treated like an animal, that my drumkit was mine, and then, I got my food and ran to my bedroom. I began to cry.

Later, my mother came and said that she wants me to leave her house after I'll finissh the CFGS I'm doing, that they're scared of living with me, because I could kill them (my mind goes blank and I hit myself with whathever I got when I have a breakdown. I can even stab myself in one of those breakdowns). I'm scared, too, since I can't trust myself. My mother also told me that she wouldn't help me with the psychiatrist, with the psychologist, and that I've been destroying their lifes since I was born. I want to leave them, so they can begin to be happy without me, but I won't be able to take care of myself.

I often wonder if they'll be happier if I'll kill myself. In the next month I'll be seeing the psychiatrist, and he'll give me the medication, so I'll be a different person by then. I hope so.

My parents hate me too

 

[Deleted member 10699]

My parents hate me too

I don't hate them. I just wish that I could be more normal, without going insane and hitting myself.

 

[grimy]

How old are you? Your parents just watched you punch yourself in the face like a spastic, they have a right to be worried.

 

[Deleted member 10699]

How old are you? Your parents just watched you punch yourself in the face like a spastic, they have a right to be worried.

21. I've punched myself a lot of times. They have the right to be worried.

 

[Deleted member 10042]

21. I've punched myself a lot of times. They have the right to be worried.

Spaniards are loco
What were u eating?

 

[Deleted member 10699]

Spaniards are loco
What were u eating?

I don't remember. I'm not insane, I just don't have the right tools to manage my emotions and end up overwhelmed.

 

[Deleted member 8576]

idk sounds like absolute hell

 

[Deleted member 10699]

idk sounds like absolute hell

It's hell for my parents and for me. That's why I, and they, want to live alone.

 

[one job away]

I was having dinner with family and a topic came out: my mother sold a stationary bicycle we used to have last year; I asked her why he sold it, and she told me that she did it because it was occuping space and because it was pretty old. Then, she mentioned that she wanted to sell my drumkit (I play the drums regularly), and I screamed: "No!", in a really upset and angry voice tone. My father looked at my mother, and told her: "don't talk to Melkor, as if he wasn't here". At that moment I went insane hitted my elbow against a wall (it hurts now), and punched my face. I screamed that I felt like I was treated like an animal, that my drumkit was mine, and then, I got my food and ran to my bedroom. I began to cry.

Later, my mother came and said that she wants me to leave her house after I'll finissh the CFGS I'm doing, that they're scared of living with me, because I could kill them (my mind goes blank and I hit myself with whathever I got when I have a breakdown. I can even stab myself in one of those breakdowns). I'm scared, too, since I can't trust myself. My mother also told me that she wouldn't help me with the psychiatrist, with the psychologist, and that I've been destroying their lifes since I was born. I want to leave them, so they can begin to be happy without me, but I won't be able to take care of myself.

I often wonder if they'll be happier if I'll kill myself. In the next month I'll be seeing the psychiatrist, and he'll give me the medication, so I'll be a different person by then. I hope so.

man that's fcked up. whish you all best my dude.

 

[Deleted member 10699]

man that's fcked up. whish you all best my dude.

Thank you.

 

[Deleted member 5927]

Why do you act like a child dawg you have no idea what that does to your own view of yourself you gotta treat yourself right and not be on this little kid shit.

 

[quakociaptockh]

I heard the same lines "leave my house", though I'm nowhere aggressive. They just didn't like me. Maybe it's the same with you, that it doesn't have anything to do with you, it's them who're fucked up.

Oh, and once they told me I could go back living with them but I'd have to pay. I refused.