SvtvnTr14d
Iron
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2025
- Posts
- 115
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I'm hoping for some advice on dealing with intense derealization and social anxiety that's centered around my school environment. I've been struggling with this for about five years and the new school year is bringing these feelings back strongly. So basically my classmates in school are absolute woke little cunt retards, I try to socialize with them but I don't really fw them and kind of despise them lmao like i'll try and have a small talk but most of the time I'm quiet around them and don't really feel the need to socialize. At the very start of school I kind of tried to socialize with them but it didn't work out, and then problems at home hit hard which I'm not going to talk abt here but just know they were pretty bad also my close and only real ass friend who was like a brother to me commiting suicide at that time, and I gave up trying to socalize with retards who know jack shit about literally ANYTHING i simply don't fit in with them at all and don't get me wrong that I have this "I'm the smartest of them all, true Einstein" ass mentality, no I don't I'm not a genius or anything but they're literally so clueless 
. But I have this problem in my class that I'm known as the "loner" / "quiet kid" and the ppl there judge literally ANYTHING i fucking do, and there too much of a pussy to come up and say it to my face lmao which would be completely different since I'm not afraid of conflict, but I know people shit talk me behind my back A LOT, oh and btw don't get me wrong I'm not really an antisocial person i'll have chats with ppl and I (most of the time) don't have a problem with coming up to sb etc. you get what i mean. But anyways basically I don't get in anyone's way, I'm respectful to the ppl i talk to and they're usually respectful back to me, but I've been having this problem for a very long time now (like 5 years) that any time i'll come to class I am aware that there are some little cunts that don't have anything better to do and they're the most fucking retarded ppl i know and I genuenly wonder if they're aware of their existence (smth. like my hobbies are netflix and listening to music and living from day to day being a lazy cunt that's a living parasite to their parents wallet
) but anyways back to the topic I know these little braindead rats judge everything i do like let's say i cough to loud or idk my voice sounds a little bit off when I'm saying something they'll start talking behind my back about that shit like i shitted myself in front of everyone or smth 
soo that made me get lowkey anxious and I don't know how to really put this into words but my behaviour started to be very unnatural this feeling of constantly being judged has created a lot of pressure, like I try to do everything to get the least attention drawed to me as possible, i'll even be worrying if I'm sometimes sitting right or not breathing to loud and shit but anyways this constant pressure has made me derealized AS FUCKKK, I'm just mentally not there if that makes sense like I'll be looking at something but it feels like I'm blind, like I see what I'm seeing but I'm also not if that makes sense, or let's say the teacher is saying something, the derealization gets so bad that I hear the words the teach is saying but I don't really understand what she's saying i simply cannot process it, like I have this constant brainfog all the time or whatever and my head also starts to hurt pretty bad and I'll get dizzy and I move VERY unnaturally like a fucking robot (basically i get hyper aware of my actions) but that's only sometimes when it gets really bad. So my question is, what would u guys do in my situation to help fight with this derealization problem, do ya'll think something like beta blockers help me act and feel more NT or anything else I've changed my mindset significantly and can't really give a shit but the derealization symptoms are still there how can I break this fkn cycle this situation and other situations have made me feel derealized through like 85% of the time for the last 5 years I'll be grateful for literally any help, the school year just started for me and I feel these symptoms are coming back again and I just don't want to spend another year this way it's fucking draining cause the worst part is when I come back from school I don't feel any better I feel as drained as I did then, so basically once it hits, it hits for the whole day, and for the whole day I'm feeling like life is not real almost as if I'm watching a yt video and ofc feeling light headed, and I can't focus on shit, and the worst thing is I have to study in this state and work to make money. Again VERY GRATEFUL for any sort of help <333
. But I have this problem in my class that I'm known as the "loner" / "quiet kid" and the ppl there judge literally ANYTHING i fucking do, and there too much of a pussy to come up and say it to my face lmao which would be completely different since I'm not afraid of conflict, but I know people shit talk me behind my back A LOT, oh and btw don't get me wrong I'm not really an antisocial person i'll have chats with ppl and I (most of the time) don't have a problem with coming up to sb etc. you get what i mean. But anyways basically I don't get in anyone's way, I'm respectful to the ppl i talk to and they're usually respectful back to me, but I've been having this problem for a very long time now (like 5 years) that any time i'll come to class I am aware that there are some little cunts that don't have anything better to do and they're the most fucking retarded ppl i know and I genuenly wonder if they're aware of their existence (smth. like my hobbies are netflix and listening to music and living from day to day being a lazy cunt that's a living parasite to their parents wallet) but anyways back to the topic I know these little braindead rats judge everything i do like let's say i cough to loud or idk my voice sounds a little bit off when I'm saying something they'll start talking behind my back about that shit like i shitted myself in front of everyone or smth soo that made me get lowkey anxious and I don't know how to really put this into words but my behaviour started to be very unnatural this feeling of constantly being judged has created a lot of pressure, like I try to do everything to get the least attention drawed to me as possible, i'll even be worrying if I'm sometimes sitting right or not breathing to loud and shit but anyways this constant pressure has made me derealized AS FUCKKK, I'm just mentally not there if that makes sense like I'll be looking at something but it feels like I'm blind, like I see what I'm seeing but I'm also not if that makes sense, or let's say the teacher is saying something, the derealization gets so bad that I hear the words the teach is saying but I don't really understand what she's saying i simply cannot process it, like I have this constant brainfog all the time or whatever and my head also starts to hurt pretty bad and I'll get dizzy and I move VERY unnaturally like a fucking robot (basically i get hyper aware of my actions) but that's only sometimes when it gets really bad. So my question is, what would u guys do in my situation to help fight with this derealization problem, do ya'll think something like beta blockers help me act and feel more NT or anything else I've changed my mindset significantly and can't really give a shit but the derealization symptoms are still there how can I break this fkn cycle this situation and other situations have made me feel derealized through like 85% of the time for the last 5 years I'll be grateful for literally any help, the school year just started for me and I feel these symptoms are coming back again and I just don't want to spend another year this way it's fucking draining cause the worst part is when I come back from school I don't feel any better I feel as drained as I did then, so basically once it hits, it hits for the whole day, and for the whole day I'm feeling like life is not real almost as if I'm watching a yt video and ofc feeling light headed, and I can't focus on shit, and the worst thing is I have to study in this state and work to make money. Again VERY GRATEFUL for any sort of help <333
