I genuinely don't care about girls

[Wildlife]

My friends all talk about how they're going on dates and two-mans mostly @sherry12 but I feel like that would be torture. When I see pornography I can't imagine engaging in any sort of sexual act, when I imagine kissing a girl I feel nothing. I used to imagine meeting my ex, hugging her, holding hands with her. I imagined her cuddled up to me, she was so perfect. I knew from the start I did not deserve her but I naively thought she truly loved me. I have no animosity to her, she simply realized who I was and left me, same fate as most people in my life.

Sorry for this turning into a rant I think my mental health is getting worse. Any of you have this happen?

 

[Deleted member 136057]

My friends all talk about how they're going on dates and two-mans mostly @sherry12 but I feel like that would be torture. When I see pornography I can't imagine engaging in any sort of sexual act, when I imagine kissing a girl I feel nothing. I used to imagine meeting my ex, hugging her, holding hands with her. I imagined her cuddled up to me, she was so perfect. I knew from the start I did not deserve her but I naively thought she truly loved me. I have no animosity to her, she simply realized who I was and left me, same fate as most people in my life.

Sorry for this turning into a rant I think my mental health is getting worse. Any of you have this happen?

What 0 pussy does to nigga

 

[isis_Bleach]

did u hit at least

 

[chudpiller]

I get invited on two mans but I'm just to afraid of the huzz. Hopefully now that I am on test I will have some drive to speak to women.

 

[foidletslayer]

You’ve never felt the affectionate touch of a woman huh

 

[Ascending2Tyrone]

Low test probably

 

[sherry12]

My friends all talk about how they're going on dates and two-mans mostly @sherry12 but I feel like that would be torture. When I see pornography I can't imagine engaging in any sort of sexual act, when I imagine kissing a girl I feel nothing. I used to imagine meeting my ex, hugging her, holding hands with her. I imagined her cuddled up to me, she was so perfect. I knew from the start I did not deserve her but I naively thought she truly loved me. I have no animosity to her, she simply realized who I was and left me, same fate as most people in my life.

Sorry for this turning into a rant I think my mental health is getting worse. Any of you have this happen?

This @sherry12 guy seems super high T

 

[Wildlife]

did u hit at least

I never even met her in person

 

[sherry12]

My friends all talk about how they're going on dates and two-mans mostly @sherry12 but I feel like that would be torture. When I see pornography I can't imagine engaging in any sort of sexual act, when I imagine kissing a girl I feel nothing. I used to imagine meeting my ex, hugging her, holding hands with her. I imagined her cuddled up to me, she was so perfect. I knew from the start I did not deserve her but I naively thought she truly loved me. I have no animosity to her, she simply realized who I was and left me, same fate as most people in my life.

Sorry for this turning into a rant I think my mental health is getting worse. Any of you have this happen?

Tbh i had kinda similar thoughts before i ever did stuff with a girl it all changed after its a mentality thing tbh

 

[Wildlife]

You’ve never felt the affectionate touch of a woman huh

I have held a girl's hand and *kinda* kissed a girl once, but my online ex-girlfriend was so much better.

 

[Wildlife]

This @sherry12 guy seems super high T

Vouch

 

[ascendtocl122]

time to visit the lollypop club

 

[Wildlife]

I get invited on two mans but I'm just to afraid of the huzz. Hopefully now that I am on test I will have some drive to speak to women.

I feel you

 

[foidletslayer]

I have held a girl's hand and *kinda* kissed a girl once, but my online ex-girlfriend was so much better.

Not relatable.

 

[Wildlife]

time to visit the lollypop club

Does this mean what I think it means

 

[Ascending2Tyrone]

I never even met her in person

oh man that online shit hits different. its really the fantasy that gets to you and the imagination fills all the gaps with them and once it ends it all comes crashing down especially the future you two imagined together. its going to take some time but you'll heal from her trust me. I'm sure she only showed her best side to you online you don't know her day to day life and how she truly acts so its easy to pedestalize her like that

 

[ascendtocl122]

Does this mean what I think it means

 

[foidletslayer]

Does this mean what I think it means

You’re into dick like @swaggers

 

[Wildlife]

Nah, men don't do it for me either. I am more attracted to women than men but I don't see myself having any sort of romantic of sexual relationship with either gender.

 

[ascendtocl122]

Nah, men don't do it for me either. I am more attracted to women than men but I don't see myself having any sort of romantic of sexual relationship with either gender.

nothing wrong with being gay. maybe asexual

 

[Wildlife]

oh man that online shit hits different. its really the fantasy that gets to you and the imagination fills all the gaps with them and once it ends it all comes crashing down especially the future you two imagined together. its going to take some time but you'll heal from her trust me. I'm sure she only showed her best side to you online you don't know her day to day life and how she truly acts so its easy to pedestalize her like that

Me and her spoke of this, we talked about how we probably didn't know the true versions of eachother. I genuinely would love any version of her though, love is not conditional for me. It's been almost two months since we broke up but I miss her so much.

 

[Wildlife]

nothing wrong with being gay. maybe asexual

I don't think I'm even asexual I've been addicted to porn since I was like 11. Idk if depression kills libido but I have been pretty down in the dumps lately.

 

[Ascending2Tyrone]

Me and her spoke of this, we talked about how we probably didn't know the true versions of eachother. I genuinely would love any version of her though, love is not conditional for me. It's been almost two months since we broke up but I miss her so much.

yeah she seems hella mature for that thought ngl its so easy to put your best version of yourself online to be liked or loved. If she couldn't stay or even try to get the real you don't you think its better she wouldnt waste your time? or let this go on for so long and be disappointed in person? I believe it would hurt much more if you guys invested heavily into each other and finally got to meet in person just for you guys not to be compatible. I know you miss her a lot but it will heal with time and you'll find another I promise. She was just a chapter in your life you'll find another and try for irl this time its much better.

Who knows though she may come back around the corner? 2 Months is nothing but dont feed yourself false hope its better to move on and let go from her for your own sake

 

[Wildlife]

yeah she seems hella mature for that thought ngl its so easy to put your best version of yourself online to be liked or loved. If she couldn't stay or even try to get the real you don't you think its better she wouldnt waste your time? or let this go on for so long and be disappointed in person? I believe it would hurt much more if you guys invested heavily into each other and finally got to meet in person just for you guys not to be compatible. I know you miss her a lot but it will heal with time and you'll find another I promise. She was just a chapter in your life you'll find another and try for irl this time its much better.

Who knows though she may come back around the corner? 2 Months is nothing but dont feed yourself false hope its better to move on and let go from her for your own sake

It was sad because I talked to her a lot about mental health and this is such a classic move on her part from what we'd spoken about. Every single time she gets close to someone (usually romantic interests) she pushes them away.

She at one point blocked me on everything and I messaged her on every single platform I could to try and talk to her. She had apparently blocked me at like 2am and then went to sleep but when she woke up she saw that I had called her on discord which she hadn't blocked me on.

We cried over the phone and she talked about how she loved me and that she was so sorry. It felt so raw, it was such a beautiful moment.

I told her if she was going to break up with me she should at least tell me first (she told me she's bad at confrontation and that she had just blocked her last boyfriends).

Around 2 weeks later we were talking and she was just getting generally angry at me, this started happening near the end. She randomly hung up and I messaged her asking why she was acting like this and she told me she would call soon.

Before the call I told her "if you're going to break up with me, at least don't block me" and she said "I don't want to break up with you", we broke up over the phone 30 minutes later.

She said she cared about me and that if she truly didn't care for me she would've just stayed with me and resented me.

After the breakup we spoke for a few days but it was very off, I kinda told her how I was trying to get over her but I got really physically ill (I think due to her) and lost like 10% of my weight.

A few days later I realized she had blocked me on everything and her best friend added me. Her best friend was flirting and I assumed it was a prank but I sorta played along and did the whole "I'm not interested" thing.

I talked to her about how I just missed my ex and she started telling all these stories about my ex cheating on me. Later on they sent a snap together (my ex looked so pretty) and then I said "Fuck, I knew it". What came after was a not very nice voice note calling me mean names and my ex saying "I don't wanna be your fucking friend, okay" they were laughing and going "is this bullying?" And that fucking broke me.

Nowadays I'm pretty much blocked on everything but a few days I went on my only alt account not blocked by her and saw that she had reposted an ihatemybf video.

I really think she just has some mental issues but I really will always have love for her. I feel so creepy for still thinking of her and still checking her page.

I should also add we were planning to meet in the summer but during the breakup she cited that she "felt like talking to me was pointless and a waste of time" even though she liked talking to me. She talked about how we were so young and that it was stupid to be tied down to someone far away. She she couldn't imagine us actually meeting in person.

I apologize for the rant, felt good to get it off my chest. I really really really have no hate for her in my heart.

 

[Ascending2Tyrone]

I apologize for the rant, felt good to get it off my chest. I really really really have no hate for her in my heart.

Nah no need to apologize feel free to vent. this really just sounds like young teenage dumb love. not dumb in a sense where like your feelings dont matter and its invalid but dumb in a sense like you guys are both really young and going through hella changes especially her. it does sound like she has issues and such and it seemed like you were much more invested in the relationship than she was. its fair for her to think that way about being tied down to someone far away and that she actually couldn't imagine you guys meeting in person, she just worded it the wrong and harsh way. Trust me if she truly valued you and loved you like she said she did she would find a way to meet you in person no matter what. I know it does suck because you were hella emotionally invested and she discarded you like that but dont take that snapchat video to heart she was around her friends trying to have an ego its how girls are, trust shes hurting too. also get off that alt account for your own sake its only doing more damage you should try your best to heal. her blocking you was doing you a favor stalking her account will only keep you more attached and in pain. out of sight out of mind is best. her reposting ihatemybf vids is kind of tricky because they could be about you or they couldn't and thats just going to keep you stuck wondering making you feel worse. She'll probably come back it seemed like she actually loved you at the time if i were you i would let her go but i know it'll be impossible I just want you to know that if you take her back with open arms she wont really respect you anymore. The same dynamic will happen again because there was no consequence. she will come and go freely as she pleases I just want you to know what you sign up for if you take her back

 

[Wildlife]

Nah no need to apologize feel free to vent. this really just sounds like young teenage dumb love. not dumb in a sense where like your feelings dont matter and its invalid but dumb in a sense like you guys are both really young and going through hella changes especially her. it does sound like she has issues and such and it seemed like you were much more invested in the relationship than she was. its fair for her to think that way about being tied down to someone far away and that she actually couldn't imagine you guys meeting in person, she just worded it the wrong and harsh way. Trust me if she truly valued you and loved you like she said she did she would find a way to meet you in person no matter what. I know it does suck because you were hella emotionally invested and she discarded you like that but dont take that snapchat video to heart she was around her friends trying to have an ego its how girls are, trust shes hurting too. also get off that alt account for your own sake its only doing more damage you should try your best to heal. her blocking you was doing you a favor stalking her account will only keep you more attached and in pain. out of sight out of mind is best. her reposting ihatemybf vids is kind of tricky because they could be about you or they couldn't and thats just going to keep you stuck wondering making you feel worse. She'll probably come back it seemed like she actually loved you at the time if i were you i would let her go but i know it'll be impossible I just want you to know that if you take her back with open arms she wont really respect you anymore. The same dynamic will happen again because there was no consequence. she will come and go freely as she pleases I just want you to know what you sign up for if you take her back

Yea if she does come back I won't just let her waltz back into my life and rule it again, I hope she's doing well and I hope she finds peace without me tbh.

 

[Ascending2Tyrone]

Yea if she does come back I won't just let her waltz back into my life and rule it again, I hope she's doing well and I hope she finds peace without me tbh.

easier said than done but im truly glad you're able to say this just follow through with it