I hate doing this but i have to

D

Deleted member 21735

Fire
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back in 2018, i put all my energy into changing myself so that i could be more like a girl i liked. i cut video games, forums, started drinking coffee the same way she did, copied her eating habits, copied her personality traits etc. but it was my choice, i did it cause i liked her that much, ok? ofc it didnt work, she didnt give a shit and still saw me as the same ugly loser.

my itis, on the other hand, already had lots of stuff in common with me, and it kept eating me from the inside. i couldnt stand being like her in any way so this time i was FORCED to abandon my own self. i cut video games, anime, music she listened to and you know whats left? ALL the shit i developed in order to be like the other girl, there is nothing left of me anymore, NOTHING. my own parents dont recognize me anymore, ofc they dont, i sold my SOUL for power and its driving me crazy.

fuck that bitch, she made me from a stable person to an unstable one. now im a legit freakshow, at least before i had hopes and dreams, i was fighting for someone and everytime i saw her that kept me going. now what do i have? NOTHING, only bad memories and trauma. I HATE my oneitis, she ruined me and everything i worked so hard to build. Now i have to wear a mask and pretend i like things that i dont.
 
Last edited:
It's over
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 22918 and Deleted member 21735
Do you actually do the exercises you just mentioned daily??
 
its tought out there i wont lie but dont let ur crest fall crestfallen95
 
Nah i just was curious cuz youre mentally destroyed so if it had any positive effects as people say
people say lots of dumb things you know. i cry sometimes when i do these things.
 

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