futureashtray
caylee cowan > your oneitis
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2023
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That sight where others are all together and laughing, chatting, and bonding with each other. As if the world was a joyful place
I hate it, last night I decided to stalk the chinktok account of Stephen Curry (a famous basketball player)
and I saw this post
i hate the way they smile. i wish something happens so they aren’t so glad.
I prefer suffering, joy and peace are uneventful and bore me.
conflict and hardship make life meaningful.
I hate that whole entire post, I want them to encounter a hopeless and inevitable hardship that will leave them coping for the rest of their life
I hate the 5th image the most. I hope I am able to live a life where I am able to take the joy and happiness of others and replace it with endless suffering
for life has given me nothing but suffering with hidden blessings, and I plan to use those blessings to curse others
I remember a few months ago I was forced to go with my family to a family friend’s house for a few days and I was stuck caring for my younger siblings
that family had a daughter who was my age but she was disgusted by my appearance, and her parents were not strict with her at all, she would have friends over or go to her friend’s house whenever she wanted and that was what she would do all day
then there was me, I was stuck caring for my younger siblings and then I remember it was the 3rd being there, and it was 1 am and I could hear my family apart from my siblings with her and her family. I could hear the beer bottles, the laughing, the chatting.
And I felt a new and different feeling of rage. It was quiet. then I stared at my infant sister sleeping, I saw her face and began to weep.
I then stopped and tried to ponder as to why I was weeping, I could not figure out why. so I decided to use my phone then I found a video of a widow mourning the death of her husband, and I started to feel strangely calm, I then decided to look at images of the war in gaza and all the dead children and I started to relax, then I decided to watch gore and listen carefully to the screams and i even fell asleep.
It was the best sleep I have ever had in my life.
I hate it, last night I decided to stalk the chinktok account of Stephen Curry (a famous basketball player)
and I saw this post
i hate the way they smile. i wish something happens so they aren’t so glad.
I prefer suffering, joy and peace are uneventful and bore me.
conflict and hardship make life meaningful.
I hate that whole entire post, I want them to encounter a hopeless and inevitable hardship that will leave them coping for the rest of their life
I hate the 5th image the most. I hope I am able to live a life where I am able to take the joy and happiness of others and replace it with endless suffering
for life has given me nothing but suffering with hidden blessings, and I plan to use those blessings to curse others
I remember a few months ago I was forced to go with my family to a family friend’s house for a few days and I was stuck caring for my younger siblings
that family had a daughter who was my age but she was disgusted by my appearance, and her parents were not strict with her at all, she would have friends over or go to her friend’s house whenever she wanted and that was what she would do all day
then there was me, I was stuck caring for my younger siblings and then I remember it was the 3rd being there, and it was 1 am and I could hear my family apart from my siblings with her and her family. I could hear the beer bottles, the laughing, the chatting.
And I felt a new and different feeling of rage. It was quiet. then I stared at my infant sister sleeping, I saw her face and began to weep.
I then stopped and tried to ponder as to why I was weeping, I could not figure out why. so I decided to use my phone then I found a video of a widow mourning the death of her husband, and I started to feel strangely calm, I then decided to look at images of the war in gaza and all the dead children and I started to relax, then I decided to watch gore and listen carefully to the screams and i even fell asleep.
It was the best sleep I have ever had in my life.
