I have an overpowering urge to create

[6ft4]

As a child I used to always have a collection of A4 pages with drawings on them.

When I was 6 I made a book with my own versions of digimon, I had it nearby up until recently and I still consider it impressive

Once I reached 9 years old and developed an interest in sports I began restructuring sports leagues and writing my own formats for them and writing all time teams of the best players from certain leagues/regions.

I also designed sports jerseys/kits and football boots, basically had an entire sportswear line designed as well as stadiums designed.

I also made plans for video games with in depth game modes, a list of potential stadiums and progression stories etc.

At 12 I began using microsoft paint to edit pictures and make memes

At 14 I had broadband for the first time so I began to download videos then edit them in windows movie maker to create montages

I started recording goals I scored in video games using my phone and making youtube videos from them.

By 15 I was a full on youtubecel and my production quality had stepped up massively, I also began using photoshop

I hit my first peak with youtube videogamecelling at 17 and was earning decent money from it for the time.

From 17-18 I spent a decent amount of time producing music but lost patience with it because I wasn't creating to the standard I desired

At 19 my laptop was slow so I didnt edit videos as much and I wanted to switch my focus to being a gymcel youtuber but because my progress was slow I felt I couldnt justify making regular videos while being skinny and could only upload progress vids every few months (I should've just gone the Joe Fazer route had I known relatable skinnycels had an avenue)

During this time when I was no longer creating I basically went mentalcel doing everything I could to try ascend and slay but not getting the results I wanted
I had a couple of channels where I uploaded fitness montage style vids but they both got strikes and shut down.

During this time I also got into forums and using thread creation as an outlet for writing.

When I finished college and had 0 channels which I was actively uploading to I just made the most of my looks ascension and slayed as much as I could

In hindsight, I think the frustration from not having an avenue to create drove me to seek slays because each fresh slay of a foid is telling your subconscious that you are creating (life) by cumming in a foid.

After a few years of slaying my slaying days came to an end then my workcel days came to an end and I recaptured my creative spark and have been youtubecelling again

I will not be able to create but a fraction of the ideas I have for videos, music, philosophy, literature in this lifetime

 

[uksucks]

Same I used to be a pro Lego builder, so my mum says.

Are you an autist btw?

Also link YT channel? I'll sub

 

[ihearvoices]

I used to be like that, but since 14 my brain is flooded with extreme high levels of kf dopamine, so since then, my life has been going downhill.

But i love it, i love the motion, i love falling, the change from potential to kinetic energy, i have always despised pople who reach certain level of potential energy and try their hardest to maintain it.

Unfortunately it only takes one loser like mine to slowly undermine values they respect and eventually make them question thier existence.

Everything is fake value, only exception being face card.